Nine years after his testimony helped send a serial killer to death row, forensic psychologist Jack Gramm (Al Pacino) receives a death threat from an unknown source. Worse still, someone is committing a series of murders using the exact same modus operandi as the man Gramm helped put away, leading authorities to wonder if both the wrong man was convicted and Gramm himself might somehow be involved in the crimes. With time quickly running out, Gramm must convince the cops he’s innocent, stop the killer from striking again, and make sure a dangerous psychopath keeps his date with the executioner’s needle.

CRITIQUE

I can sum up why you don’t want to see 88 Minutes in four simple sentences. First off, it stars Al Pacino, but it wasn’t directed by Christopher Nolan or Michael Mann, the only filmmakers able to get a good performance out of the actor nowadays. Secondly, eighteen producers are credited, and that’s never a good sign. Third, this sat on the shelf for nearly two years before finally securing a North American distribution deal. And lastly, this movie is, plainly put, monumentally awful.

I’d say it took me only ten minutes to seriously start wondering exactly how this movie got made. It wasn’t until the end credits that all was revealed. See, 88 Minutes was released by Sony, but it wasn’t funded by Sony. The money instead came from one of those film production houses (read: factory farms) that have popped up in Eastern Europe over the past decade or so. Combine that with all of those credited producers and the solution to the puzzle presents itself: the movie was made as a tax shelter. It’s why Uwe Boll keeps finding work, it’s what keeps Steven Seagal, Jean-Claude Van Damme, and Wesley Snipes employed, and it’s the sole reason 88 Minutes exists. Knowing that, do you really think you should waste your time on it?

For a man who’s been producing and directing movies for the past three decades, director Jon Avnet (who also directed the recently released Righteous Kill, which I suppose means he intends to go down with the sinking ship that is Pacino’s career) seems to have no idea whatsoever of how to put a film together.

Avnet’s direction is so flat you could land planes on it. (I almost took a cheap shot at Keira Knightley there, but thought better of it.) Not a single frame in 88 Minutes shows evidence of directorial skill or competence. Then again, that may in fact be the perfect approach to the script, which is credited to Gary Scott Thompson, creator of the television series Las Vegas. The plot is preposterous, the dialogue insipid, the characters poorly drawn, the numerous red herrings painfully obvious.                

I’m not sure which aspect of the movie I found harder to swallow, the killer’s ridiculous, absurdly far-fetched plan or the idea that Pacino’s character is a stud without equal. This is another story in which the killer (whose identity is painfully obvious less than thirty minutes in) is omniscient and omnipresent; in order for all of this to come together, this person would have to be able to control time and space, and would likely also have the ability to erase others’ memories.

As for Pacino’s animal magnetism, well, that’s just damned silly. He’s paunchy, he’s aging, he gets winded when he jogs for more than five seconds (one of the few kicks the movie provides is spotting the stunt double employed whenever Pacino’s character is required to move more than ten feet), yet young women keep throwing themselves at him. Unless there’s something we’re not being told about the sexual orientation of the entire male population of the fictional university at which Pacino teaches (conveniently located in the Pacific Northwest, thereby allowing the movie to be filmed on the cheap in Canada), I’m not buying it.

The cast is uniformly terrible. Pacino consistently looks like he either needs a nap or just woke up from one; I’m no clairvoyant, but at this point I think it’s safe to say we may never see another good Pacino performance. Alicia Witt, playing Pacino’s teaching assistant (yes, she comes on to Pacino, but he inexplicably turns her down; fortunately, though, she forgets to put her shirt back on), comes across as if someone had to put a gun to her head just to get her to the set each morning.

The less said about Leelee Sobieski (playing one of Pacino’s students) the better; it’s obvious she had her mind on writing more bad poetry or perhaps subjecting the world to a spoken word album. And Neal McDonough (playing the guy Pacino helps lock away at the beginning) continues his career nosedive; he’s a damned fine actor, but after this flick and his turn in last year’s I Know Who Killed Me, I’m close to forgetting he was even in Band of Brothers. The only member of the cast I’m willing to cut any slack is Leah Cairns (whose role is nothing more than a ridiculous plot contrivance), but that’s only because of the nude calisthenics she performs in her opening scene.

THE VIDEO

The 2.35:1/1080p transfer is, at best, uneven. Exteriors can look very good, with colors that, at least on occasion, are lushly saturated and a slightly above average sense of depth; detail is spotty, especially in long and medium shots. Interiors are murky and flat, with blacks that skew more toward charcoal gray and colors that are skewed toward a sickly, noise-ridden green. I have no idea whether this is a transfer problem or is inherent in the original photography, but it’s both surprising and disappointing to see these sorts of flaws in such a recent release.

THE AUDIO

The Dolby TrueHD 5.1 audio (available in English or French) is very front-heavy, with the surrounds only sparingly used for score bleed and a small number of directional effects. Dialogue sounds okay overall, but there are moments when it’s somewhat flat; several lines also get buried too far down in the mix. Bass action is lackluster and murky. English, English SDH, and French subtitles are included.

THE EXTRAS

The commentary by director Jon Avnet offers a better viewing/listening experience than the movie itself, but that’s not saying much. Like the movie, it also offers several unintentional laughs, as Avnet seems to have no idea whatsoever just how bad his work is.

Director’s Point of View (7 minutes) is an EPK-style interview with Avnet, who discusses the script, the cast, etc.

The Characters Within (7 minutes) is an EPK-style interview with Pacino, who discusses his character.

What’s billed as an alternate ending (10 minutes) isn’t truly an alternate ending, but is rather the ending that made it into the movie with a brief coda attached. The ultimate outcome isn’t changed, nor is the truly ludicrous nature of the final scenes.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Some movies make you laugh, some movies make you cry, some movies make you want to hurt yourself halfway through to balance out the pain inflicted by watching the movie. Clearly, 88 Minutes is one of the latter.