When they tire of the mortal world’s hubris, Zeus (Liam Neeson) and Hades (Ralph Fiennes) conspire to ensure humans will once again worship the gods of Olympus without reservation. A major component of their plan involves sacrificing Andromeda (Alexa Davalos), the daughter of the rulers of the city of Argos, to the Kraken, a fearsome sea monster Hades created during his and his brother’s quest to defeat their father, the Titan Kronos. Perseus (Sam Worthington), the son of Zeus and a mortal woman, undertakes a perilous quest to stop his father and uncle’s plan from coming to fruition.

CRITIQUE

I’ve never been a fan of the original Clash of the Titans. I was eleven when it was released, making me a prime target, but the only parts I found entertaining were Ray Harryhausen’s effects and the PG nudity. The writing is hackneyed, the direction is listless, the pacing is slack, the acting leaves much to be desired (Harry Hamlin’s so wooden he makes Channing Tatum look like Roberto Benigni), and its cribbing from Star Wars (hey, let’s make R2-D2 an owl!) irked me to no end.

So as far as I was concerned, there was nowhere to go but up, which is why I didn’t get my knickers in a twist when this remake was announced. Unfortunately, the 2010 version is more or less a lateral move. It’s certainly better mounted and slicker than the original, but it creates its own set of problems, ones that prevent it from working on even the level of a dumb popcorn flick.

I don’t think it’s any secret this movie had a troubled production. First off, the script went through numerous writers. The first two to have a go at it, John Glenn and Travis Wright, who helped contribute to Eagle Eye, aren’t credited. The third, Travis Beacham, who has no notable credits to his name, is credited. Lawrence Kasdan was brought in around the time Stephen Norrington was signed to direct, and his revisions of Beacham’s draft turned the story into a pantheistic smackdown; he receives no credit. Phil Hay and Matt Manfredi, who wrote the god-awful Æeon Flux and were brought in when Norrington bailed and Louis Leterrier signed on, are credited, reportedly having written most of what comprised the shooting draft. (Yes, that’s right, the guys who wrote Æon Flux were brought in to rewrite the guy who wrote Raiders and Empire, which is like bringing in a quadriplegic to relieve Cy Young.)

The movie was cast, shot, and Leterrier delivered his initial cut. The suits didn’t like what they saw and ordered major rewrites and reshoots (which explains why someone like Danny Huston, whose role was much larger in the initial cut, gets one dialogue-free shot in the final version). All of this overhauling was rushed, and the movie’s postproduction phase was truncated (which explains why roughly eight thousand visual effects companies are listed in the end credits). And to top it all off, the decision to convert the movie to 3-D was made only a few weeks before the scheduled release date. With that sort of foolishness going down, the movie never stood a chance.

What you get here in the final product is a movie that moves from setpiece to setpiece, leaving character development and narrative flow to twist in the wind. The visual effects are extremely iffy, okay at times and downright awful at others. But here’s the big problem: the story doesn’t make a whole hell of a lot of sense. Early on we see Hades convince Zeus, who’s equally upset that the age of the gods appears to be coming to a close, to let him scare the mortals into returning to their kowtowing ways. So if Zeus is up for it, why does he later try to help Perseus find a way to defeat the Kraken? He agrees to a plan, then does everything he can in order to help the individual who’s working to make sure that plan fails. The entire impetus of the movie is tossed aside, and whoever made the call doesn’t seem to care. 

Look around the ‘net and you’ll find the shooting draft of the movie. Take a look at it and you’ll see that originally Perseus was aided in his quest by other denizens of Olympus, who discovered Zeus was being duped by Hades, who was looking to usurp his brother’s power. That makes sense. In the final version Hades is still looking to push Zeus out of the way, although no one knows this, which means that the help Perseus is receiving from on high makes even less sense.

Furthermore, Perseus has little motivation to undertake his quest in the first place. Here he’s doing it apparently for no other reason than he’s pissed, whereas in the myth, the original movie, and this movie’s original cut, he’s doing it in order to save Andromeda, with whom he’s fallen in love. But in the theatrical cut his affections have been (haphazardly) shifted to the character of Io (played by Gemma Arterton), whose entire reason for being is to tag along with Perseus and his band and give longwinded, exposition-filled speeches that help explain the backstory. (She even gives one that explains Perseus’s backstory, the events of which are pretty clearly covered in the movie’s prologue. Again, was no one paying attention to this thing’s logic or structure?)

Much like Percy Jackson, this cinematic year’s other major myth-based fantasy offering, Clash of the Titans has been pared down (remove the end credits and it runs 95 minutes) to the point of episodic crudity. Once he undertakes his quest, Perseus does little more than travel from action sequence to action sequence, getting into a scrape and then getting out of it, often with the help of characters who conveniently arrive exactly when he needs them.

To illustrate, here’s a breakdown of the movie’s second act: Perseus and his companions are walking through a wood. Perseus wanders off, pulled away by some urging. He finds a magical sword (which looks an awful lot like the one Brad Pitt wielded in Troy, leading me to wonder if Warner Bros. is setting up some future crossover) which has deposited in the wood by the gods. He walks a little more, runs across Pegasus. As he’s stroking Pegasus, a bad guy shows up and kills a couple people. Perseus gives chase. The bad guy is wounded, and his dripping blood gives rise to those giant scorpions that were so prominently featured in the trailers. A heated battle ensues, and just as it ends several Djinn show up, which is good, as not only can their magic can save Perseus from the scorpion venom that’s coursing through his arm, they also know how to tame and ride the even bigger scorpions that have arrived.

Leterrier has handled action well in the past, but he’s hit-or-miss here, which isn’t a good quality in a movie that been hacked, whittled and chopped to the point where action is more or less all that’s left. The scorpion sequence is jerky and hard to follow at times, but it could be a case of cutting around the effects, which look worse and worse as the scene rolls on. The Medusa sequence is better (even if it does look a little too much like something from God of War), with less frenetic editing and smoother camerawork. But it, too, is hampered by dodgy effects, which look more like animatics than finished product. Had the movie not been rushed and ruined, this sequence could have been a killer. (This sequence contains my favorite touch of inventiveness--possibly the only one exhibited--in the movie: in keeping with her origins, Medusa has a lilting laugh and her human beauty flashes across her face before she kills.)

I can’t say Leterrier’s original cut would have been a markedly better experience. And the chances of it ever seeing the light of day are none and none, so I suppose there’s point wasting time whining about what went down. But I can say there’s no possible way the original version was worse than what was ultimately released. No possible way. The early scripts were by no means fantastic, but they were better than the nonsense the studio forced Leterrier to shoot. This version is an illogical mess, with no regard for rhyme or reason. It’s pretty damned near insulting.

THE VIDEO

The 2.40:1/1080p transfer--encoded with VC-1 onto a 50GB disc--isn’t quite perfect; some postproduction manipulation knocks it down a couple notches. The image is very detailed, and there’s a terrific sense of depth. Colors, whether they be vivid primaries or rich earth tones, are excellently replicated. Black levels are flawless.

Now here’s the bad: you’d expect a movie like this to be gritty and grainy, but Clash has been scrubbed clean. This undoubtedly occurred after all of the effects had been integrated, a move quite likely intended to give the movie a consistent look (sort of like what happened with The Lord of the Rings). The image never looks digital, but it’s never completely film-like either.

THE AUDIO

The DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 track is gangbusters. The movie’s sound design is loud, active, and immersive from the opening scene to the moment the end credits roll. The three major action sequences--the scorpion battle, the Medusa sequence, and the showdown with the Kraken--all provide excellent demo material. Dialogue is perfectly balanced, always coming through clearly and exhibiting a natural quality throughout. And bass action is impossibly deep; it’s felt as much as it is heard.

French and Spanish Dolby Digital 5.1 tracks are also included; English SDH, French, and Spanish subtitles are available.

THE EXTRAS

All of the extras here are presented in high-definition.

The Maximum Movie Mode-Harnessing the Gods track isn’t as stuffed as recent MMM offerings, more akin to those that were presented in the early days of the format, with only a smattering of picture-in-picture material, including behind-the-scenes clips, cast/crew interviews, visual effects breakdowns, storyboards, production drawings, and creature concepts. It’s okay--it completely ignores all of the production woes--but nothing more.  

Ten Focus Points featurettes (36 minutes total) cover much of the same material in the Maximum Movie Mode track, but some of them are a little more in-depth. 

Sam Worthington: An Action Hero for the Ages (8 minutes) looks at the weapons and stunt training the actor underwent for the movie.

Most of the deleted scenes (20 minutes total) included here are taken from the first cut of the movie. You get to see how the other gods were involved in Perseus’s quest (and how these moments made more sense before they were reshot with Zeus replacing everyone else), as well as how the other gods fought against implementing Hades’s plan. 

The alternate ending (5 minutes) was also taken from the first cut. It plays much better than the ridiculous scene that caps the theatrical version.

The disc also provides BD-Live access, but there’s no movie-specific content available.

Early pressings will also contain a second disc that houses both DVD and digital copies of the movie.

FINAL THOUGHT

Wait another twenty-nine years and see if the third time’s the charm.