When he attempts to retrieve a briefcase for a client, private eye Malone (Thomas Jane)--who looks, talks, and sounds like he’s the result of a drunken tryst between his mother and Ross MacDonald’s Lew Archer--becomes involved in a complex mystery involving femme fatale Evelyn (Elsa Pataky), local crime boss Whitmore (Gregory Harrison), bruiser Boulder (Ving Rhames), psychopath Matchstick (Doug Hutchison), lounge singer Frankie the Crooner (French Stewart), and a blade-happy piece of jailbait named Mauler (Chris Yen).

CRITIQUE

Had Frank Miller (unwisely) sold the Sin City film rights to Roger Corman back in the early ‘90s, the resulting project might have looked something like Give ‘em Hell Malone. This movie shows its debt to Miller’s magnum opus in virtually every frame, but it’s not nearly as successful. It’s not really successful at all, as a matter of fact. Despite cast and crew members who bring several decades’ worth of professional experience to the table, Malone plays like amateur hour neo-noir.

It’s a little hard to discern the intent here. I’m not sure if the movie is a pastiche, a parody, or a straight-faced effort. It’s jokey and over-the-top, but it’s also played straight at times. And in spite of how arch it can be (often to the point of being off-putting), it also veers toward the other end of the spectrum and tries to be emotionally involving and moving. In other words, it’s a bit of a mess. Although it looks like no one involved put much effort into their work, the movie comes off as labored, when it should give the impression a lot of work went into making it look effortless.

Even director Russell Mulcahy (who really should have paid a bit more attention to shot-to-shot continuity; this movie contains so many goofs it may actually take the crown from Tim Burton’s Batman) had managed to find a consistent tone for the movie, writer Mark Hosack’s script still would have lamed the final product. The mystery that drives the plot is a poor (read: dumb) one. Hosack tries to make it complex, adding asides (none of which can be considered a genuine twist) and extraneous characters, but it’s clear early on exactly where this is headed. Any P.I. worth his fee would have figured everything out within fifteen or twenty minutes; the only reason Malone doesn’t is because he’s, well, an idiot. But to give credit where credit is due, Hosack did manage to concoct the most frightening fellatio scene this side of The World According to Garp. It’s the one memorable idea in an otherwise forgettable flick.   

With one exception, the performances are lifeless. The exception is Hutchison, who actually manages to be worse here than he was in Punisher: War Zone. In case you’re wondering how he pulls that off, I’ll tell you: he shamelessly cribs from Heath Ledger’s Joker. It’s grave-robbing at its worst. Hutchison does the voice, he does the mannerisms, and he tops it off with a big slice of cheese. It’s so crassly blatant not even the French would dare refer to it as homage.

THE VIDEO

The 2.35:1/1080p transfer--encoded with AVC onto a 25GB disc--is extremely disappointing. Sure, this is a direct-to-disc title (I don’t think the movie’s screening at the 2009 Comic-Con can be counted as a theatrical run), but it was shot little more than a year ago; I’ve seen half-assed catalog dumps that look better than this.

There’s some pop to a few of the more extreme color choices, but that’s about it as far as the plusses go. Despite being shot on Super 35 film stock, the image looks like it was sourced from cheap digital video. It’s often soft, flat, and waxy, with some of the most prevalent digital noise I’ve ever witnessed. Artifacts abound, and practically every hard-edged surface breaks up (even in static shots).

THE AUDIO

The DTS-HD 5.1 Master Audio track is impressive during the brief spurts of action (particularly the opening sequence), but has a tendency to collapse at other times. Dialogue sounds okay, if undistinguished. Bass action is a little uneven, wavering between effectively impressive and ho-hum; the same is true of surround action.

An English Dolby Digital 5.1 track is also included; English SDH and Spanish subtitles are available.

THE EXTRAS

The thin extras here kick off with interviews with Thomas Jane, Elsa Pataky, and Doug Hutchison (20 minutes, HD). The participants (predictably) discuss how they came to be involved in the project, how much fun they had, etc. They’re largely dull, although it is fun watching an otherwise disinterested Jane get increasingly pissed at a blaring car alarm.  

The only other extra is the movie’s trailer, which is also presented in high-def.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Give ‘em Hell Malone wants to be Sin City, but it ends up being closer to Frank Miller’s disastrous take on The Spirit. It’s by no means as awful, but close is certainly bad enough.