SYNOPSIS
While getting a sneak preview of an upcoming action flick, Danny Madigan (Austin O’Brien) suddenly finds himself sucked into the movie, working side by side with action hero Jack Slater (Arnold Schwarzenegger), a renegade L.A. cop trying to solve the murder of a relative. Using his knowledge of the movie’s plot, Danny helps Slater attempt to crack the case, but the real and fictional worlds are threatened when a psychopath named Benedict (Charles Dance) leaps out of the movie and sets his sights on the actor who portrays his nemesis.
CRITIQUE
Anyone and everyone who even toys with the idea of getting involved in the film industry should learn as much as they can about this movie’s production (Nancy Griffin’s excellent book Hit and Run is a good place to start). This is a textbook example of Hollywood hiring as many people as possible to build a ship only to forget to find a captain. Idea after idea is thrown at the wall, ingredient after ingredient is added to pot, and appendage after appendage is added to the camel, but it’s painfully obvious no one involved knew how to bring it all together.
A gaggle of A-list screenwriters, the biggest movie star in the world, and the director of the second best action movie of the ‘80s came together to create what ended up looking like the work of a sugar-rushing nine-year-old whose parents had just bought him an art tablet and a big box of Crayolas (probably one of those 64-color deals with the sharpener on the back). And it was all done under the aegis of a studio that two years earlier had blown a mess of cash on a little thing called Hudson Hawk. When will they ever learn?
Zak Penn and Adam Leff’s original script (which you can easily find online) was largely a straightforward parody of late ‘80s/early ‘90s action flicks. It still employed the device of a boy getting sucked into the world of a big action star, but it was far more pointed and far less whimsical. It was also violent as hell, featuring action and violence (as well as more than a little sex and profanity) even more over-the-top than the movies it parodied.
All of this changed the moment Arnie signed on, with the story altered into a strange hybrid of the movies that had made him the biggest star in the world and the family-friendly comedies that had recently brought him a new audience.
Shane Black and David Arnott were brought onboard to rewrite the script, as was an uncredited William Goldman (who would later describe his role as attempting to save a movie that couldn’t be saved). Arnie eventually selected John McTiernan to direct, which was a pretty big sign the action wasn’t exactly going to be played for laughs anymore. And in what has to be one of the most illogical examples of boneheaded studio hubris, someone decided to open the movie the week after Jurassic Park bowed. So there you go.
No one had any idea what to do with the material, but that didn’t stop them from assuming the movie would be the biggest thing since sliced bread. Guess they weren’t expecting all of that negative press (largely the result of some disastrous test screenings), which hit like a tidal wave months before the final edit was locked.
This thing was tagged as a bomb of historic proportions well in advance, and not even the might of those Burger King commercial featuring a collectible-cup-plugging Dan Cortese could put butts in theater seats. Much like Heaven’s Gate or The Postman, mention of this movie’s title will immediately evoke thoughts of its misguided evolution and disastrous performance. It seems no one ever stops to consider whether or not the movie itself is actually any good. As for that, well...
It doesn’t take long for all of the development woes to become evident. From the constantly shifting tone to the distracting cameos to the slapdash editing to the dodgy visual effects to the lame in-jokes, it’s clear that no one bothered to sift out the ideas that didn’t work, and it’s clear the movie was rushed through every stage of production. Had someone with a clear vision been given the time to hammer out the story, had an actor capable of handling both action and comedy been cast in the lead role (put this into production today and Dwayne Johnson would be the obvious choice), and had a director capable of handling comedy and action with equal ease been hired (did no one even bother to contact Richard Donner?), there’s a chance the movie could have worked, or at least worked better than it does in this form, which is pretty much a bust.
I think the real problem here is that everyone wanted to have their cake and eat it too. The movie wants to poke fun at big, loud, dumb action movies (although only in a kinda-sorta way) and at the same time be a big, loud, dumb action movie. But unlike the following year’s True Lies, it doesn’t really deliver on either front. It’s not particularly funny; the jokes are obviously coming from a guy who wants the audience to think he’s poking fun at himself when in reality he’s too guarded and calculating to actually do so. And the action scenes that are played for laughs are labored and forced, going too far out of their way to call attention to themselves.
The movie is also long--at least thirty minutes too long. Every act could easily have been trimmed, but the finale is by far the biggest offender. It’s a good thirty-five minutes from the moment Danny and Slater follow Benedict back into the real world until the end credits start to roll. This section of the movie should have run no longer than fifteen minutes; there’s no need for the return to the apartment Danny shares with his mother, and there’s no need for the scenes of Slater and Danny sightseeing. The climax should rev up the moment they come through the gateway, not fifteen minutes later.
Amidst all of the chaos, bloat, and money-wasting, some elements do shine through. There are a couple of clever ideas thrown into the mix; I like the bit where Slater fires his gun at the rear of a cab in the real world and is dismayed to discover the car doesn’t immediately blow up, and the idea that all fictional L.A. cops work out of the same high-tech precinct is a nice touch. Robert Prosky is very good as the projectionist at the theater Danny frequents (he delivers a couple of nice speeches about the power of cinema and imagination I’m positive represent Goldman’s major contributions to the script), and Dance (who was reportedly offered the role after Alan Rickman priced himself out) is fantastic. And I have to admit that some of the straightforward action is good, even if it does come off as more than a little incongruous.
Here’s all you really need to know: In their misguided attempts to please everyone, the filmmakers ended up with a product (and a product is exactly what it is) that is unlikely to truly please anyone. I waited seventeen years before finally caving and giving this movie a shot; I now understand why those poor few who did see it during its theatrical run told the rest of us to save our money.
THE VIDEO
The 2.40:1/1080p transfer--encoded with AVC onto a 50GB disc--is uneven. Exteriors and brightly lit interiors (about eighty percent of the movie) look great, but dimly lit interiors are noisy and slightly murky; there’s something of an orange push in color reproduction, which is also more noticeable in the darker scenes.
THE AUDIO
Sony had intended Last Action Hero to be the first release to boast an 8-channel SDDS soundtrack (Dolby Digital had bowed a year earlier with Batman Returns, and Jurassic Park introduced DTS to the world), but that plan failed (the wiring in one of the first theaters capable of SDDS playback caused a fire) and In the Line of Fire eventually became the first real showcase for the system.
This release’s DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 track (available in English, French, or Portuguese) was remixed from that SDDS mix, and it’s far more active than you’d expect from a film of this age, although it’s naturally not as refined as more recent offerings. The low end is a little weak, and Michael Kamen’s score (which features a couple of nods to some of his earlier work) is often presented at so high a level it starts to sound a little brassy.
A Spanish Dolby Digital 5.1 track is also included; English, English SDH, French, Portuguese, and Spanish subtitles are available.
THE EXTRAS
There’s not a thing in the way of standard extras, which isn’t surprising; I doubt anyone involved has any interest whatsoever in talking about their experiences, and all of the promotional stuff created back in the day would now come across as laughable.
All you get is another of Sony’s BD-Live-fueled movieIQ streams.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Like many notorious box office bombs, Last Action Hero has developed a rather fervent cult following over the years, but that doesn’t change the fact the movie simply doesn’t work. Finally seeing this movie after all these years made me long for the day True Lies hits Blu-ray, and made me glad Hot Fuzz already has.
