Nim Rusoe (Abigail Breslin) and her father Jack (Gerard Butler) live on a remote island in the middle of the Pacific. Jack, a scientist, leaves Nim behind while he embarks on a research expedition; a storm damages his boat and leaves him stranded at sea. With no one else to turn to, Nim seeks help from Alex Rover (Jodie Foster), the author of a bestselling series of high adventure novels. Nim believes Alex’s tales of adventure are true, little suspecting that the real Alex is an agoraphobic worrywart who can barely muster the courage to leave her own house.

CRITIQUE

I was almost (note the qualifier) enjoying Nim’s Island until the farting otter showed up. After that the movie had no chance whatsoever of winning me over. I’m no real fan of funny animal antics, and I don’t find flatulence to be the height of hilarity. So you can imagine how I reacted when this movie decided to combine the two.

Based on a children’s book by Wendy Orr, Nim’s Island attempts to win over its intended audience by playing the wish fulfillment card. Nim lives on an exotic island, which means she doesn’t have to go to school. Her father is obsessed with his work, meaning her leaves her to herself much of the time. She’s surrounded by a menagerie of animal pals, and what little kid wouldn’t love that?

Never mind that her mother was lost at sea, or that the nearest person her own age is several thousand miles away, or that she has no idea High School Musical 3 just opened. She’s living a life that would undoubtedly make her--for 96 minutes, anyway--the envy of children everywhere. Okay, I can accept that.

What I can’t accept is just how one-note the movie is. Nim’s Island isn’t so much lively as it is relentlessly noisy. It’s almost as if directors Mark Levin and Jennifer Flackett (who also had a hand in adapting the script) were deathly afraid the wee ones in the audience could fall asleep at any moment, so they cranked the movie up to eleven, turning it into such a frenetic, day-glo cartoon that at times I felt I was being assaulted (and this from someone who is anxiously awaiting the day The Goonies hits Blu-ray).

But I suppose none of this will matter to the young children at whom the movie is so squarely aimed. They’ll love all of the noise and bright colors. And they won’t be bothered by the fact that Butler is the most irresponsible father this side of John Phillips, or wonder how an eleven-year-old girl with a bum leg is able to scale the side of a craggy volcano, or be disappointed by the stupid, abrupt ending.

Further, they won’t mind when the movie morphs into the weirdest Home Alone clone to date and has Nim attempting to scare off the passengers of a cruise ship that stumbles upon the island by catapulting lizards at them (this is also the sequence in which the farting otter comes into play). They also won’t care that despite giving it her all, Foster is all wrong for her role; there are many things Foster can do, but making us truly believe she’s helpless, indecisive, and afraid of everything but her own shadow isn’t one of them.

But just because your children won’t be concerned with such things certainly doesn’t mean you should plop them down in front of the television and let them have at it. The fact that there is so little genuinely good kids’ cinema out there doesn’t mean we should give a pass to the mediocre or the bad.

Aside from the wonderful opening sequence and end credits, which employ a number of pleasingly quaint, old-school animation techniques, the only aspect of this movie that’s truly noteworthy is its portrayal of Nim as a voracious reader, so why not take a cue from that and buy your kids a book? (Even the one that served as the basis for this movie would be preferable to the movie itself.)

Not only will you be doing them a big favor, you’ll also be letting Hollywood know that the younger generation (to say nothing of the rest of us) deserves better than burp and fart jokes.

THE VIDEO

A mediocre movie receives a mediocre video presentation. The 2.40:1/1080p transfer on this disc is severely compromised by a jacked-up, burning contrast that plays fast and loose with colors, turns blacks into murky, noise-riddled grays, and flattens the image. This is especially true of the first thirty minutes or so, during which the video is borderline awful; any scene not photographed in blinding daylight becomes virtually impenetrable. Things slowly begin to improve during the second half hour, and continue to get better right up until the end; colors become more natural looking, and the two-dimensional quality begins to ease up, but even then the transfer never really moves above the level of average.

THE AUDIO

The movie provides a much better aural experience, although the mix itself is really nothing special. The lossless DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 track handles dialogue with ease, and Patrick Doyle’s score, while overbearing at times (no surprise there), sounds good. The surrounds are used to impart a nice sense of location, with the expected stock jungle and wildlife sounds spread throughout the soundstage. The low end is surprisingly active, with storms and crashing waves providing much of the boom. French and Spanish Dolby Digital 5.1 tracks are also included. English and Spanish subtitles are available.

THE EXTRAS

The commentary by Jodie Foster and Abigail Breslin is a waste. The normally intelligent Foster has little to contribute, while Breslin gushes about how much fun she had and how cool the animals were. 

The commentary by writer/directors Mark Levin and Jennifer Flackett is slightly more interesting. They discuss adapting the book, the challenges of shooting on location, working with the cast, etc.

Three deleted scenes (7 minutes) provide throwaway bits of Nim goofing around on the island.

Nim’s Spyglass Bonus View Mode is a Picture-in-Picture track providing interviews, behind-the-scenes footage, and other short featurettes. The track also includes what’s been dubbed Explorer Mode, which incorporates text-based trivia/factoid pop-ups into the track. (Given that this is Fox release, I was surprised at just how much material has been packed into these tracks.) 

Nim’s Friends (6 minutes) is an EPK-style featurette that gives an overview of the movie’s characters and plot.

Abigail’s Journey (6 minutes) is another EPK-style featurette, this one focusing on Breslin.

Working on Water (6 minutes) is yet another EPK-style featurette, this one focusing on the movie’s Australian location work.

Write Your Own Alex Rover Adventure Game is a BD-Java feature that allows you to fill in the blanks in a partially completed Alex Rover tale and then read the completed story.

Coconut Soccer Game is a BD-Java feature that allows you to play a game in which Nim’s lizard pal whacks coconuts with his tail.

Seaside Shuffle Game is a BD-Java feature that requires the player to uncover matching pairs of seashells.

FINAL THOUGHT