A big-screen remake of the “legendary” TV show about moonshining and motorhead hijinks that ran in prime time from 1979 to 1985.

CRITIQUE

Does a film critic recuse him or herself from reviewing a film based on a TV show of which he wasn’t a fan? How about one based on a book that he or she didn’t like? Would his or her initial bias predispose him or her to a negative review? Conversely, would a proponent of the source material incline him or her to write favoritively? My contention is that as a critic you leave your preconceptions behind and evaluate based on what’s on the screen. Sure, if you recognize that the tone has changed or key plot points were left out you would register your objection (or preference) for the adaptation. Every critic brings his or her own morality, political interpretation, knowledge, and history into the mix every time he or she writes something. When people have asked me why my opinion is any more correct or valid than anyone else’s, I tell them that it isn’t – I just have a knack for, and choose to write it.

So with that said, I approached The Dukes of Hazzard DVD without a prior jones for The Dukes of Hazzard TV series that aired from 1979 through 1985. I admit to my own like for certain lowbrow fare: Three’s Company, Married with Children, et al. There are just so many shows one can watch, and I never took to the Bo and Luke Duke bad boy machismo and Daisy Duke titillation. But I was up for a good ol’-fashioned down-home romp. It doesn’t have to be a work of art for an action-comedy to get my attention.

Unfortunately, this ain’t it! I can understand why the powers that be would mine past TV for feature-ripe material, but sometimes you should just let dead dogs lie, especially if you’re not going to add anything new to the mix. Sure we have Johnny Knoxville and Seann William Scott to take over the roles of the whooping and high-fiving male Duke cousins, Knoxville of Jackass pedigree and Scott a veteran of such classic art as Dude Where’s My Car and the American Pie series. Singer (and Mensa member) Jessica Simpson admirably fills out her Daisy Dukes and blinds with her smile in her big-screen debut, letting her physical traits do all her acting. But haven’t 145 TV episodes worn this material out already? This is a basically humorless action-comedy, though I did chuckle once or twice. I was embarrassed for Willie Nelson spewing bad one-liners as Uncle Jessie. Burt Reynolds, who showed a glimmer of reinvigorated talent in Boogie Nights, should just go gracefully into the night, displaying a comic caricature of his former debatable skill as Boss Hogg.

If you are anticipating a glimpse of Jessica in the buff by succumbing to the “Unrated” hype surrounding this DVD release, forget it. Some extra language and a couple of minor topless scenes are all that’s there to get your attention.

THE VIDEO

With bad continuity and awkward cuts, nothing is worth mentioning other then a few notable stunts and a good looking, bright orange General Lee, the infamous Dodge charger carried over from the TV series.

THE AUDIO

The film takes full advantage of the Dolby Digital 5.1 audio, with surround sound evident in the car chase sequences. The score, mostly southern rock numbers, keep the energy moving adequately. Subtitles are available in English, French, and Spanish.

THE EXTRAS

Wow, what a platter of must-see bits.

Daisy Dukes: The Short Short Shorts is a 4:41 clip on one of the film’s few stars – Daisy’s denims. You’ll learn how they were made, and if you are curious as to how many hugged Simpson’s cheeks, I’m here to spill the beans: Five bottoms in all, white corduroy “Daisy Dukes”, two pair of denim shorts, a micro mini denim skirt, and a pair of jeans. Great stuff!

The General Lee Lives is a 5:14 featurettes explaining the different rigs used to film the car in action – “just like another character in the movie.”

How to Launch a Muscle Car 175 Feet in 4 Seconds (4:50) shows the methodology the crew used to stage a couple of the films stunts, the movie’s two redeeming scenes.

The Hazards of Dukes (14:49) is a short on bringing the TV show (“Walking Tall for alcoholics”) to the screen, narrated by Richard Montgomery, the original TV voice of Hazzard County (Junior Brown narrates the movie).

Also included are Jessica Simpson’s “These Boots are Made for Walking” music video (4:48), 25-1/2 minutes of deleted scenes (as if we haven’t seen enough), four more minutes of pretty tame unrated additional scenes, five minutes of unfunny bloopers, five and half minutes of unfunny and unrated bloopers, and the original theatrical trailer.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Don’t buy, don’t rent, don’t bother.