When cat burglar Eddie Hawkins (Bruce Willis), nicknamed the Hudson Hawk, is released from prison, he is soon forced to join in a plot to steal three Da Vinci artifacts, in order to collect a trio of hidden pieces that will allow lead to be turned into gold.

CRITIQUE

Hudson Hawk is one of the most undeserving films ever to get a Special Edition; it’s a shrill, largely-unfunny film that bombed when it was released in 1991 and still feels like a huge misfire 17 years later.  Though the creative team is interesting (it was directed by Michael Lehmann and co-written by Daniel Waters, who were also responsible for Heathers), the result really doesn’t work well at all, and it isn’t worth seeking out.

The film is meant to be a vehicle for Brice Willis’ charismatic side, and tries to convince us from the start that he is a sly, likable hero.  But the story gives him little to work with; though his character Eddie is supposed to be a top cat burglar, none of the robbery sequences here are particularly clever.  The thefts are also burdened with the ridiculous conceit that Eddie and his partner (Danny Aiello) time their heists by loudly singing songs during the robberies themselves, an unsubtle, unconvincing way to actually pull off the crimes.

The cartoonish, slapsticky story here never makes much sense; there are a lot of comic villains, including James Coburn and his crew of lackeys all named after candy bars (best not to ask), but it’s never quite clear who is working for who or when double-crosses are taking place.  The main bad guys are played by Sandra Bernhard and Richard E, Grant, who pitch their performances at a shrill, painful level, and chew all the scenery they can get their hands on, to increasingly-diminishing effect.

Though this is nominally a comedy, there really isn’t much that is funny, while though the story is fairly simple (built as it is around a trio of robberies), even this isn’t mined for much.  Willis is even given an unlikely romance with a nun, played by Andie McDowell, though this subplot doesn’t work either.  By the end, it’s clear why this got – and deserves – the bad reputation that it still has today, though it isn’t really campy-bad enough to merit viewing on that level either.

THE VIDEO

Hudson Hawk is presented in 1.85:1 anamorphic widescreen, and the transfer is pretty good; the picture looks crisp, though it doesn’t really help.

THE AUDIO

Hudson Hawk is presented in English and French Dolby Surround.  Dialogue, music and sound effects come through clear.  There are English, French and Portuguese subtitles.

THE EXTRAS

There is a Commentary featuring director Michael Lehmann, which leads one to hope that he’ll talk about what went wrong with the film and what role Willis’ ego played in the poor choices that were made.  Unfortunately, the first thing Lehmann says is that he won’t be talking any trash about what happened; the rest of the commentary is generic, and does nothing to redeem the film.

There are five minutes of deservedly Deleted Scenes, most of them just dumb, including a subplot about Eddie’s murdered pet monkey.

The Hudson Hawk Trivia Track enables factoids to pop up during the movie, which again would be better if the movie were actually good.

My Journey To Minerva is a tiresome 11-minute featurette in which Sandra Bernhard talks about her role in the film.

In the 30-minute The Story of Hudson Hawk, Bruce Willis and executive producer Robert Kraft talk (in late 2005) about their friendship and the genesis of the film, which was a song the pair wrote together when Willis was still a bartender in New York.

Hudson Hawk Theme by Dr. John is a 4-minute video of Dr. John singing the title song.

FINAL THOUGHT

The movie is a misfire, and even Bruce Willis fans will find little to enjoy here.