“The Longest Yard” is a remake of the original 1974 classic starring Burt Reynolds. The plot in the 2005 version is essentially the same as the 1974 version. Former pro football quarterback Paul Crewe (Adam Sandler) is sent to prison and leads a team of inmates against the prison guards in a friendly game of football. Does the 2005 version of “The Longest Yard” compete with the 1974 classic? Read on to find out.

CRITIQUE

“The Longest Yard” begins with Paul Crewe relaxing, drinking and watching a football game as his girlfriend (Courteney Cox) is hosting a lavish party. She then suddenly storms in to demand that he not only join the party, but must also wear a stupid looking outfit or else the relationship is over. Of course, Crewe does what any self respecting man would do, he immediately locked her in the closet and took her shiny new Bentley for a ride. The police quickly put an end to Crewe’s drinking and driving as Crewe now finds himself on a bus headed for prison.

My, how times have changed, the scene that I just described plays out slightly different than it did in 1974. Then, Paul Crewe, played by Burt Reynolds, actually physically roughed his girlfriend by grabbing her by the throat and throwing her up against the wall. Since it’s 2005 you just know that this sort of thing is not appropriate. This comparison was to illustrate one of the differences between the original film and the remake, but now on with the review. Immediately upon arrival at the prison, Crewe is summoned by the warden to take charge of a football team to which he initially refuses, but you know he’ll quickly change his mind to get to the task at hand.

There are a few times in the movie where I found myself laughing out loud. The operative word is only a few; I wanted to and should’ve laughed a lot more. Chris Rock, who plays a caretaker, is only allowed to cut loose a little bit and do his funny business. This is probably because of the fact that Rock was bound by the constraints of a character already established in the original film. Rock isn’t the only person whose talents were not fully utilized. The film neglects its greatest assets, the motley crew of inmates playing on Crewe’s team. These behemoths, such as Bill Goldberg are criminally underused. Stone Cold Steve Austin can be absolutely hilarious whenever he says something, but you would never know it watching him in this film. I know I’m just a critic, but would someone in Hollywood please put Stone Cold Steve Austin in more movies. Kevin Nash who plays guard Engleheart is the only person whose allowed to go all out and play against type, towards the end of the film his character turns into someone who has been watching too much of the “Lifetime” cable channel.

The performances were decent all around; Adam Sandler played Paul Crewe the same as Burt Reynolds did in 1974 and this is not a bad thing. Reynolds’ role in the remake is fortunately more substantial than a mere cameo, which is definitely a good thing. “The Longest Yard” does not stand up to the 1974 original as it had much better character development and is funnier. This is not a fair comparison because for one the original has an R rating which allows for more freedom, while the 2005 remake would not have gotten the green light with an R rating (and subsequently it wouldn’t have made $157 million at the box office). Overall, “The Longest Yard” is not terrible, but some risk taking could’ve made this film much better.

THE VIDEO

Paramount Home Entertainment presents “The Longest Yard” in 2.35:1 anamorphic widescreen format (enhanced for 16:9 TVs). The picture quality is excellent throughout with rock solid colors except for the few instances where computer graphics are used.

THE AUDIO

Paramount home Entertainment presents “The Longest Yard” in English 5.1 and 2.0 surround sound, as well as French 2.0 surround sound. The available subtitles options are English and French. The sound quality is top notch; all speakers are utilized especially during the final game where all of the hits sound bone crunching. So be sure to turn this sound up when watching the last part of the movie.

THE EXTRAS

First Down and Twenty Five to Life (20:00): Approximately 20 minute’s worth of interviews and behind the scenes footage from the cast and crew. This is mostly just fluff material but some interesting tidbits of information are revealed.

The Care & Feeding of Pro Athletes (10:55) is silly and actually discusses the appetites and feeding of the athletes that participated in the film. I’m going to make a stretch and say that I don’t think anyone will really care about how these people were fed.

Lights, Camera, Touchdown (11:19) shows all of the techniques and that were used to shoot this film. A lot of attention is paid to the techniques involved in shooting the final game at the end of the film.

Extra Points (6:00): Director Peter Segal discusses five instances where computer graphics were used in the film. Depending on your CGI savvy you may or may not be surprised when these instances occur in the film.

Deleted Scenes (6:13): Segal presents several scenes that were left on the cutting room floor. None of these scenes were necessary and are not missed.

Audio Commentary by Peter Segal is an average track with some good info but that's about it.

Music Video: "Errtime"By Nelly (4:30) is just that.

Here Comes the Boom (2:50) is montage of shots from the film set to music. You could consider this another music video.

Fumbles and Stumbles (3:56) is a very funny blooper reel.

FINAL THOUGHTS

This film will probably be enjoyed more by those who have no knowledge of the original movie. The film should’ve been rated R which would’ve allow more freedom in terms of the humor. The rest of the cast not being utilized is a wasted opportunity especially in the case of Steve Austin. “The Longest Yard” does have some funny spots but is mostly a wasted opportunity, and that’s the bottom line because I said so.