Here Come the Fall
As the Calendar Switches Seasons, Hollywood Finally Gets Serious

I feel a bit slow in saying this, but in case you haven’t noticed Summer at the multiplex is officially over. The past two weeks have been so abysmal studios haven’t even bothered to screen their new releases for critics, College, Disaster Movie and even the Nicholas Cage actioner Bangkok Dangerous all going into wide release sight unseen meeting with predictably disastrous results.

That all changes today, the Meg Ryan/Annette Benning remake The Women, the Robert DeNiro/Al Pacino thriller Righteous Kill and the Coen Brothers’ follow-up to their Oscar-winning No Country for Old Men, the Brad Pitt/George Clooney/Frances McDormand dark comedy Burn After Reading, all going into wide release. Yes, Fall has definitely arrived, and those hoping for another magnificent final four months of cinematic enjoyment on par with what 2007 had to offer let’s just say I’m right there eagerly anticipating it right along with you.

Bond (Daniel Craig) is back in MGM/Sony's Quantum of Solace

The irony here of course is that the season’s big story had nothing to do with the eagerly anticipated return of 007 in Quantum of Solace, Oliver Stone’s election year take on a sitting Commander-in-Chief W, award-winning director Clint Eastwood’s drama Changeling with Angelina Jolie, Moulin Rouge auteur Baz Lurhmann’s massive WWII love story Australia with Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman, or the fangirl frenzy getting ready to pounce all over the adaptation of Stephenie Meyer’s teenage vampire love story Twilight.

No, the big news concerns what you’re not going to see, the latest saga of “The Boy Who Lived” Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince delayed from its original November release all the way to July 17, 2009. Why? Depends on who you want to ask, but the bottom line (as it pretty much always is in Hollywood) has to with the – well – bottom line, and considering Warner Bros. had a pretty uninspiring slate going into next Summer this one, at least on the studio’s part, was really a no-brainer.

Reverberations of this movie can be felt all throughout the schedule. Twilight immediately moved up a full month into the picture’s vacated November 21 position to get a jump on the Thanksgiving Holiday, while Quantum of Solace, Australia and the Reese Witherspoon/Vince Vaughn romantic comedy Four Christmases all moved to prime box office real estate thanks to this sudden subtraction. Fans screamed, Entertainment Weekly got caught with their pants down (their Fall Preview featuring a certain boy wizard on the cover) and theater owners all complained, but Warner Bros. stuck firmly to their guns, the only Potter this holiday a seasonal a television visit from the nefarious Mister Potter in It’s a Wonderful Life.

Personally, I could really care less. While a couple of the entries in the massively successful series work just fine for me (notably parts three and five), overall I don’t quite know what all the fuss is about. When it comes to Fall, I want to see films like Danny Boyle’s much-buzzed Slumdog Millionaire or Darren Aronofsky’s supposedly brilliant The Wrestler featuring a career-defining performance by the once much-maligned Mickey Rourke. I want to see if Harrison Ford can finally get an Oscar for Crossing Over, if Gus Van Sant can return to his intensely idiosyncratic and emotionally moving form with Milk.

More than any of that, though, I just want to see good movies. While this Summer offered up its fair share of winners (WALL-E, The Dark Knight, Tell No One, Tropic Thunder and The Edge of Heaven all come to mind), the sheer volume of losers on display these past four months is really quite staggering. While the studios made money, so much of what was released bordered on the unwatchable, train wrecks like Speed Racer, Meet Dave, Step Brothers, Mamma Mia! and You Don’t Mess with the Zohan helping make it one of the more painful Summers in recent memory.

Here’s hoping all that changes starting today. The following is a list of some of the Fall’s most notable releases and events. All dates are subject to change, so keep that in mind when trying to plan your movie-going calendar.

September 12

Another Gay Sequel: Gays Gone Wild – Director Todd Stephens follows up his minor 2006 cult hit Another Gay Movie sending his cadre of boys deep into the heart of Spring Break in Fort Lauderdale. That yawning you hear is me not caring.

George Clooney and Tilda Swinton reconnect in Focus Features' Burn After Reading

Burn After Reading – The Coens return with a dark political satire featuring a whole mess of movie stars to lengthy to list here. It’s nasty stuff, but it’s also almost completely irresistible, with Brad Pitt stealing the show with a comic tour de force unlike anything he’s ever done before.

Cthulhu – Locally made thriller about a gay professor returning to his island home after the death of his mother inspired by the works of H.P. Lovecraft. Film doesn’t make a lick of sense but it’s also impossible to take your eyes off of it. Make of that what you will.

In Search of a Midnight Kiss – Fantastic independent winner starting September off with a bang. When they say they don’t make romantic dramas and comedies like they used to, this is just the kind of movie they're talking about when making such statements.

Righteous Kill – DeNiro and Pacino share the screen for the first time since Michael Mann’s 1995 winner Heat. Considering 88 Minutes filmmaker Jon Avnet is at the helm, forgive me if I’m not anticipating something even close to on par with that thrilling crime noir classic.

The Women – Writer and director Diane English has been trying for almost two decades to remake the 1939 George Cukor classic, and while the dialogue and performances are sharper and more fine-tuned than anything found in Sex and the City, it also feels like it’s hitting theaters about twenty years too late.

September 19

Battle in Seattle – The opening night film at this year’s Seattle International Film Festival finally gets a release. For those of us who lived through it, however, something tells me this highly fictionalized take on the WTO Riots just isn’t going to compare.

Ghost Town – The fantastically talented Ricky Gervais finally gets his own staring vehicle as a near-death survivor who suddenly finds himself able to talk with the deceased. Silly premise, but I’m thinking the star is going to knock this one out of the park all the same.

Igor – CGI animated family comedy with a decidedly warped Tim Burton-esque point of view featuring the voices of John Cusack, Steve Buscemi, John Cleese, Eddie Izzard, Sean Hayes, Molly Shannon, Jay Leno and Jennifer Coolidge.

Lakeview Terrace – Police Officer Samuel L. Jackson doesn’t like new neighbors Patrick Wilson and Kerry Washington and proceeds to use all the tricks in the book to terrorize them into moving. Standard premise, but with director Neil LaBute (In the Company of Men) at the helm something tells me this one will be anything but ordinary.

My Best Friend’s Girl – Dane Cook, Kate Hudson, Jason Biggs and Alec Baldwin in another gross-out romantic nobody asked for yet far too many people are probably going to see. Let’s just hope it’s not another Good Luck Chuck.

Religulous – Bill Maher and Borat director Larry Charles take aim at religion.

September 26

Choke – Director and actor Clark Gregg proves Chuck Palahniuk’s sensationalistic novel isn’t anywhere near as unfilmable as many would have had you believe. Sam Rockwell, maybe the most underrated actor working today, delivers one of his finest performances in this perverse (and perversely funny) drama of sexual dysfunction and parental neglect.

The Duchess – Keira Knightley is Georgiana Cavendish (Knightley), an 18th century aristocrat who endured a difficult marriage to the Duke of Devonshire (Ralph Fiennes). Just by looking at the trailer I guarantee an Oscar nod for the costumes. Other than that, your guess is as good as mine.

Eagle Eye – North by Northwest meets Enemy of the State meets Marathon man as Disturbia teammates director D.J. Caruso and star Shia LaBeouf reunite for a thriller of mistaken identity and national security.

Shia LaBeouf is on the run in DreamWorks' Eagle Eye

Miracle at St. Anna – Director Spike Lee’s much-talked about WWII epic of a Black platoon’s saga behind enemy lines protecting a Tuscan village. Based on a true story, this film is getting as much press for Lee’s comments about Clint Eastwood as it is for the actual feature itself, which (to my mind at least) isn’t a very good sign.

Nights in Rodanthe – The Good News: I’m pleased as punch Diane Lane and Richard Gere are working together again for the first time since Unfaithful. The Bad News: The movie is based on a novel by Nicholas Sparks, author of The Notebook, one of the more putrid and completely horrific love stories of the past decade.

October 3

Beverly Hills Chihuahua – Disney brings families an adventure full of cute talking Chihuahuas with vocal work from Drew Barrymore and live performances by Jamie Lee Curtis and Piper Perabo. If the film is as bad as the trailers, then this one is going to be torture.

The Express – Dennis Quaid is The Coach and Rob Brown is The Star Recruit in this football melodrama based on the life of Syracuse University sensation Ernie Davis, the first black athlete to win the Heisman Trophy.

Flash of Genius – Greg Kinnear as inventor Robert Kearns, the man who in patented the intermittent windshield wiper only to have it stolen from him by the American automotive industry. Not a whole lot to say here other than I hope it ends up being more interesting then that description makes it sound.

October 10

Body of Lies – Ridley Scott. Russell Crowe. Leonardo DiCaprio. The Departed scribe William Monahan. If that’s not enough to get you people excited I’m not sure what else would be.

City of Ember – Bill Murray, Tim Robbins, Saoirse Ronan and Harry Treadaway star in this adaptation of Jeanne DuPrau’s adored novel. Director Gil Kenan made the marvelous Monster House, and that alone is enough to get me excited about what this one might have to offer.

Bill Murray takes charge in Fox/Walden's City of Ember

Happy-Go-Lucky – Acclaimed director Mike Leigh (Secrets & Lies, Topsy-Turvy) returns with a new comedy about a cheery London schoolteacher whose optimism tends to annoy those around her

How to Lose Friends & Alienate People – Simon Pegg, Kirstin Dunst and Jeff Bridges in a new comedy based on the memoir of former Vanity Fair contributor Toby Jones. If it’s half as good as the trailer suggest it could be, this could be the movie that finally makes Hot Fuzz standout Pegg a bona fide star.

Quarantine – Another Cloverfield/Blair Witch Project/Diary of the Dead wannabe about a film crew covering a firefighting unit stuck inside a dilapidated apartment building after CDC quarantine.

RocknRolla – Filmmaker Guy Ritchie (Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels) looks to get his crime caper mojo back with this dark thriller starring rock’em sock’em cast including Gerard Butler, Thandie Newton, Idris Elba, Jeremy Piven, Ludacris, Karel Roden and Tom Wilkinson.

October 17

Max Payne – Another movie based on a video game, this one starring Mark Walhberg and directed by John Moore (Flight of the Phoenix). I admit to not caring a single solitary bit.

Morning Light – Disney documentary about fifteen young sailors chosen for a six-month training in order to compete in one of the most challenging open-ocean sailing races in the world.

Rachel Getting Married – Highly anticipated melodrama from Silence of the Lambs and Something Wild director Jonathan Demme that’s currently wowing audiences at the Toronto Film Festival. Oscar buzz surrounds Anne Hathaway’s performance as a troubled daughter battling addiction returning home for her sister’s nuptials.

The Secret Life of Bees – Queen Latifah, Dakota Fanning and Oscar-darling Jennifer Hudson star in this adaptation of Sue Monk Kidd’s highly adored novel set in the Deep South circa 1964 about two runaways looking for help from a cadre of beekeeping sisters.

Sex Drive – High School teen sex road trip comedy. Tell me again why I’m supposed to be interested?

W. – Oliver Stone takes on George W. Bush. Hold on to your hats because this one might just get a little wild.

What Just Happened – DeNiro again, this time re-teaming with Wag the Dog impresario Barry Levinson on an adaptation of Hollywood mogul Art Linson’s best-selling book. Needless to say, after rather disastrous screenings at Sundance and Cannes, I can’t say my hopes are running very high.

October 24

Changeling – Clint Eastwood’s latest featuring Angelina Jolie as a 1920’s mother certain her newly found son isn’t her child. Easily one of the Fall’s most highly anticipated entries, I want to see this so badly I could almost scream.

Angelina Jolie searches for answers in Universal Pictures' Changeling

Passengers – Hathaway again, this time as a grief counselor who gets way too close to her patients after a horrific plane crash.

Pride and Glory – Much-delayed yet highly buzzed drama starring Edward Norton and Colin Farrell as two best friends and cops investigating a series of killings from opposite ends. A victim of the feuding between New Line and Warner Bros., this one finally gets a release date. Here’s hoping it sticks.

Saw V – What is there to say? If you loved parts II, III and IV than this one is probably for you, the rest of us will just stay home and do something a bit more worthwhile, like watch infomercials.

October 31

The Haunting of Molly Hartley – Teen thriller starring “Gossip Girl” stalwart Chace Crawford about a New Girl (Haley Bennett) with a Mysterious Past. Oooooooooooooooooooooo – scary. To quote another famous teen movie heroine, as if.

The Other End of the Line – A telemarketer (Sara Foster) working in India falls in love with the voice of one of her callers (Jesse Metcalfe) living in San Francisco. She travels there to meet him and, somehow, doesn’t get arrested for stalking.

Zack and Miri Make a Porno – Kevin Smith (Clerks) comedy about two lovable losers and roommates (Seth Rogan and Elizabeth Banks) who decide to make a low budget porno with some of their friends in order to pay their bills.

November 7

Killshot – Director John Madden (Shakespeare in Love) takes on Elmore Leonard (Get Shorty) in this adaptation of one of the author’s most celebrated crime novels.

Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa – Sequel to the surprise 2005 smash finds all the characters from the original (including those nefarious penguins) accidentally crash-landing in Africa where they discover what being in The Wild really means.

The gang goes deeper into the wild in DreamWorks' Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa

Soul Men – The late Bernie Mac and Samuel L. Jackson as a pair of former soul singers reuniting after twenty years for a performance at the Apollo Theater in memory of their recently deceased former band mate. In case that’s not depressing sounding enough, Isaac Hayes, who died one day before Mac, co-stars. 

November 14

Assassination of a High School President – Comparisons to teenage noir sensation Brick on the festival circuit make this comedy-thriller about missing SAT tests and a curvaceous femme fatale a must-see right out of the gate.

Quantum of Solace – Bond is back, pour the martinis, rev up the Aston Martin and queue the Monty Norman theme music.

Role Models – Comedy about energy drink reps (Paul Rudd and Seann William Scott) taking part in a Big Brother-type mentoring program.

November 21

Bolt – Disney animated comedy about a television star pooch who doesn’t realize he’s really not a superhero (and no, this is not a Pixar release so please don’t ask).

The Soloist – Director Joe Wright follows up his instant classic Atonement with a based-on-fact drama about a Los Angeles reporter (Robert Downey, Jr.) and the musical Julliard-trained prodigy (Jamie Foxx) he discovers living on Skid Row.

Twilight – The love story of Forks, WA High School student Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) and the mysterious vampire Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) will have them lined up around the block, just ask every single 13-year-old girl on the face of the entire frickin’ planet.

November 26

Australia – Epic romance set against the backdrop of WWII as a struggling farmer (Nicole Kidman) tries to take her cattle cross-country before the Japanese attack the Sydney harbor, enlisting a rugged adventurer (Hugh Jackman) to assist her in the task.

Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman tame a continent in 20th Century Fox's Australia

Four Christmases – Reese Witherspoon and Vince Vaughn are a happily married couple whose relationship is put to the test after they forced to spend Christmas visiting all four of their families over the course of a single Yule-filled day.

Milk – Director Gus Van Sant (Good Will Hunting, My Own Private Idaho) returns to narrative filmmaking with this chronicle of Harvey Milk’s (Sean Penn) political ascent to become San Francisco’s first openly gay city supervisor in 1977 and the sudden fall which would lead to his tragic assassination.

The Road – Viggo Mortensen stars in this adaptation of author Cormac McCarthy’s (No Country for Old Men) celebrated post-apocalyptic novel. Easily one of the most fascinating books I’ve read in the last few years, this is one movie I admit to be eagerly anticipating.

Slumdog Millionaire – Danny Boyle’s (Sunshine, Trainspotting) highly acclaimed feel-good drama has been picking up accolades all across the festival circuit from Telluride to Venice to Toronto, and something tells me that if Fox Searchlight has their way this one might just hit the Little Miss Sunshine like jackpot.

Transporter 3 – Because you can never keep a good driver down, B-movie action ace Jason Statham returns as kick-butt courier Frank Martin. Expect fast cars, brutal fisticuffs, exploding gunfire and lots of naked bodies (including – apparently – the star’s)

- Portions of this article reprinted courtesy of the SGN in Seattle