2009 Summer Movie Preview
Hollywood Revs Up for Another Hot Time at Multiplex

I’m finding it difficult to get worked over this Summer at the multiplex. Yes, yes, I know, J.J. Abrams has his big budget reboot of Star Trek opening today, and anytime Pixar has a new movie coming out (in this case that would be Up!, opening May 29) there is certainly reason to get excited. But for some reason I’m just not feeling the love, the next four months of warm weather entertainment by and large doing very little to get my temperature to rise.

A scene from Disney/Pixar's Up!

There are exceptions, of course. I’ve already mentioned two (although, sadly, I’ve seen that first one and I can’t say I loved it), but filmmakers as diverse as Frances Ford Coppola (Tetro, June 19), Quentin Tarantino (Inglourious Basterds, Aug. 21), Sam Mendes (Away We Go, June 5), Michael Mann (Public Enemies, July 1), Jim Jarmusch (The Limits of Control, today), Stephen Frears (Cheri, June 26), Judd Apatow (Funny People, July 31) and Ang Lee (Taking Woodstock, Aug. 14) are all releasing new works as well. A person would have to be crazy not to be at least a little bit curious about how all of those are going to turn out, and if even only a third end up being worthwhile discovering that truth is still going to be a delicious adventure in and of itself.

By and large, however, on paper at least the rest of the major offerings leave a lot to be desired. Do we really need to see Michael Bay disappoint us once more with a bunch of stupid adolescent puerile comedy bogging down machine on machine warfare in Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (June 26)? Did anyone actually ask Ron Howard and Tom Hanks for Angels & Demons (May 15), a sequel to their profitable yet loathed religious thriller The Da Vinci Code? Are there actually people excited about seeing H2 or Final Destination: Death Trip 3D, a couple of horror sequels to played out franchises both strangely opening on the same day (Aug. 28)?

Okay, I realize I’m allowing myself to be more than a bit cynical here. Obviously, I’m probably going to have as much of a good time watching movies this Summer as anyone else. Heck, based on the fact that five of my 2008 top ten (WALL•E, The Dark Knight, Man on Wire, Tropic Thunder and The Edge of Heaven) all were released between May and August I’m just about sure of it.

But the simple fact is I’m getting tired of all the remakes (The Taking of Pelham 123, June 12), sequels (Terminator: Salvation, A Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian, both May 22), toy-based action epics (G.I. Joe: The Rise of the Cobra, Aug. 7) and family comedies (Imagine That, June 12 and G-Force, July 24) that look like they were made by a focus group and not by actual filmmakers. Heck, I can’t even get worked up about Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (July 15), the trailers for the sixth installment of J.K. Rowling’s popular series only reminding me we still have another two films to go before (the seventh and final chapter has been split in two) we can say goodbye to Hogwarts for good.

Not to worry, I’m sure this cynicism will dissipate faster than it took the Enterprise to warp halfway across the universe. It’s just the early Summer Movie blahs, and all it takes is one hot property filled with imagination, great acting and a wonderful storyline for it to disappear. What will said property be? Who can say, but here’s a list of some of the potential subjects.

Please keep in mind release dates are subject to change.

May 8

Goodbye Solo – Senegalese cab driver befriends a Southern redneck changing both of their lives forever. Missed the press screening, but despite the horrific sounding synopsis this film festival favorite is supposedly a highly moving winner.

Little Ashes – Twilight heartthrob Robert Pattinson transforms into Salvador Dali. Seriously. I’m not kidding. There aren’t any typos in that description. Promise. In other news, a chorus of teenage girls all, “Ewwwwww!” all at the same time.

Outrage – Outstanding documentary about closeted LGBT politicians who fight to approve anti-gay legislation. The description pretty much speaks for itself.

Next Day Air – It’s like an ethnic version of True Romance, only without the romance (or the laughs, or the suspense, or anything else to make it even remotely relevant).

Star Trek – J.J. Abrams reboots Gene Roddenberry’s sci-fi favorite for a new generation, going back to Kirk, Spock and the rest of the gang’s beginning resetting the entire timeline in the process. It’s getting a lot of love, not all of it warranted, but it certainly offers enough spectacle to please almost everyone whether their familiar with the property or not.

May 15

Angels & Demons – Ron Howard and Tom Hanks try a second time to give a controversial Dan Brown novel a makeover. Hopefully this time they manage to make it interesting, suspenseful, exciting and thought-provoking. Either that or short, at least then my butt won’t get so tired sitting there enduring it.

The Brothers Bloom – Long-delayed con artist comedy with Rachel Weisz, Mark Ruffalo and Adrian Brody directed by Brick wunderkind Rian Johnson. Think Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, only without the killer climactic payoff.

Enlighten Up! – A skeptic takes a journey into the world of yoga and manages to stretch his understanding into positions he could only previously dream of.

Summer Hours – French family drama with Juliette Binoche directed by the great Olivier Assayas (Irma Vep) that I know very little about, but what I do know is more than enough to get me excited to see it. This has the potential to be one of Summer’s best bets.

May 21 – June 14

The 35^th Annual Seattle International Film Festival – The largest film festival in North America returns opening with the spectacularly funny In the Loop and closes 24 days later with OSS 117 - Lost in Rio. In-between will be almost 400 examples of pure international movie-going bliss. We’ll be covering all the wonderfulness start to finish once again this year starting with opening night. Keep checking back for details.

May 22

Dance Flick – The Wayans Brothers strike again, this time going the Scary Movie route to try and eviscerate every teen dancing movie of the last decade. My guess is, as per their last few efforts, every funny scene has already been featured in the trailer. You’ve been warned.

Easy Virtue – Adventure of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert director Stephan Elliot makes a triumphant, much-anticipated return with this adaptation of the Oscar Wilde play. Kristin Scott Thomas, Colin Firth and a surprising Jessica Beil are absolutely magnetic in this funny and touching winner well worth seeking out.

The Girlfriend Experience – Steven Soderbergh goes back to his experimental roots making a low-tech romantic comedy about a high-priced escort portrayed by well-known porn star Sasha Grey. If I say I hope the film doesn’t blow do you think someone will censor me?

A Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian – Ben Stiller and company return for another CGI foray into the mysterious late night world of artistic anthropology. The addition of Amy Adams as Amelia Earhart admittedly has me intrigued, but as little as I liked the first one I can’t say I’m doing cartwheels over this new adventure.

Terminator: Salvation – I love the fact that Christian Bale is in this. Ditto Bryce Dallas Howard. But the director is McG? Really? The guy who made Charlie’s Angels is taking on James Cameron? Am I the only one who thinks that’s just way beyond weird?

May 29

Departures – The surprise winner of the Academy Award for Best Foreign Film finally makes its debut and I couldn’t be more curious to find out whether or not it actually deserved the honor.

Drag Me To Hell – Sam Raimi returns to his Evil Dead roots only he forgoes the R-rating because Universal Studios didn’t want him to have one. So, that means no murderous trees, gratuitous nudity, severed hands or people being split in two by a chainsaw. But the word “groovy” might be used. Maybe.

Up! – Pixar’s latest creation is about an old man who ties balloons to his house and floats away on a grand adventure. I know how it sounds, but did you really think movies about race cars, a wannabe rat chef or an almost silent robot were going to be any good, either?

June 5

Away We Go – Outstanding comedy-drama hybrid with John Krasinski and Maya Rudolph that’s as funny and as moving as anything I’m likely to see this year. It also shows the usually cynical Sam Mendes has a heart, something I’d have never guessed after watching Revolutionary Road, American Beauty or Road to Perdition.

Downloading Nancy – Intriguing looking drama with Maria Bello and Jason Patric about an unhappily married woman who ends up falling in love with the guy she hires over the internet to kill her.

The Hangover – Lowbrow R-rated comedy from the director of Old School about a bachelor party that goes so wrong the chances it stays in Vegas are between slim and none.

Land of the Lost – Big budget Will Ferrell remake of the cheesy television series of the same name, it’s got Sleestacks so it can’t be all-bad (not that I’m holding my breath).

June 12

Food, Inc – Documentary on the food industry sure to give everyone who watches it an extreme case of indigestion. You’ll never look at a Big Mac the same ever again.

Imagine That – Eddie Murphy + Family Comedy = four words that should never be used in the same sentence (and I do mean, especially after Meet Dave and Daddy Day Care, never).

Moon – Sam Rockwell in a tour de force performance as a solitary maintenance worker on the moon at the end of a three-year contract who discovers not all is as it seems to be. Intelligent science fiction told with flair and style, one of the Summer’s more intriguing curiosities.

The Taking of Pelham 123 – Tony Scott reunites with Denzel Washington to remake the esteemed Walter Matthau/Robert Shaw 1974 (John Travolta takes the latter’s role) thriller. It’s probably going to be fine as I’ve liked just about everything the pair has done previously. I just don’t see the point. The original is a classic for good reason, after all, and there’s pretty much no way this one can measure up.

Tetro – Frances Ford Coppola follows up his odd, esoteric Youth Without Youth starring Tim Roth with another odd, esoteric drama this time starring Vincent Gallo. Notice a pattern?

June 19

The Proposal – Sandra Bullock returns to making romantic comedies and she’s brought Ryan Reynolds along with her. I know I should be shaking in my Nine Wests over the thought of seeing this one, but for some reason I’m kind of intrigued. What can I say? Sometimes I’m a pushover.

Whatever Works – Larry David and Evan Rachel Wood in a May-December romance from the prolific pen of Woody Allen. Doesn’t look like much, but I thought the same about Vicky Cristina Barcelona, and I’ve watched that one a good half-dozen times now so I’m making sure to check this one out for sure.

Year One – Harold Ramis (Groundhog Day) and Judd Apatow (Knocked Up) join forces to create a silly Neanderthal comedy starring Jack Black and Michael Cera that’s about, well, Neanderthals.

June 24

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen – I have nothing to say here. The first featured slam-bang action and horribly idiotic comedy. My fear, sensational trailers aside, is that we are in store for much of the same.

June 26

Cheri – Stephen Frears (The Queen) goes the Dangerous Liaisons route with Michelle Pfeiffer and Kathy Bates. Oscar buzz is high on this one, especially for Pfeiffer. This one looks like a keeper.

The Hurt Locker – Intense, gut-wrenching thriller from director Kathryn Bigelow (Strange Days, Point Break) about an Army bomb disposal team in Baghdad. One of the most kinetically exhausting films I maybe have ever seen.

Surveillance – Jennifer Chambers Lynch (Boxing Helena) offers up Rashomon-like thriller about FBI agents tracking a killer whose would-be-victims all have wildly differing stories. Julia Ormond and Bill Pullman star.

July 1

Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs – I loved the first Ice Age movie, couldn’t stand the second one. Not sure what to make of this third effort, although seeing that Scrat (the half rat-half chipmunk constantly failing to get an acorn) gets himself a love interest I might have to see it anyhow. For some reason, I just love that silly creature. He totally makes me laugh.

Public Enemies –Michael Mann (Heat, The Last of the Mohicans) takes on the birth of the FBI with Johnny Depp as John Dillinger, the notorious bank robber, and Christian Bale as Melvin Purvis, the agent who pursued him. Oscar-winner Marion Cotillard also stars.

July 3

I Hate Valentine's Day – Nia Vardalos (My Big Fat Greek Wedding) inflicts a new romantic comedy on an unsuspecting world. Hopefully, this time around no one will get the bright idea to make a bad television show out of it.

July 10

Brüno – In case anyone thought Borat was a fluke, Sacha Baron Cohen and Larry Charles reunite to bring another of the comedian’s popular characters to the big screen. Be afraid (and ready to laugh). Be very afraid (and very, very ready to laugh).

Humpday – Seattle produced comedy inspired by a contest in The Stranger, this is one film that takes the idea of doing anything for a buck to an entirely new (and decidedly naked) level.

I Love You, Beth Cooper – A valedictorian proclaims his love for the hottest girl in school during his commencement speech, only to have her show up on his doorstep that very night. Chris Columbus’ first flat-out comedy since 1995’s Nine Months, not that this statement should be construed as anything remotely positive.

July 15

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince – The sixth chapter of the life and times of the Boy Who Lived finally hits theater screens after an eight month delay. Wake me when it’s over.

July 17

(500) Days of Summer – Comedy about a woman (Zooey Deschanel) who doesn’t believe in the existence of love and the young man (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) who becomes infatuated with her. Supposedly the stand-out attraction at the 2009 Sundance Film Festival, this is one of my picks as one of the most anticipated films of the entire Summer.

July 25

All Good Things – Documentarian Andrew Jarecki (Capturing the Friedmans) makes his narrative feature debut with this thriller starring Ryan Gosling, Kirsten Dunst, Frank Langella and Kristen Wiig.

G-Force – Disney action-comedy about a team of crime-fighting guinea pigs. Yes, you heard right. Crime. Fighting. Guinea. Pigs.

In the Loop – Spectacular British comedy about the political behind-the-scenes machinations that led the United States and The United Kingdom into war in Iraq. One of the funniest, most laugh-out-loud things I’ve seen in years. One of 2009’s best films.

The Orphan – Creepy kid thriller with Vera Farmiga and Peter Sarsgaard. While extremely familiar looking, the trailer is still totally killer (pun intended).

The Ugly Truth - Katherine Heigl and Gerard Butler in a romantic comedy from Legally Blonde director Robert Luketic. I’ll see it, mainly because she’s fairly delightful and he’s freakishly sexy, but I can’t say I’m holding too much in the way of hope it will be anything special. I’d love to be proven wrong, however. That would be just fantastic.

July 31

Adam – Quirky looking comedy about an autistic man with an affinity for the stars who befriends his new next-door neighbor with emotional consequences. Rose Byrne and Hugh Dancy star.

Aliens in the Attic – Disney darling Ashley Tisdale gets the chance to be an above-the-title star in this family action comedy about a group of kids who must save their vacation home from a group of invaders who are literally out of this world.

The Cove – Investigative documentary epic about a dolphin trainer going under the waves to infiltrate a cove near Taijii, Japan exposing abuse and malfeasance so damning it almost causes his death.

Funny People – Judd Apatow rounds up his usual list of suspects (Seth Rogen, Michael Cera, Jonah Hill, Leslie Mann) goes the James L. Brooks (Broadcast News) route with this dramatic comedy about a disparate group of people who come together to serve their various ends when they discover a popular comedian (Adam Sandler) is dying of cancer.

August 7

G.I. Joe: The Rise of the Cobra – Another Summer movie based on a toy line, this one is directed by Stephen Sommers and if it’s anything like The Mummy or Van Helsing I think I might slit my wrists. A girl can only take so much brainless chaotic tedium that looks like it flew right out of a bad video game, after all, and in my opinion that seems like all this guy’s good for.

Julie & Julia – Doubt stars Meryl Streep and Amy Adams reunite, albeit not in the same scenes, in this wonderful looking comedy about television chef Julia Child and the modern day woman who becomes inspired by her.

Shorts – Robert Rodriguez (Spy Kids, Sin City) goes back to the kid-friendly well in this fantasy about a group of small town kids who discover a rock with the power of granting wishes. You can just imagine what mayhem and madness breaks out next.

When in Rome – Ghost Rider and Daredevil director Mark Steven Johnson flips his own script to make a romantic comedy starring “Veronica Mars” herself Kristen Bell. That’s fine with me, the further the way this guy gets from the comic book the better it is for all of us.

August 14

Bandslam - Vanessa Hudgens and Lisa Kudrow star in this coming of age tale about a teenager putting together a rock band only to face ridicule until the group of them deicide to compete in a heated battle of the bands competition.

District 9 – Peter Jackson protégé Neill Blomkamp brings forth a science fiction epic about an alien race forced to live in slum-like conditions by the government. The trailer is provocative, to say the least. Could be this year’s answer to Cloverfield.

Paper Heart – Intriguing faux documentary about a young woman (Charlyne Yi) who decides to film her conversations talking to people about love and relationships who inadvertently starts a romance of her own with movie star Michael Cera. If this works, it will be remarkable. If it doesn’t, the precocious pain could be beyond anything else this year. I can’t wait to find out which it will be.

The Perfect Getaway – It’s the old, “I went on vacation with my girlfriend to a perfect island getaway only to discover someone is murdering the couples on the island and doing something with the remains,” storyline. Director David Twohy (Pitch Black) looks to add his own personal spin, but if this is anything more than a passably silly B-movie I’ll be happily surprised.

Taking Woodstock – Visionary director Ang Lee (Brokeback Mountain, The Ice Storm) crafts a comedy about the behind-the-scenes actions that led to arguably the greatest, most talked about musical celebration of the second half of the 20^th Century.

The Time Traveler’s Wife – Much delayed (and re-shot) adaptation of Audrey Niffenegger’s popular novel starring Eric Bana and Rachel McAdams finally has a release date it looks to actually to be trying to stick to. Granted, I’m not holding my breath.

August 21

Goose on the Loose! – Family comedy about a young boy and his talking goose. I’d make some sort of joke, but then someone will just tell me that Babe was good, so this one could be, too. I’m not necessarily agreeing, but it’s certainly an argument one has to take into consideration.

Inglourious Basterds – Quentin Tarantino returns with an exercise in WWII mayhem starring Brad Pitt, Diane Kruger and a cast of familiar crazies who will undoubtedly get their opportunities to chew the scenery. It premiers at the Cannes Film Festival in just a couple of weeks, so we’ll know the word on this long before this August release date.

Post Grad - Alexis Bledel stars in this comedy about a young woman who returns home from college only to discover her degree doesn’t guarantee her a job. Sounds stupid, but Carol Burnett plays her grandmother so it can’t be all bad.

August 28

The Boat that Rocked – Richard Curtis follows up Loved Actually with this 1960’s retro comedy about an illegal rock and roll radio station broadcasting from the North Sea. Never understood the fascination with that 2003 effort, but this one boasts an all-star cast that includes Kenneth Branagh, Nick Frost, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Gemma Arterton, Jack Davenport, Rhys Ifans, January Jones, Bill Nighy and Emma Thompson so I think I can handle getting whistled aboard.

Final Destination: Death Trip 3D – The fourth chapter of the popular horror franchise promises more gruesome killings only this time… they’re in 3D! Now, ask me if I care. Better, ask me if I think anyone else should.

H2 – I interviewed Rob Zombie before the release of his 2007 remake of John Carpenter’s classic Halloween and he said he’d never be involved with a sequel. Never say never, Rob. Never, say never.

-Portions of this article reprinted courtesy of the SGN in Seattle

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