I Didn’t Get It
I’m Not There – There is brilliance on display in Todd Haynes’ unusual and unique saga of the many faces of Bob Dylan, I just didn’t quite get what the point of it all was. Cate Blanchett really is brilliant, however, and some of the early scenes with Marcus Carl Franklin have refused to let me go. Still, I’ve seen it twice now and all I can say about the thing unfortunately is… I don’t get it.
Best Half of a Wannabe Epic Double Feature
Death Proof – Quentin Tarantino’s explosively exciting and stunning half of his and Robert Rodgriguez’s Grindhouse was one of the most delightfully entertaining films of the entire year. Too bad it was part of one of the more fatalistically flawed (if admittedly refreshingly risky) big budget projects of the entire year.
Unforgettable Moments
Daniel Plainview and Eli Sunday going head-to-head on a bowling alley in There Will Be Blood, an upside down flag in In the Valley of Elah, The Girl and The Guy walking the streets of Dublin with a Hoover in tow in Once, Princess Giselle realizing she can get angry in Enchanted, the grisly montage of falling bodies in Sweeney Todd, Edith Piaf taking the stage for the final time in La Vie en Rose, a man’s face getting splattered by acid in Alien versus Predator: Requiem, a floating match in Wristcutters: A Love Story, the first arrival of the giant in Bridge to Terabithia, a chilling game of hide and seek in The Orphanage, a disheveled Pierce Brosnan tumbling down a mountainside in Seraphim Falls, the editor of the local paper’s demise in Hot Fuzz, the cheerleader on the trampoline in Eli Roth’s trailer section of Grindhouse, a beach in militaristic muddled boredom in Atonement, a jump through a window into chaos in The Bourne Ultimatum, Remy’s first attempt at cooking in Ratatouille, a man’s transformation into a giant sheep in Black Sheep
Best Overlooked Performances
Chris Cooper in Breach, The aforementioned Adam Sandler in Reign Over Me, Michelle Pfieffer in Stardust, Don Cheadle and Chjwetel Ejiofor in Talk to Me, Tabu in The Namesake, Naomi Watts and Armin Mueller-Stahl in Eastern Promises, Joseph Gordon-Levitt in The Lookout, Steve Zahn in Rescue Dawn, Parker Posey in Broken English and Fay Grim, Pierce Brosnan and Liam Neeson in Seraphim Falls, Steve Buscemi in Delirious, Sienna Miller in Interview, Irrfan Khan in A Mighty Heart, Patrick Fugit in Wristcutters: A Love Story, Mark Ruffalo and Joaquin Phoenix in Reservation Road, Matthew MacFayden in Death at a Funeral, Dermot Mulroney in Gracie, Justin Timberlake in Alpha Dog, Will Smith in I Am Legend, Nicole Kidman and Jennifer Jason Leigh in Margot at the Wedding, Marc Anthony in El Cantante, Sigourney Weaver in The TV Set, Jamel Debbouze in Angel-A
Pierce Brosnan and Liam Neeson in Samuel Goldwyn Films' Seraphim Falls
Best Performance in a Lost Cause
Laura Linney in The Nanny Diaries, Malin Ackerman in The Heartbreak Kid, Cate Blanchett and Abbie Carnish in Elizabeth: The Golden Age, Meryl Streep in Lions for Lambs, James McAvoy in Evening, Emma Roberts in Nancy Drew
The "Huh?" Awards
Richard Kelly's apocalyptic comedy/drama/musical/thriller/action/satire Southland Tales gets a nod in this category, as does Noah Baumbach's brilliantly acted if curiously distasteful Margot at the Wedding. I could say more about Todd Haynes' I'm Not There (but what would be the point), while Guy Ritchie's Revolver needed a whole team of supposed mental health "experts" to try and explain it's nonsensical plot. Finally, why in the world would you call your film The Last Mimzy? What the heck is a "mimzy?" Does anyone know? I sure don't and, judging by the anemic box office, neither did audiences.
Already Forgotten
Transformers and 300 - It suddenly occurs to me I haven't said a single gosh darn thing about the two biggest non-sequel hits of the year. I'm not entirely sure what that says about either of them, but to my mind it can't exactly be good.
"Do you not remember us!?" Gerard Butler in Warner Bros.' 300
Dubious Achievements
Lindsay Lohan getting bitched out in public by both her Georgia Rule producer James G. Robinson and her legendary costar Jane Fonda, Jessica Simpson’s Working Girl remake Blonde Ambition opening to $400 per screen in Texas, John Lassiter throwing a juvenile hissy fit over whether or not Robert Zemeckis’ Beowulf qualifies as animation, 20th Century Fox refusing to play the short film Hotel Chevalier before The Darjeeling Limited before it was far too late to help at the box office, Christian Conservatives claiming victory over the domestic box office failure of The Golden Compass, Eli Roth ranting that internet bootlegging was why Hostel: Part II was a disaster, Robin Williams’ facial hair in August Rush
Best Lines
- “Call it,” Anton Chigurh in No Country for Old Men
- “Well, I wouldn't argue that it wasn't a no holds barred, adrenaline fueled thrill ride. But, there is no way you can perpetrate that amount of carnage and mayhem and not incur a considerable amount of paperwork,” Nicolas Angel in Hot Fuzz
- “You should've gone to China, you know, 'cause I hear they give away babies like free iPods,” Juno MacGuff in Juno
- “I wanted the pretty girls to come up and say, ‘Hi, I see that you're good at Centipede,’” Walter Day in King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters
- “McLovin? What kind of a stupid name is that, Fogell? What, are you trying to be an Irish R&B singer?” Evan in Superbad
- “I have great insight. I'd use it on myself only I don't have any problems,” Alex Fletcher in Music and Lyrics
- “My arm is complete again!” Sweeney Todd in Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
- “I have a competition in me; I want no one else to succeed. I hate most people. There are times when I I look at people and I see nothing worth liking,” Daniel Plainview in There Will Be Blood
- “Scientists are saying the future is going to be far more futuristic then they originally predicted,” Krysta Now in Southland Tales
- “The music is all around you, all you have to do is listen,” August Rush in August Rush
Harrison Ford, Steven Spielberg and Karen Allen return for another adventure in Paramount Pictures' Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Fifteen Reasons to Get Excited for 2008
The Dark Knight (July 18), Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (May 22), Australia (December tbd), Leatherheads (April 4), Righteous Kill (Fall tbd), Hancock (July 2), Body of Lies (Fall tbd), Cloverfield (Jan. 18), The Pineapple Express (Aug. 8), Valkyrie (Oct. 3), The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (Nov. 26), Revolutionary Road (Dec. 19), Iron Man (May 2), City of Men (Feb. 29), Wall-E (June 27), Untitled James Bond (Nov. 7)
- Portions of this article reprinted courtesy of the SGN in Seattle
[return to Page One]
