When a space shuttle explodes during reentry, the debris scatters an alien microbe across the globe. Humans infected by the microbe, which attacks and hijacks the brain during REM sleep, are transformed into emotionless, zombie-like creatures, their only purpose to further the spread of the infection.

One of the first victims is the ex-husband of D.C. psychiatrist Carol Bennell (Nicole Kidman), and he intends to infect both his ex-wife and their young son. In a desperate attempt to save her child, Bennell and her lover, Dr. Ben Driscoll (Daniel Craig), struggle to stay awake and develop a vaccine that will reverse the effects of the microscopic invaders.

CRITIQUE

If the plot of The Invasion sounds familiar, it’s because this is the fourth official cinematic adaptation of Jack Finney’s novel The Body Snatchers, which was previously turned into a classic film by Don Siegel in the 1950s, a pretty good one by Philip Kaufman in the ‘70s, and a pointless one by Abel Ferrara in the ‘90s (simply titled Body Snatchers).

This latest version--which marks the Hollywood directing debut of Oliver Hirschbiegel, best known for his Hitler drama The Downfall--may very well be the worst yet. Alternately boring and stupid, it seems programmed to disappoint every possible audience. Those looking for a moody thriller will be turned off by the dunderheaded action scenes, and those looking for sci-fi action and horror will be annoyed by the long, talky stretches during which practically nothing happens.

Originally scheduled for release in the summer of 2006, The Invasion was pushed back after negative response from the studio and preview audiences. (To give you an idea of just how long this thing’s been kicking around, Craig was in the middle of filming when he learned he’d been chosen to be the new Bond.)

I guess no one at the studio had bothered to read the script (which is credited to David Kajganich), because apparently they were expecting an action-packed blockbuster; what they were initially shown was instead what you might expect from a genre retooling helmed by a German director best known for art-house fare.

Producer Joel Silver, unable to come to terms with Hirschbiegel, eventually gave the director a pink slip and brought in the Wachowski Brothers to write new scenes; James McTeigue, director of V for Vendetta, was hired to shoot the new material, filming of which began in early 2007. (Word of all this trouble initially hit after Kidman suffered an on-set injury during the reshoots.)

Such problems might not have caused much of a stir back in the old days, but given just how quickly information is now disseminated, it didn’t take long for people to conclude that The Invasion was a disaster in the making. And when it finally opened in August of 2007, it practically disappeared without a trace, quickly becoming one of the year’s biggest flops. (It’s likely Warner Bros. would have lost less money had they simply released Hirschbiegel’s original cut, as the reshoots were pretty pricey.)

Here’s a simple rule-of-thumb for determining who did what here: Hirschbiegel shot all of the boring stuff, while the Wachowskis and McTeigue are responsible for all of the stupid stuff. I’d say roughly two-thirds of the movie is the Hirschbiegel/Kajganich material, which largely consists of the infected ambling around, speaking in monotones, while Kidman and Craig talk about how they’re going to save her son and find a cure for those poor souls who are ambling around and speaking in monotones. (Hirschbiegel attempts to put a spin on the material by slowing the pacing down to a crawl and shooting everything from odd angles, but given just how obvious his attempts are, this only serves to make things worse.)

The other third, the Wachowski/McTeigue stuff, is little more than nonsensical chases scenes. They’re nonsensical because not only do they make absolutely no sense in the context of the story, they also don’t make sense as scenes unto themselves. Here’s the way most unfold: Kidman runs into some infected folks (many of them cops), they realize she’s uninfected, she runs or hops into a car someone has conveniently abandoned, they chase her, they eventually give up, she gets away.

There are four or five such chases scattered over the course of The Invasion, each sillier than the last. You can’t help but wonder how a D.C. psychiatrist who favors tight sweaters and skirts and high heels suddenly develops survival skills that would make Jason Bourne envious, or why the infected can’t catch a D.C. psychiatrist who’s running around in a tight sweater, skirt, and heels.

Better still, given that the infected retain their memories, why don’t the cops ever recall their training and use their radios, or set up a road block, pull their weapons, etc.? Like I said--it’s dumb. And dumb is the perfect way to describe the ending the Wachowskis cooked up, which I’d love to describe but won’t for fear of spoiling it for anyone who actually wishes to subject themselves to this turkey. Suffice to say, it left me shaking my head in bewilderment.

I think at this point it’s safe to say there’s no need for another take on this material. The first movie had a McCarthy Era subtext that only added to the tension, which the 1978 remake replaced with witty, timely jabs at self-absorption, consumerism, and New Age palaver. But as both this version and the Ferrara flick prove, there’s nowhere left to go. More importantly, it’s clear no one can improve on either the Siegel or Kaufman version (especially the former), so why even bother?

THE VIDEO

The 1.85:1/1080p transfer translates the movie’s visuals to the home video realm very well. The opening scenes feature warm, crisp colors, dominated by the orange, yellow, and golden hues of a D.C. fall. But as the story moves along, icy blues and grays begin to take over, with the palette becoming increasingly more desaturated as the climax approaches.

Both extremes are smoothly rendered. Black levels are solid throughout. As for the negatives, grain can be uneven at times (especially in some of the darker scenes), digital noise proves be an eyesore on a handful of occasions, and some of the shots from the reshoots are a bit flat when compared to the other material.

THE AUDIO

The Dolby TrueHD 5.1 audio track also performs its appointed task quite nicely. It’s a wonderfully atmospheric track, with ambient sounds expertly placed around the soundstage to create mood. The action scenes are very aggressive and immersive, with a low end that’s tight and punchy. My only problem with the track (and this is more a complaint than it is a flaw) is that the disparity between volumes in the quieter and louder moments is far too extreme.

As is the case with so many similar movies, you sometimes have to turn up the volume to hear the dialogue, only to later find yourself scrambling to crank it back down when the action kicks in. French and Spanish Dolby Digital Plus 5.1 tracks are also included. English, French, and Spanish subtitles are available.

THE EXTRAS

We’ve Been Snatched Before (18 minutes) is an attempt to make the movie smarter and more topical than it is. Various experts on infectious diseases discuss how viruses are spread, how they’ve evolved over the course of human history, and how global connectedness could give rise to a pandemic.

The following three featurettes were filmed during the initial half of production, so don’t expect any mention of the reshoots.

The Invasion: A New Story (3 minutes) features members of the cast and filmmakers (including Hirschbiegel, looking like he had no idea what he was in for) talking about inventive the script is and how great the movie will be.

The Invasion: On the Set (3 minutes) is a collection of behind-the-scenes footage.

The Invasion: Snatched (3 minutes) has the cast and crew blathering on about the movie’s relevance.

FINAL THOUGHT