Animated Tintin an Arduous Adventure
The hard part about writing a review of producer Peter Jackson and director Steven Spielberg’s adaptation of the classic Hergé comic book series The Adventures of Tintin is that have I have very little to say about it one way or the other. I didn’t like this motion capture CGI animated movie but I also didn’t dislike it, either. Instead an overwhelming feeling of “meh” washed its way over me as I sat in the theatre trying my best to get into the spirit of the darn thing, and while from a technical perspective Spielberg and Jackson’s are certainly impressive from a basic character-driven entertainment based one the pair somewhat shockingly drop the ball.
Captain Haddock and Tintin in The Adventures of Tintin © Paramount Pictures
Which, to put it rather bluntly, is really rather odd to say the least. Both filmmakers are gifted storytellers who have a great deal of experience working within this particular realm (Spielberg most obviously what with Raiders of the Lost Ark and its sequels sitting upon his resume), while screenwriters Steven Moffatt (“Sherlock”), Edgar Wright (Hot Fuzz, Shaun of the Dead) and Joe Cornish (Attack the Block) aren’t exactly slouches in that particular department, either. This movie should be an utter delight on every level, filled with chills, thrills, laughs, smarts and intriguing mysteries considering the pedigree of all involved, so even if the source material isn’t exactly big here in the U.S. that doesn’t mean expectations should have been lowered one iota.
Problem is, all the five of them have accomplished is to create an energetic video game of a motion picture, the majority of the visual theatrics feeling as if they’ve been pulled right out of the latest Uncharted game. There is no character development, none at all, while the mystery at the core of things is a relative throwaway no one seems to want to pay more than a passing interest in. It’s all gun fights and plane rides and swordplay and motorcycle chases and Crash! and Boom! and Bang! and, well, I’m sure you get the general idea.
Tintin (Jamie Bell) is introduced with relative matter-of-fact platitude, everyone proclaiming him this sensational investigative journalist even though the lad looks to be all of 12-years-old. But before we can see his acumen for solving complex mysteries for ourselves, the young man is suddenly gallivanting around the world looking for three models of a legendary sunken 30-gun Elizabethan-era warship called The Unicorn. Next thing we know he’s facing off against the villainous Rackham (Daniel Craig) who also has his sights set upon the Unicorn while also doing all he can to save the drunken Captain Haddock (Andy Serkis), a weary man of the sea whose hazy memories are key to discovering the sunken ship’s – and thusly the treasure within its hold – location.
There’s more, including the presence of a pair of inept Scotland Yard detectives named Thomson (Nick Frost) and Thompson (Simon Pegg) who are better at causing trouble than they are at solving crimes as well as a neat-freak pickpocket (Toby Jones) who inadvertently holds one of the key clues in the Unicorn mystery. But nothing matters all that much here, no one is particularly interesting in a way that holds your attention, the filmmakers so obsessed with speed and keeping the energy level at maximum any chance for character or plot development is close to nil.
Which maybe wouldn’t be that gigantic a problem if the mystery itself were interesting or of the character of Tintin resonated more, but what can you say when the former is an afterthought and the latter is overshadowed by his dog, Snowy? Not much, if you ask me, the whole thing a jumble of ideas and sequences culled from other, better motion pictures leaving our hero and his inebriated fellow travel stranded in a desert of bad ideas and trivial execution. Considering the talent level of all involved the fact the film is so rudimentary and inspired should be something of an embarrassment to the lot of them, and by the time the requisite set up for the sequel reared its ugly head I’d already given up on the idea that anything of even partial interest was going to happen.
At the same time, I can imagine nine-year-olds with short attention spans should get a massive kick out of the majority of this (although, the high volume of violent gunplay might give some parents pause), the film so intent on delivering an adrenaline-fueled kick there will undoubtedly be those who quickly become captivated by it. Additionally, while I’m not familiar with the source material I’d guess European audiences who are might get a lot more out of this than I did, identifying with the characters and their individual idiosyncrasies in a way that I never could.
But so what? I’m not nine-years-old and I’m not familiar with the Hergé comic, and as a standalone animated adventure to say The Adventures of Tintin was nothing more than a relatively benign and uninspiring disappointment is a big old understatement. Sure the animation is spectacular, yes Spielberg and Jackson have managed to solve the motion capture dead-eye conundrum, but be that as it may it’s all for not as far as my opinion is concerned. The final product is a hollow, utterly mechanical bore, and if this is the best the Lord of the Rings and Jurassic Park filmmaking duo can come up with maybe we’d be better off if they refrain from teaming up again in the future.
Film Rating: êê (out of 4)
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