Former Olympic ping-pong wunderkind Randy Daytona (Dan Folger, School for Scoundrels) is coaxed out of retirement by pugnacious FBI Agent Ernie Rodriquez (George Lopez, The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D) in order to infiltrate a secret underground tournament put on by international criminal Feng (Christopher Walken, Hairspray). Daytona has a past filled with insecurity and failure and he’s not at all sure he’s ready to be thrust back inside the sport maelstrom, but Rodriguez is insistent telling the overweight never-was has-been it’s his civic duty to go on this mission which could help save his country. 

Christopher Walken has a thing for ping pong in Rogue Pictures' Balls of Fury

I’m not going to go into any more plot than this. I mean, seriously, how much more do you need to know about the movie Balls of Fury? It is a comedy about ping-pong, it co-stars Christopher Walken in some of the most obnoxiously ludicrous costumes I’ve seen this year and it features an actor best known for roles I can’t remember even seeing. It follows the Dodgeball playbook but adds a James Bond twist, and if you’re the type of person who snickered repeatedly during the film’s trailers then you are probably the audience this thing is obviously looking for.

I am not that audience. While I admit there are some sublime moments which couldn’t help but make me laugh (the early prologue at the ’88 Olympics is practically priceless) overall I just kind of sat there is stupefied silence. You’re either the type who goes for this sort of thing or you’re the type who does not and in my case, nine times of ten at least, let it be known here, now and (probably) once again I am part of the latter group.

At the very least, a small part of me is impressed with the casting. Maggie Q (Live Free or Die Hard), James Hong (Blade Runner), Jason Scott Lee (Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story), Diedrich Bader (Napoleon Dynamite), Aisha Tyler (24), Terry Crews (Norbit), David Koechner (Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby),  Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa (The Last Emperor) and Robert Patrick (Terminator 2: Judgment Day) all make an appearance, some of them actually leaving an indelible enough impression the film won’t look like a total black mark on their collective resumes.

Unfortunately, I can’t work up enough enthusiasm one way or the other to say any more then I already have. Looking at co-writer and director Robert Ben Garant’s filmography (a list which includes Reno 911! Miami, The Pacifier and Herbie: Fully Loaded) Balls of Fury could almost be looked at as a step up for the guy. Pretty sad, if you ask me, but seeing as how a good portion of the audience found plenty to laugh about maybe my normal critical pings aren’t anything to pong home to mother about this time around.  

If the film got me to care I’m sure I could offer some sort of defense for my position. The thing is I don’t care, and seeing how that is the case I’m happy to say this review is over right… about… now.

Film Rating:  êê  (out of 4)

Additional Links

-  Balls of Fury Theatrical Trailer