When the farmer’s away the animals don’t just play, they also party and dance like there’s no tomorrow. At least, that’s the way it is in “Barnyard,” the new computer animated family comedy from those crazy cartoon fiends over at Nickelodeon. Sprung from the mind of Steve Oederkerk (“Bruce Almighty”), this is a world where the dog really is giving you the evil eye, he and the housecat waiting for you to leave so they can stand up on their hind legs and get back to their poker game.

Still, even in the fun-loving animal world rules must be obeyed and order must be kept. That’s Ben’s (Sam Elliott) job, the elder cow always keeping an eye on the sheep, chickens and other creatures living under his care. And that’s a must, for just outside the fence live the wolves, waiting menacingly for just the right moment to rip into the barnyard community and make the majority their dinner.

Ben’s adopted son Otis (Kevin James) lives semi-oblivious to this constant danger. He chooses to have fun instead of finishing his chores, a night frolicking with his friends Pip the mouse (Jeff Garcia), Freddy the ferret (Cam Clarke) and Pig the pig (Tino Insana) much more entertaining than sitting on a stump staring at the stars. But when tragedy strikes his dad and the coyotes kidnap some of the chickens, Otis must finally make the decision as to just what kind of man – err, cow – he’s really going to be.

A person doesn’t go into “Barnyard” expecting surprising twists and turns, they go hoping for some wit and imagination (not to mention some crackerjack animation). Unfortunately, this flick has precious little of either. Worse, the animation borderline stinks, and in a summer where Dreamworks (“Over the Hedge”), Pixar (“Cars”), Sony (“Monster House”) and Warner Bros. (“The Ant Bully”) have already set a very high bar that’s definitely not something I’m sure the folks at Paramount were aiming to achieve.

Unfortunately, that’s exactly what they have accomplished, the whole thing a disheveled amateurish mess completely devoid of any sort of technical accomplishment making it stand out. While I liked the whole Gary Larson The Far Side thing going on in regards to the antics and actions of the animals, that sort of visual irreverence can only take you so far without a decent script or spectacular animation to back them up.

And, truly, that script is a hack job unworthy of carrying the Nickelodeon logo. While I’m not a huge fan of everything the family-friendly television network has produced, a case can certainly be made some of the best, most well-written animated entertainment has sprung forth out of their aegis. In fact, “The Wild Thornberrys Movie” and “Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius” (which Oederkerk co-wrote) have two of the most fun-loving scripts full of interesting and creative characters you’ll ever find in a cartoon. Yet this one is a giant mess, plain and simple, the writer-director not seeming at all interested in crafting something adults might even theoretically take the time to enjoy right along with their children.

Still, it did keep the ten and under set at the screening I attended suitably entertained. They loved the animal antics, especially Pip’s constant cheekiness and the free-wheeling insanity of a disheveled mangy-haired character known only as Wild Mike. The morals the film imparts are relatively nice enough, too, and any picture that features Elliott singing the Tom Petty classic “I Won’t Back Down” can’t really be all bad. I also liked a brief montage of Otis making fun of a postal carrier, the surreal lunacy of the scene just screaming vintage Gary Larson at his most chaotically refined.

Really, though, for adults this thing is a total waste of time. Worse, with so many other, far superior animated films out there, while kids might have a good time with this one, I’m pretty sure they and their parents are going to be perfectly content to wait for the flick on DVD. And why not? There’s no reason to spend good, hard-earned dollars on seeing this one at the theater. No reason at all. In fact, seeing at all is probably a waste of time, the only decent thing to do in regards to “Barnyard” is to take it out to the back 40 and put it, and viewers, out of their collective misery.