Alyson Hannigan is a remarkably talented actress and blissfully funny comedian. From her phenomenally multifaceted work as the young witch Willow in Joss Whedon’s cult classic television show “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” to her time discussing band camp in “American Pie,” the actress has shown an ability to keep people entertained seemingly without any effort at all. Currently wowing audiences in the critically acclaimed sitcom “How I Met Your Mother,” the sky is the limit for Hannigan, and I can’t imagine a scenario whatsoever that would lead to her screwing it up.

Not screw it up, that is, if she can manage to not make any more movies like “Date Movie.” Unsurprisingly, this supposed comedy didn’t screen for critics before its release, the scent of disaster so strong studio heads at 20^th Century Fox knew how reviewers would to react to it. Yet Hannigan’s effervescent presence still managed to draw me to the theater. That is her power, her gift, and while I admire the actress for being able to do just that I just can’t help but wish she’d use her powers for good on better material than this.

Okay, I do realize scattershot comedies such as this (think “Airplane” or “The Naked Gun”) are an acquired taste, that their hit-or-miss nature isn’t going to please everyone equally, but even the worst of them contain a laugh, usually even two or three. Rarely are they complete disasters. Unfortunately, this movie is that rarity, and as disasters go this one might even be bad enough to make Ed Wood cringe in agony.

That statement is probably a bit unfair. “Date Movie” is nowhere near as heinous or inept as “Plan 9 From Outer Space” and “Glen or Glenda” were. It just isn’t funny, and for a comedy where the jokes are flying at you in bunches this is definitely a problem. Even the worst this genre has to offer (“National Lampoon’s Loaded Weapon 1,” “Naked Gun 33 1/3” or “Spy Hard”) have at least one funny bit, a single moment that tickles the funnybone and makes a person giggle out loud.

I didn’t laugh during “Date Movie.” Not once. Ever. And, somewhat surprisingly, neither did the friends sitting next to me, friends who usually eat this kind of thing up with a snow shovel. Even with the cavalcade of parodies hitting the screen; “Meet the Parents,” “Notting Hill,” “My Big Fat Greek Wedding,” “Hitch,” “Kill Bill,” “Extreme Makeover,” Paris Hilton commercials, “The Bachelor,” “My Best Friend’s Wedding” and “Say Anything” just to name a few; none of them connect at all. Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friendberg might be two members of the team who made “Scary Movie” (and its sequels) a success, but whatever touch they had there certainly didn’t translate to this.

The actors, talented performers like Jennifer Coolidge (“Legally Blonde”), Tony Cox (“Bad Santa”), Fred Willard (“Best in Show” and Eddie Griffin (“Undercover Brother”), throw themselves into all of this headfirst only to have both the jokes and Seltzer’s nonexistent direction do them in time after time. They do their best, sure, but in this case their best just isn’t good enough to save this monstrosity. Even a constipated amorous kitty and an emaciated corpse left to rot in an urn couldn’t generate a laugh, and who out there would’ve thought a pooping pussycat would prove to be the pathetic pits?

Somehow Hannigan makes it out off all of this virtually unscathed. If anything, I almost admire her even more, submerging herself fearlessly inside every single humiliating situation the filmmakers want to drown her in. But admiration can only go so far, and if Hannigan insists on continuing to make supercilious entertainments like this (and the two “Pie” sequels) all that good will is going to dissipate like a cool Summer’s breeze whistling across the Puget Sound waterfront. Pretty soon, people will stop taking her seriously and forget about the actress altogether, Hannigan then stuck playing second fiddle in movies and television shows even worse than this one.

Hopefully that day will never come. To make sure it doesn't, my suggestion where it comes to "Date Movie" is simple:Like a bad suitor in a cheap suit, turn around, walk away and don't think about it never, ever again.

Film Rating: ê  (out of 4)