Jonathan McQuarry (Ewan McGregor) is a trusted accountant who specializes in performing year-end audits for some of the biggest firms in New York. He’s in love with number, takes  comfort in their order and simplicity, and while his confidence with the opposite sex is pretty much nonexistent is ability to do his job to an absurdly high level is completely without question.

Michelle Williams and Ewan McGregor get close in 20th Century Fox's Deception

Things change the day sexually assertive high-powered corporate attorney Wyatt Bose (Hugh Jackman) enters Jonathan’s life. The two strike up an unusual yet quickly close friendship, but it isn’t until they accidentally swap cell phones the accountant realizes just how wild his new compatriot’s life really is. He’s a member of something called The List, a completely hush-hush sex club where successful men and women meet in ritzy hotel rooms for nights of nameless sensual passion going way beyond the norm.

The mild-mannered everyman enters this new world with unbridled enthusiasm, but after numerous nights of sinfully elegant intercourse he runs into a ravishing blonde-haired beauty (Michelle Williams) whom totally steals his heart. But nothing is as it seems, this man of numbers slowly in way over his head as Wyatt’s true intentions are shockingly revealed. Now Jonathan must make a devastating choice and it’s a decision which could haven ruinous repercussions destroying both his career and, more importantly, his blossoming new relationship.

The new thriller Deception has gone through more release dates and titles then I care to elaborate, all of its travails sending up so many red flags you almost wonder why 20^th Century Fox is even releasing the darn thing to theaters. The thing is, for a little while you almost have to wonder what all the negative fuss was about. Sure Mark Bomback’s (Live Free or Die Hard) derivative screenplay doesn’t exactly shock or surprise, but the opening act is handled with such snidely smarmy aplomb it’s a bit difficult to not get wrapped up in the deliciously carnal idiocy of all that’s taking place.

Then come the twists and turns, and suddenly I knew exactly why this stinker was dealing with so many troubles. This is a film that gets dumber and more illogical every step of the way. Things don’t happen because they’re organic to the material, they happen because it gives the filmmakers an excuse to show off some nifty camera moves, their exquisitely lit sets and the firmly chiseled frames of their two male movie stars. If anything, this film nearly rivals 88 Minutes for sheer stupidity, and by the time the central mysteries start speeding to their resolutions I was almost doubled over in fits of unintentional side-splitting laughter.

I really don’t even know where to begin. Jackman overacts like crazy, while McGregor has done this nebbish of a character so many times now I almost wanted to slap him. Williams has nothing to do but lounge around in clothing so elegantly skimpy you get the feeling she’s on the verge of turning bright red from embarrassment, while freshman director Marcel Langenegger keeps things at such a ponderously self-important pace the pomposity of it all is almost mind-boggling.

What’s truly heinous is how much female talent is both completely wasted and made to look absolutely foolish in the process. Maggie Q, Natasha Henstridge, Rachael Taylor, Margaret Colin, Lisa Gay Hamilton and Charlotte Rampling all make appearances in various stages of undress, some going all the way down to their birthday suits, with none of them doing a darn thing to move the story forward in any meaningful fashion.

Now, I’m not saying any of them are the greatest actresses in the world (save maybe Rampling, she’s extraordinary and the only one I desperately wanted to know more about) but what’s done to them in the picture is borderline unforgivable. The whole thing borders on being nothing more then a slickly produced episode of the old Red Shoes Diaries cable series, the sheer idiotic luridness of all the couplings almost impressive.

As bad as Deception becomes (and I haven’t even glossed the surface as to just how awful the film really is), I must admit the great cinematographer Dante Spinotti (The Insider) does some of his most truly beautiful work here. Not that it helps the picture in any way meaningful, but I thought I’d at least give the guy some props. Lord knows no one else here deserves any.

Film Rating: ê1/2  (out of 4)

Additional Links:

-  Deception Theatrical Trailer