At this point trying to say anything remotely novel or new about “Final Destination 3” is pretty much like beating your head against a brick wall and expecting it to shatter into tiny itsy bitty little pieces. There are no surprises here, no twists viewers who’ve seen the first two episodes don’t already see coming or turns they do not readily expect. In fact, the only thing, the one solitary single point of interest, remains exactly the same as it did in the earlier installments, and that’s a wonderment at how creatively gruesome the R-rated deaths are all going to be.

Well, if that is what a person is going to the theater for (and really, how many of you out there are really going for something else) then they probably will not be disappointed as to how the protagonists are dispatched. Most of them are pretty nifty, including one with a nail gun that literally had me twitching and spinning in my theater seat. While this chapter in the (bizarrely) popular series is nowhere near as nasty or grisly as “Final Destination 2,” there is surprising ingenuity to the killings in part three, a real life this-could-maybe-actually-happen verisimilitude to them that, if not scary, is close enough to being so I actually have to tip my hat a bit to the filmmakers.

But then, that’s the only tip from me they are going to get. I know screenwriters Glen Morgan and James Wong (who also directs) are the ones who created this whole series in the first place (leaving the writing-directing duties to others for part two) but that doesn’t make them heroes, it only makes them responsible. The first two “Final Destination” features are two of the most heinously unscary and insultingly stupid horror movies (non-Michael Myers or Jason Vorhees sequel variety) to hit screens over the past decade. I hate them, dislike them with a passion, and they could all just disappear from the face of the planet for all I really care.

This one might actually be the worst of the bunch. The killer machine setting everything in motion (a giant demonic roller coaster that literally falls to pieces) isn’t interesting, the two main high school kids trying to survive Death’s grip (Mary Elizabeth Winstead and Ryan Merriman) are awful and the intelligence level of the characters trying to avoid an untimely end is – if you can believe it – lower than ever before. But worse than any of this, for the first time in three films this whole Death-is-out-to-get-you scenario is, of all things, boring.

The sad part here is that I like horror movies. I don’t mind being grossed out by gore. Blood-splattered bad taste comedy doesn’t upset me. When all is said and done, I want to like “Final Destination 3,” all of the “Final Destination” films for that matter. I am the demographic they are all supposed to be playing to. And while there are one or two bits here and there I can’t help smiling about (including a witty vocal cameo from Tony Todd and neat bit with a runaway truck’s engine manifold), that’s nowhere near enough to make sitting through any of this worthwhile.

I guess, in many ways, this is another one of my exasperated movie reviews. Exasperated because, no matter what I say, this monstrosity is going to be a hit. Exasperated because, even though it wears its awfulness on its sleeve, “Final Destination 3” is going to do good enough business in theaters and on DVD that “Final Destination 4” can’t be too far off on the cinematic horizon. Exasperated because mediocrity wins again, proving to Hollywood once more the youth of the world will eat up inexpensively produced slop, and that making a picture with even an ounce of imagination isn’t just pointless, it’s a waste of time.

Film Rating: ê1/2  (out of 4)