Floridian flies Nat (Trevor Gagnon), IQ (Philip Daniel Bolden) and Scooter (David Gore) spend their days dreaming of adventure wistfully listening to exciting stories of daring-do and exploration told by their ound Grandpa (Christopher Lloyd). Inspired by these tales and eager for an unforgettable adventure of his own, Nat convinces his two best friends to join him as stowaways aboard NASA’s historic Apollo 11 moon mission, not realizing this trip will cover a full week and take them light years away from home.

A moonlit scene from Summit Entertainment's Fly Me to the Moon

Here’s the good news. The new 3D animated family adventure Fly Me to the Moon offers a few decent bits of history for children unfamiliar with the legendary 1969 moon landing. When the film sticks to the facts, it’s actually kind of enthralling (strictly on a grade school level), and considering we’re now nearly four decades removed from those iconic events any reminder is probably on some level at least partially worthwhile.

Unfortunately, that’s all I’ve got for good news. In all other respects, this movie is as perfectly and as totally insipid as anything I’ve had the grave displeasure of seeing this year. The animation is lazy at best, haphazard at worst and pretty much nondescript all the way through. More, the 3D effects are perfectly dreadful, and unlike recent efforts like Beowulf or Journey to the Center of the Earth this one gave me a headache right within the very first few seconds.

I don’t really even know what else there is to say. Domonic Paris’ lackluster script wallows in simplistic idiocy and clichés so ripe even Disney at their laziest probably would refuse to use them, while director Ben Stassen and his animators do so little that’s even close to being visually interesting I imagine watching an animated phone book slowly turning its pages would prove to be more enjoyable then sitting through this thing was.

My guess is that small children might not mind watching this, but even then the film moves so slowly they’ll probably get bored and want to go do something else long before the 80-plus minute runtime has ended. Older kids aren’t even going to being interested, so asking them if they want to go and see it is going to be a complete waste of time. As for adults, this movie is nothing less then outright torture, and in a Summer where both Dreamworks (Kung Fu Panda) and Pixar (WALL-E) got it blissfully right watching this one go wrong is about as much fun as being pelted with rotten tomatoes while sitting in a pool of moldy split pea soup. 

At the very end, legendary astronaut Buzz Aldrin makes a brief (non-animated) appearance. One has to wonder what he was thinking when he signed up to appear in this and not sit down for David Sington’s remarkably entertaining and informative In the Shadow of the Moon. Whatever the reason I hope it was worth it, because Fly Me to the Moon is so horrible even calling Houston to say there’s a problem would be a waste of time, not even their scientists able to fix what ails this pitiful so-called excuse for family entertainment.

Film Rating: ê (out of 4)

Additional Links

-  Fly Me to the Moon Theatrical Trailer