Dentist Charlie Logan (Dane Cook) has an unusual problem. It seems that every woman he’s ever been with, after they break up the very next person she goes out with turns out to be the love of her life. The women get married, almost immediately, and it’s starting to appear the reason for this matrimonial bliss is all because they spent some time in Charlie’s bed first.

Jessica Alba and Dane Cook in Lionsgate Films' Good Luck Chuck

Charlie’s best friend cosmetic surgeon Stu Klaminsky (Dan Fogler) thinks his buddy’s affliction is a manly man’s dream come true. Beautiful girls are literally throwing themselves at him, offering his fellow doctor sex at the drop of a hat, and for the life of him Stu can’t imagine a better malady any heterosexual male could ever hope of having.

But when Charlie meets beautiful (if accident prone) penguin biologist Cam Wexler (Jessica Alba) he quickly realizes his affliction is a curse not a blessing. He’s in love with the woman, completely, totally and absolutely head-over-heels. But of he sleeps with her she’s going to break up with him and then immediately get married to the next man she dates. Charlie can’t let that happen, and no matter how crazy it makes him look or how absurd he becomes he’s got to break this curse and make sure Cam doesn’t go anywhere soon.

Good Luck Chuck is an abomination. Crass, juvenile, poorly scripted and virtually laugh free, this sex comedy is about as odious a 96 minutes as I’ve spent sitting in a theater all year. While it does push the boundaries of R-rated sex and does have a couple of moments of whack-a-doo spunkiness, overall this film is a total disaster and walking out I felt like I’d just been pummeled by a wet noodle and spat on by horny adolescent just because they didn’t like the color of my shoes.

While I am not all that sure what I entirely mean by that last sentence, what I am sure of is that director Mark Helfrich and screenwriter Josh Stolberg have crafted one of the more offensively loathsome pictures I’ve had the disservice to view in quite some time. The film demeans women in almost every single way imaginable, relying upon crass and sickly stereotypes which could make a Stepford Wife look like a Camille Paglia feminist. I almost couldn’t believe what I was watching, and while it didn’t quite drop to Norbit levels of depravity it gets ever so close to achieving that dubious benchmark of comedic mediocrity.

Pity, because for probably the first time ever I am more then receptive to the idea of cutting the much put-upon Alba a break. For all of the flack she’s gotten for her acting abilities in both of The Fantastic Four adventures, after watching this I think she might have found her calling as a physical comedian. Even when the film reaches its apex of depraved offensiveness, somehow the young actress remains a seductively charming presence. She throws herself into all of this with fearless guile and whimsical abandon, and while Alba is never going to be an Oscar-level performer, as a comedian I can almost believe the skies the limit. 

Other than that, I really don’t have anything else to say. While I still believe Cook has promise as an actor, this film certainly doesn’t showcase it, and while I didn’t mind Fogler in Balls of Fury here he’s a total train wreck of gruesome misery I don’t even want to think about. On just about every level, Good Luck Chuck sucks, and there aren’t any better ways of saying it then that.

Film Rating:  ê  (out of 4) 

Additional Links:

-  Good Luck Chuck Theatrical Trailer