Thirty-something New Yorkers Gray (Heather Graham) and Sam (Tom Cavanagh) have been friends all their lives. Literally. Because even though these two roommates and Ballroom Dance partners look like an old married couple, they’re actually a brother/sister combo so in-synch they pick out what kind of wine the other will drink and even finish one another's sentences.

Things get a little bit harder for the twosome when sexy zoologist Charlie (Bridget Moynahan) enters the picture. Sam flips head over heels for the girl, rushing off to Vegas with sis at his side to marry her only one week after their initial date. Only problem, thanks to a bit too much tequila and a late-night make-out session Gray’s just come to the realization she’s a lesbian. Worse, she loves Charlie, and as much as she wants to tell her brother she also knows doing so just might break his heart.

If Gray Matters sounds an awful lot like last year’s British invasion comedy Imagine Me & You you wouldn't be the first to recognize the similarities. The thing is, while this one has a far more high profile cast (which includes Alan Cumming, Molly Shannon and Oscar-winner Sissy Spacek), I find that I enjoyed that previous romantic import far more than I did this one. This film tries much too hard, writer-director Sue Kramer doing her best to evoke a wacky 1930’s screwball style only to instead cast a spell of unfortunate hyperactively annoying chaos.

Too bad, really, because all the ingredients for a delightful romantic comedy and a touching coming out tale are definitely in place. Graham hasn’t been this bubbly and delightful in ages, while Moynahan is energetically delectable as the object of everyone’s affections. Shannon didn’t annoy me (for once) half as much as she usually does, Cumming has a spunky charm that’s perfectly enchanting and former Ed star Cavanagh somehow manages to take his sketchily written character and magically makes something interesting out of him.

Yet none of this is anywhere near enough. Kramer has fashioned her cinematic debut with sitcom-like familiarity, too much of the film playing like randomly frenzied vignettes each of them ramming one into the other with all the subtlety of a brick thrown through a plate glass window. The dialogue has little wit and even less poetry, while the only thing unpredictable about any of this is how frantically predictable the whole thing really is.

It’s all so disappointing. Spacek is wasted in a series of cameos as Gray’s extrovert psychotherapist doing absolutely nothing for her and even less for the movie. Worse, they insult the audience’s intelligence, demoralizing the main character in ways that aren’t helpful for her and not remotely funny for the viewer. They make the main character’s issues with her own coming out seem superficial and common, not unique to the person they tenuously boil within.

Listen, if Graham wasn’t so great (she shares a scene with Cumming atop the New Yorker building that’s absolutely sublime) in this it goes without saying Gray Matters would be a complete waste of time. But she is great, borderline fantastic, and whether she is sharing the screen with Cavanagh or dancing a classic routine from Till the Clouds Roll By with Moynahan it’s a joy to watch her. I loved Graham in this, and if only for a truly knockout scene in an elevator where Gray’s soul is laid bare for all to see Kramer’s movie deserves at least a slight tip of the hat and maybe even a partially passing grade.

Well, maybe not that last part. It’s unfortunate but this movie annoyed me far more than it moved me, and as much as I liked the girl at the center of it all I just didn't care for anything going on around her at all. The romance falls flat, the relationships don’t feel true and the emotions running through it all seldom sparkle as genuine. The taste left by the film is bitter, and by the time it was over the only thing Gray Matters had dancing was my fidgety desire to get up and leave.

Film Rating: êê  (out of 4)