Eddie Cantrow (Ben Stiller) is a 40-year-old San Francisco small business owner making a living selling sporting goods. He is also commitment phobic, always able to find a reason to not pull the trigger on a relationship and enter into matrimonial contentment. His dad Doc (Jerry Stiller) and cuckold best friend Mac (Rob Corddry) think he’s an idiot, urging the guy to at least get back out there and start playing the field before no woman in her right mind will have anything to do with him.

Ben Stiller and Malin Akerman in Dreamworks Pictures' The Heartbreak Kid

Fate comes knocking in the form of plucky environmental researcher Lila (Malin Ackerman) and suddenly Eddie discovers he’s fallen head over heels for the girl. Soon this seemingly perfect twosome is married and heading for their honeymoon in Mexico and all seems great. But then the cracks start to show, and Lila turns out to be a person far different than the one Eddie thought he married.

Enter Miranda (Michelle Monaghan), a ravishing free spirit at the resort to celebrate the anniversary of her long-married parents with the rest of her extended family. She’s perfect, and before Eddie knows it he’s totally in love with her. The problem is he’s already married, and it’s not like the guy is going to be able to go through life not telling his new girlfriend about his newlywed wife.

No matter what you might have heard, Bobby and Peter Farrelly’s remake of the 1972 Neil Simon classic The Heartbreak Kid is pretty horrendous. That picture garnered two Academy Award nominations and made stars out of Charles Grodin and Cybill Shepherd; I seriously doubt anything remotely similar is going to happen here. This flatulence-filled and nudity-baring comedy is so far from being a good time going to the dentist for a cleaning would probably be a more fun-filled event (and, seeing that I went to an actual dentist right before the screening I know what I’m talking about). This isn’t a good movie, and while there are one or two decently solid laughs none of them make up for the obnoxious venality of the rest of it.

Too bad, because I’d really like to see the Farrelly brothers (bits and pieces of Fever Pitch aside) regain their footing. Re-teaming with their There’s Something About Mary star Stiller was probably a good place to start, but as far as I’m concerned that was where the duo’s good ideas came to an end. This film is insipid, so much of the humor not so much politically incorrect (which I don’t mind) as it is obvious and sophomoric. The pair try far too hard to regain their mojo, and more often than not you can see the talented cast straining overtime trying to make things funny.

By the time it was over I felt like I’d been bludgeoned be a jackhammer in the shape of a rubber chicken. In all fairness, I applaud the way Ackerman throws herself so completely into all of this. The girl is amazingly endearing, even when she’s being a total witch, and part of me kind of wants to believe she’s going to be a star. But it isn’t enough, nothing she or anyone else can do enough to actually make this film even somewhat palatable.

In a way, sitting here thinking about it I’m actually coming to the belief that the time of the Farrelly’s has come to an end. Guys like Judd Apatow, Seth Rogan and Greg Mottola have stolen their thunder, using some of the brother’s templates but infusing their pictures with heart, soul and endearing characters films like this, Shallow Hal and Stuck on You sadly lack. They’ve elevated the gross-out game to an entirely different level and the Farrelly’s just haven’t caught up, this summer’s surprise hits Knocked Up and Superbad containing more laughs in five minutes than this one musters in almost two hours. 

When all is said and done there really isn’t too much else to talk about. The movie just isn’t very funny. Worse, its main character is such an annoyingly neurotic oaf he deserves every bit of the pain and hardship thrust upon him during the course of the tale. While Stiller certainly still has it in him to be funny and Ackerman looks to me like a budding star, this film doesn’t help either one of them. It’s not a complete disaster but it does come close, and for that reason alone the only thing audiences can expect from The Heartbreak Kid is a giant case of the cinematic lovesick blues.

Film Rating: ê1/2  (out of 4)  

Additional Links:

-  The Heartbreak Kid Theatrical Trailer