Mike Meyers’ new comedy The Love Guru had arguably the year’s worst trailers (with the odious What Happens in Vegas giving it a run for its money). More than that, however, was the fact the former SNL star and the mastermind behind Wayne’s World and the Austin Powers trilogy turned up in-character on seemingly every program known to man, his appearance on the season final of “American Idol” one of the most disastrous comedic train wrecks I’ve quite possibly ever seen.

Mike Meyers in Paramount Pictures' The Love Guru

Having managed to work itself into such a potentially disastrous corner, it is somewhat surprising then that the actual movie isn’t near as bad as all of its horrific marketing would have led viewers to believe. In fact, moments here and there are actually kind of inspired, and each time the film takes a break to launch into some absurd Bollywood-inspired music video it actually borders on the wonderful.

None of which should be construed with a recommendation for this slapdash and unfocused mess of a comedy. Meyers, like always it seems, works better in constructing short vignettes than he does scripting (this time working with co-writer Graham Gordy) entire pictures and The Love Guru is no exception. The pair rely on an awful lot of crotch-level innuendo and jokes aimed squarely at diminutive co-star Verne Troyer, and unless your idea of family fun is watching two massive pachyderms get it on I suggest parents make sure and leave the little ones squarely at home.

As for the story, for as needlessly complicated as it appears to be in the film it’s actually rather simple. American-born but trained in India Guru Pitka (Meyers) is hired by Toronto Maple Leafs owner Jane Bullard (Jessica Alba) to help fix the love life of her star player Darren Roanoke (Romany Malco) so the team can win the Stanley Cup. The problem is, his unhappy wife Prudence (Megan Good) is currently under the spell of rival player Jacques “Le Coq” Grande (Justin Timberlake), and seeing as the man more then lives up to his nickname fixing this mess isn’t going to be as easy as strumming an Extreme song on sitar. Mayhem, chaos and, hopefully, hilarity ensues.

Shockingly, sometimes it does. The ongoing gag involving “Law & Order: SVU” star Mariska Hargitay somehow doesn’t wear out its welcome, as does a bit involving an apparently never-ending supply of self-help books. There’s just not enough jokes to wrap an entire 90-minute scenario around is all, the film stuffed with so much filler a person could go out into the lobby, play a video game, buy some popcorn, eat it, grab a Diet Coke to wash it down with, text message their best friend only to finally return to the theater and realize they hadn’t missed a single darn thing.

It also doesn’t help that the elements that don’t work aren’t just bad, they almost crush the cranium into bloody pieces of pulp with their almost unforgivable mediocrity. Scenes between Roanoke and his mother Lillian (Telma Hopkins) are freakishly inert, while just about every segment involving Ben Kinglsey as Meyer’s former mentor and guide go absolute nowhere. Worse, while he valiantly (and admirably) throws himself into the part, Timberlake is so fantastically awful it’s actually kind of embarrassing. 

In the end, all of the sexual humor and almost relentless crotch jokes finally got the best of me. While some of it charms and there is certainly wit in places (love those animated hockey team logos constantly battling it out), there’s just not enough of either to warrant watching the entire film costing both Meyers and The Love Guru karma points they couldn’t afford to lose. But at least it’s better than the trailer. There is that.

Film Rating: êê  (out of 4)

- reprinted courtesy of the SGN in Seattle

Additional Links

-  The Love Guru Theatrical Trailer