There comes a point where you just want to say enough is enough. For me, that point was sitting in the theater watching the Patrick Dempsey romantic comedy Made of Honor. This was a movie offering up so little in the way of originality, absent of anything even close to resembling inspiration, all I really wanted to do while watching it was bolt upright from my seat and run screaming back out through the front door.

Michelle Monaghan and Patrick Dempsey in Sony Pictures' Made of Honor

What makes all this so much worse is that the film really doesn’t deserve all the vitriol. As a stand alone motion picture, the thing is technically proficient, reasonably well acted and made with enough skill and craftsmanship it should probably pass just enough muster to deserve something of a break. In simple terms, it is by far not the worst thing I’ve sat and endured so far this year (thank you One Missed Call), it’s just the first one that royally ticked me off.

Why? The chief reason is that this is a movie that does not care at all for the audience paying to see it. Every single scene, every move of the plot, every tiny ounce of minute character development, every fiber of this love-struck fairy tale’s very being is lifted and stolen from  every other Grant, Roberts, Bullock, Hanks, Ryan, et al romantic comedy ever made. Pieces of Sleepless in Seattle here, bits of My Best Friend’s Wedding there, pickups from Notting Hill, When Harry Met Sally…, While You Were Sleeping, Four Weddings and a Funeral, You’ve Got Mail all over the bloody place.

The film is nothing more than a Greatest Hits collection and nothing more. Additionally, it’s almost as if the entire cast knows it. Everyone here looks like they’re going through the motions. Dempsey is blandly boring as the egotistical hero, Michelle Monaghan tiredly familiar as the beguiling love interest, Kevin McKidd lazily channels Bill Pullman as the cog in the romantic machine while Kathleen Quinlan and Sydney Pollack slum with almost zero enthusiasm as a couple of parents with little to either do or say.

The basic premise follows a wealthy gadabout named Tom (Dempsey) who idiotically can’t seem to realize he’s in love with his sexy best friend Hannah (Monaghan) until she’s suddenly engaged to Scottish foreigner Colin (McKidd). At the urging of his best friend Felix (Kadeem Hardison) the overly masculine child in adult clothing agrees to be his pal’s Maid of Honor in order to secretly sabotage the matrimonial bliss from the inside. Laughter and merriment supposedly ensue.

Problem is, they don’t actually ensue. Director Paul Weiland (City Slickers II: The Legend of Curly's Gold) moves things at a snail’s pace, while the screenplay by committee has enough holes to march an entire blonde bubbling bimbo debutante’s wedding party through. The film annoyed and frustrated me, and before it was even ten minutes old I knew watching it was going to be a long painful slog of banal mediocrity not even a person’s worst enemy should have to suffer the damnable ignominy of sitting through.

Pity, because I’ve always been a bit of a fan of romantic comedies. The best ones (like say 1940’s The Philadelphia Story or 1988’s Working Girl) make me smile with unabashed happiness, while even the most mediocre of them (like 27 Dresses, a minor hit with Katherine Heigl released earlier this year) can still make me smile as long as they’ve got two or three winning moments and the star's have decent capture worthy of capturing my undivided attention. Made of Honor has none of this, nothing to offer, not one single thing, and the only thing winning here is being able to admit I survived it.

Film Rating: ê1/2  (out of 4)

Additional Links:

-  Made of Honor Theatrical Trailer