It is Donna Keppel’s (Brittany Snow) prom night and she can’t wait to get going. She and her friends, including hunky boyfriend Bobby (Scott Porter) and spunky BFF Lisa (Dana Davis), have got the limo rented, the snazzy duds purchased and the gigantic hotel room pre-paid. It’s the last night of their childhood and the first big party celebrating their futures, all of them positively determined to make it one they’ll remember for the rest of their collective lives.

Brittany Snow and Scott Porter in Screen Gems' Prom Night

Unfortunately there’s a party crasher, a former teacher who three years prior developed an unhealthy affection for Donna and massacred her entire family. He’s broken out of the mental institution and somehow managed to get into prom unnoticed. Now he’s got the girl of his dreams in his sights, and as much as all of them want this to be a special night with him around it’s now going to be remembered for all the wrong reasons, each and every one of them covered in somebody’s blood.

Another pointless remake of a 1980’s slasher film, Prom Night doesn’t exactly make the grade. If anything, it flunks out right from the start, opening with a cheesy montage of hide and seek that didn’t exactly make me hopeful for what was to follow. This is a tired, ultimately boring horror film with no bite and, even worse, zero scares, and goodness knows sitting in the theater the darn thing couldn’t get over fast enough.

Not that the original was all that great to begin with. One of the signature flicks that gave star Jamie Lee Curtis her "Scream Queen" moniker, while I’ve seen the picture for the life of me I can hardly recollect any of it. I remember jumping a time or two, and I definitely recall one of the killings (with an axe) was certainly deliciously gruesome, but overall it wasn’t anything to call home about, and even for true slasher film aficionados I have a hard time believing it’s one many of them hold dear to their hearts.

Still, if I did have the energy to go back and watch it again (which I don’t, in case you’re interested) I’m all but certain it would look like Dario Argento-fueled Shakespeare compared to this. Director Nelson McCormick (a television veteran of shows like “Prison Break” and “Alias”) keeps things at a glacial pace, while J.S. Cardone’s (The Covenant) screenplay shows about as much ingenuity with terror situations as George W. Bush does as it comes to the economy.

In the spirit of honesty, there is one absolutely phenomenal line about a third of the way through between Lisa and one of her school’s bitchier queen bees that knocked my socks off it was so good. There is also a nice little chase inside one of the hotel’s larger rooms conveniently under renovation. It should also be said that veteran character actor Idris Elba (portraying a haunted detective obsessed with keeping Donna safe) gives the film a sense of authority it truly doesn’t deserve, but praise is praise and my guess the filmmakers will take it wherever they can.

The real problem here, and this might be a bit of a spoiler so consider yourself warned, is that there is no sense of cathartic justice of any kind. The girls with Paris Hilton-like attitudes make it out alive and the main character does little else than whimper and whine her way threw the entirety of her perils. Where is that take charge Ellen Ripley, Sidney Prescott or Laurie Strode moment where Donna grabs the bull by the horns and faces her murdering demon? Where is that stare of determination proving the heroine just won't take it lying down anymore and is willing to put up a fight? Don't expect any answers here, that’s for sure, Prom Night a hellish party I couldn’t wait to bolt from. 

Film Rating: ê1/2  (out of 4)

Additional Links:

-  Prom Night Theatrical Trailer