I’m starting to think this Summer of the Threequel isn’t going to be all it could have been cracked up to be.

First Spider-Man 3, record opening weekend or no, proved to be undeniably underwhelming even with its intriguing and power-packed storyline. Now comes Shrek the Third, the next chapter in the hugely popular DreamWorks Animation Studios saga of a giant green ogre, the donkey who follows him and the Far, Far Away princess who loves him. All excitement and anticipation aside the fairy tale is clearly over no matter how much I and so many others would rather wish the opposite. One can only shudder and imagine what fate has in store for Captain Jack this coming Memorial Day weekend.

The story picks up with Shrek (Mike Meyers) and Princess Fiona (Cameron Diaz) trying to keep Far, Far Away running smoothly when toadly King Harold (John Cleese) goes down ill. When he tragically croaks, suddenly the grumpy green ogre is faced with a choice, be crowned the new King or go off with compatriots Donkey (Eddie Murphy) and Puss In Boots (Antonio Banderas) to bring back his wife’s long-lost cousin Artie (Justin Timberlake) to take over the throne.

It’s not really a surprise what he chooses, but when the erstwhile King Arthur proves to be an unconfident semi-selfish dweeb and old Nemesis Prince Charming (Rupert Everett) rounds up all the land’s misunderstood villains and turns them into an army things really go haywire. Now Shrek must make the ultimate sacrifice, and with Fiona expecting the couple’s first child the time for him to decide to be a altruistic hero couldn’t have come at a more unfortunate time.

There is plenty of potential here, especially with the writers behind this sequel bringing the legendary British King Arthur into the mix. But the journey he takes isn’t interesting and it isn’t fun, the whole thing descending into a tiredly sermonizing ABC After School Special dripping in schmaltz and hokum. Tell you what, I know this is the last thing Jeffery Katzenberg is ever going to want to hear but Disney did this character better, the Mouse House’s Sword in the Stone far more entertaining and juvenilely subversive than this film could ever hope to be.

But the problems for Shrek the Third don’t stop there. At this point, all of the picture’s anarchic dismantling of fairy tales is more than a bit expected. The filmmakers know this, doing their best to keep viewers off balance and go in different directions. Of course, as I doubt seriously they were expecting to see humor below even the meager (if entertaining) standards set by the Little Red Riding Hood satire Hoodwinked I can’t very well believe audiences are going to be at all happy about this.

It’s not a total loss. Some of that old magic does come through. Eric Idle is an inspired choice to play a senile Merlin the Magician, while a bit with Snow White using her melodious 1930’s-style singing voice to unleash a little furry and feathery payback is an absolute hoot. I also laughed my butt off during an extended dream sequence, Shrek’s fears of impending fatherhood funnier and more imaginatively grotesque than I could ever have imagined them to be.

It’s just all so much ado about nothing, however, the twists and turns so forgone they almost feel as if they were calculated on an abacus and not on an artist’s drawing pad. There is no majesty this time, no splendiferous comedy to make me happily roar. Bits are good, and certainly some of the vignettes are more than passable (love the initial byplay between a species-swapped Donkey and Puss), it’s just the whole that is lacking, which unfortunately makes Shrek the Third nothing more than a substandard kingly displeasure.

Film Rating: êê  (out of 4)