Just Say ‘No’ to Shrooms
A group of American college students have arrived in Ireland for what they think is the trip of a lifetime. Led by the always in control and a bit of a goody-two-shoes Tara (Lindsey Haun) and under the guidance of her sometimes boyfriend (and self-described mushroom expert) Jake (Jack Huston) the group descend into the wilderness to partake of some of the local plant life.
Lindsey Haun in Magnolia Pictures' Shrooms
But things don’t go exactly as planned, these mind-altering fungi testing them in ways forcing them to question their very own sanity. Tara is especially messed up, accidentally overdosing on a particularly dangerous mushroom causing her to have wild hallucinations predicting the deaths of her friends. The thing is, maybe it isn’t all in the blonde bombshells head, a decades old ghost story maybe coming to life putting all of their lives in serious jeopardy.
Director Paddy Breathnach’s (I Went Down) Shrooms sounds much better in concept then it remotely does in execution. This supposedly mind-twisting horror slash thriller has a decent little B-movie premise hiding under its skirt, the only problem being writer Pearse Elliott (Man About Dog) has forgotten to construct anything either surprising or scary. If anything, the whole thing feels like a pale Blair Witch Project meets Saw combined with Friday the 13th knockoff, all of it told with all the grace, subtlety and frenzied excitement of a refreshingly banal walk through a senile narcoleptic senior living colony.
The actors don’t help. Other than Haun and Huston, the whole cast is nothing more than a histrionic lost cause. Supporting players Max Kasch, Alice Greczyn, Robert Hoffman and Maya Hazen are passable at best, laughably horrific at worst. In a film devoid of a single scary moment the only truly frightening thing here is watching any of them try to convey an honest human emotion, a surreal image of a prescient talking cow upstaging them to such a degree it could even be said the inspired bovine maybe deserves an Oscar nomination.
Okay, that last bit is a joke, but that doesn’t make enduring what these actors put forth here any easier to endure. They really are all quite terrible, and while having to spout any of Elliot’s inane and moronic dialogue could make even the most talented thespian look like a unprepared novice journeyman what they do with it borders on the criminal.
All of which is honestly more than a little too bad, because I was more than willing to give Breathnach’s latest feature the benefit of the doubt. There is a solid little “Twilight Zone” meets Dazed and Confused thrill ride just bursting to come out here, and had someone had the diligence to ask for another rewrite maybe we’d be talking about a horse of a different color. Problem is we’re not, and the only sane thing to do is urge people to just say no to Shrooms.
Film Rating: ê1/2 (out of 4)
Additional Links:
- Shrooms Theatrical Trailer
