Lively Chan a Kid-Friendly Spy
Bob Ho (Jackie Chan), a Chinese spy on loan to the American CIA, has just finished his final case, arresting Russian saboteur Poldark (Magnús Scheving) before he could damage U.S. oil production. While his superior Agent Glaze (George Lopez) and his best friend Colton James (Billy Ray Cyrus) don’t especially want to see him go, the martial arts expert is supremely content in his decision to walk away.
Jackie Chan in Lionsgate's The Spy Next Door
The reasons for this have to do with his growing relationship with next door neighbor and single mother of three Gillian (Amber Valletta). But when she’s called out of town on an emergency Bob’s suddenly left in charge of three youngsters who aren’t exactly sure they like him. Worse, Poldark’s escaped from custody, and he’s certain the former secret agent is in possession of information that could derail his nefarious plans.
There’s not much to say about The Spy Next Door. As Jackie Chan kids’ movies go, this one is about as innocuous and as relatively diverting as an adult viewer could ever hope to expect. It is surprisingly straight forward and easy to sit through, and while the plot (somehow credited to three different writers) is ludicrous it isn’t so much so that it becomes a complete waste of time.
Not that the movie, if taken even slightly seriously, is even close to being worthwhile. The plot is of the Saturday morning cartoon variety, the villains sport the most ridiculous Russian accents since Boris met Natasha and Lopez is so horrible he’s not even unintentionally funny. As for Cyrus, he’s exactly the same here as he is on his daughter Miley’s Disney Channel television show, so if viewers find him amusing and affable enough there I guess they’ll probably end up feeling the same after watching this.
I still can’t come down too hard on the film. After all, considering director Brian Levant’s track record at least it’s not the second coming of Are We There Yet?, Jingle All the Way or Problem Child 2. Thankfully the guy leaves well enough alone, allowing the always charming Chan and the trio of relatively pleasant kids to stay in the central spotlight. While I’m not admitting that the guy has suddenly learned how to direct without a heavily obnoxious hand, for the first time maybe in his entire career he actually uses at least a slightly moderate form of restraint making sitting through the film easier than it probably should be.
There isn’t much more to say. My gut tells me kids under the age of ten are going to like it, everyone else going to want to be spending their time and money elsewhere. As far as adults are concerned the film’s best moments come in the form of an opening series of pre-credit highlights from Chan’s action packed Hong Kong youth, the rest of the film barely scratching the surface in regards to the man’s once upon a time unparalleled talents. For my part, The Spy Next Door isn’t a movie I’ll ever want to watch again, but if my two little nieces ever expressed the urge to do so I doubt I’d scream too loudly if my sister gave in and let them do so.
Film Rating: êê (out of 4)
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