The really weird thing about Star Wars: The Clone Wars is that there is no rational reason for this motion picture to even exist. An off-shoot of the TNT animated series, the film plays like a couple of elongated episodes, and while it’s never annoying or difficult to sit through, there isn’t much of a rationale for buying a ticket to actually do so in the first place.

Padawan learner Ahoska and Jedi mentor Anakin Skywalker in Warner Bros' Star Wars: The Clone Wars

I guess that’s not totally fair. The reason the movie exists is actually an obvious one. Warner Bros. and executive producer George Lucas saw a chance to make a little bit more money. But as for adding anything deep or meaningful to the Star Wars legacy or cast of characters this one does little to nothing at all, and with that being the case I think my initial statement stands.

The overly complex (yet surprisingly unimportant) storyline follows Jedi Knights Obi-Wan Kenobi (James Arnold Taylor) and Anakin Skywalker (Matt Lanter) leading their armies in battle during the height of the Clone Wars. After Jabba the Hutt’s (Kevin Michael Richardson) son is kidnapped, the pair – along with new Padawan learner Ahsoka Tano (Ashley Eckstein) – are dispatched by Yoda (Tom Kane) and Mace Windu (Samuel L. Jackson) to try and rescue him in order to keep the Tatooine gangster on their side of the conflict.

It’s far more intricate then that, but the whole movie is just one giant action-filled battle after another and plot is decidedly secondary to all the whiz-bang heroics. There are new villains like the sinister Asajj Ventress (Nika Futterman) and apparently pansexual Hutts like Jabba’s nephew Ziro (Corey Burton), but even they are mere afterthoughts to the constant blaster firings, light saber dueling, droid destructions and wall-crashing theatrics of the action.

Not that there really is anything wrong with that. The film is in such constant motion it’s unlikely anyone would ever admit to being bored, the majority of the cacophony in the Saturday morning mold so young kids in love with that sort of stuff will certainly be enthused. More then that, other than the weirdly stilted human figures, the animation is absolutely breathtaking, some of the aerial ballets and sweeping panoramic vistas as good as any I’ve seen in an animated movie this year.

It’s just all so pointless. I seriously felt like I got nothing out of watching the thing other than feelings of slight annoyance. While I’ll defend portions of the prequels (and pretty much all of Revenge of the Sith), it is looking more and more like Lucas will do anything with the Star Wars brand in order to squeeze out another buck from unsuspecting audiences. He’s been overwhelmed by the Dark Side of the Force, and while that isn’t exactly a new observation it’s still one that makes me sad all the same. 

But I’m not here to spew venom and vitriol, I’ll leave that the fanboys and girls who live, breath and die everything and anything having to do with the mythology behind this iconic sci-fi fantasy world first unleashed upon an unsuspecting world three decades ago in a theatrical galaxy that really is far, far away. All I really am here to do is say that, for all it’s excited energy pushing for the opposite, Star Wars: The Clone Wars is an animated drama only the pre-teens will enjoy, all others looking for their Jedi fix need not apply.

Film Rating: êê (out of 4) 

Additional Links:

-  Star Wars: The Clone Wars Theatrical Trailer