Clothing designer Mary Haines (Meg Ryan), magazine editor Sylvia Fowler (Annette Benning), artist Edie Cohen (Debra Messing) and acclaimed writer Alex Fisher (Jada Pinkett Smith) are best friends. They’ve seen one another through thick, thin and all the highs and lows in-between.

Jada Pinkett-Smith, Anette Benning, Meg Ryan and Debra Messing in Picturehouse's The Women

Their latest travail concerns Mary, her husband cheating on her with the sexy younger woman (Eva Mendes) from the Saks perfume counter. Mom (Candice Bergen) says leave it alone and wait it out, Sylvia says to tell the svelte hussy to leave her man alone, while the rest of her gang isn’t exactly sure what she should do, they just want to make sure they’re around with a convenient shoulder to cry on.

A remake of the 1939 George Cukor classic and based on the acclaimed play by Clare Boothe Luce, writer/director Diane English’s The Women is a two decade in coming labor of love. The filmmaker has been striving for ages to get this film off the ground, at one time or another actresses as varied as Julia Roberts, Michelle Pfeiffer, Cher, Sandra Bullock, Anne Hathaway, Ashley Judd, Lisa Kudrow and Jodie Foster all rumored to be taking part in the production.

The honest truth is, in comparison to Summer’s megahit Sex and the City this one is smarter, better written, full of great dialogue and, by and large, much better acted. The even more honest truth is that it doesn’t capture attention near as well, feel half as immediate and it is so dated it’s a crying shame English didn’t get the chance to make it back during the late 1980’s or early 90’s when it might have actually resonated.

In other words, the film is a massive disappointment. It is so out of touch and out of step with modern feminine realities it almost requires carbon dating to ascertain just how ancient it really is. As wonderful as the original is, Cukor’s is definitely a product of its time, and while the talented creator of “Murphy Brown” throws in some modern touches here and there the internal sensibilities and mores up for discussion border on the downright Stepford.

Even worse than that, however, English tries to have her cake and eat it to. She wants to have a discussion about anorexic images of beauty while also showcasing just those types of models in a climactic fashion show to in order to visualize just how glamorous and amazing her main character is. She wants to show her career woman editor standing up for what right only to stop fighting and cave at the first sign of trouble. It’s all a bit troublesome, and just when I thought I could ride out the passé nature of the central story and be perfectly happy up would pop a frustrating double-standard to ruin all the good vibes.

The thing is, there are some fantastic moments here. A few of the scenes between Ryan and Benning (the only one remaining who was attached to this thing from the very beginning) have real zest to them, while Bergin adds just the right snarky spark to re-energize the proceedings whenever they start to dull. It also moves incredibly well, the movie telling a complicated, multi-character story and, unlike a recent Manolo Blahnik-clad competitor, does it in just under two hours. 

And yet, as superficial and annoying (and as long) as Sex and the City proved to be, it at least felt modern. The major problem The Women has is that it just doesn’t exist or live in the now, and if these are the role models I’m supposed to want to emulate then I better find some slippers because if I end up in the kitchen I sure as heck ain’t going to be barefoot.

Film Rating: êê (out of 4)

Additional Links

-  The Women Theatrical Trailer