Wannabe actress
Mary, who calls herself Lola (Lohan), hates the move from New York
City to suburban New Jersey. However, she soon makes a new best
friend (Pill) as they bond over their favorite band SidArthur,
fronted by Lola’s fave, Stu Wolff (Garcia). Lola must deal with
the requisite mean girl over the lead in the school’s rock musical
version of Pygmalion, and getting to a SidArthur concert
and private party.
CRITIQUE
Though at
moments offering mindless fun, Confessions is mostly a
mediocre entry into the recent “tween” genre. The actors fare well
but the story and direction are not completely redeemed by this.
Save this one for the 10 to 12-year-olds.
The hook and,
supposedly, appeal of Lola is her dramatic flair, is evidenced by the
costuming and makeup of the character. This trait manifests itself in
less-than-engaging ways, including Lola lying about her father and
moments of obtuseness that are meant to be humorous but are not. It’s
not that you don’t root for Lola but your emotions aren’t really
involved. There are a couple of moments that will uncomfortably sting
of realism concerning high school social relations, Lola’s evil rival
and fight with her best friend, but there are also other moments that
aim for a slightly bizarre tone, and this is just incongruous.
The musical scenes
are entertaining, however, with some good choreography. The character
of Stu comes near to being a sly parody of self-indulgent rock gods
but never quite gets there. The subplot involving him develops in a
way superior to the rest of the film, though toward the end he becomes
a sort of deus ex machina.
A lot of the
disappointment of this film lies in its direction, as Sara Sugarman
not only tries and fails to mix tones described above, but there is no
rhythm to the pacing or editing, and the few stylistic touches she
attempts to add, an unusual camera angle or use of slow-motion, feel
ill-placed.
The actors are by
far the best feature of this film. Lindsay Lohan has developed solid
skills and it may surprise how well she sings and dances. Allison Pill
is quite good and gets the advantage of some dialogue that stresses
reason over Lola’s flamboyance. Of the rest, I love Adam Garcia
because not only is the hunk perfectly cast, he provides some of the
biggest laughs of the film. I only wish he could have showed off his
considerable dance skills, as seen in Bootmen.
THE VIDEO
A one-disc
package features the original aspect ratio in widescreen (enhanced
for 16x9 television sets) as well as a full screen version. My
advice is to go with widescreen, as it preserves the
cinematography and color better. and the commentary track is only
available on it. The transfer looks good and there are no major
flaws with the picture presentation.
THE AUDIO
This disc is
presented in the ubiquitous Dolby Digital 5.1 Surround Sound,
and is THX-certified with and Optimizer. A French language track
and French subtitles are available. This format serves the film
fine, especially the musical scenes.
THE EXTRAS
Deleted Scene--Yes, only one deleted scene is included, titled “Eliza’s
Fantasy.” It is actually an extended scene, as Lola fantasizes
about starring with Stu in the school production as she’s about
to audition. There’s no commentary to tell why it was cut, but I
think it was a good choice.
Music Video—Lindsay
Lohan sings “That Girl” from the school production in the film in
typical teen video format. You hear more of the song here than in the
film and there are plenty of film clips. Not impressive.
Featurette—Titled
“Confessions From the Set,” this relatively short behind-the-scenes
featurette is basically filler. The director and four major cast
members discuss the film and don’t really add anything to the
film-watching experience.
Commentary—This
track, only available over the widescreen presentation of the film,
features director Sara Sugarman, scriptwriter Gail Parent, and
producers Robert Shapiro and Jerry Leider. The usual comments here
again add nothing significant to the viewing and the feel of it is
actually kind of patronizing. To give you an example of the level
here, at one point they actually look up “brilliant” in the
dictionary.
FINAL THOUGHTS
The film is not
helped much by similarly unimpressive extras. One wonders where the
film trailer is and I feel this package might have been helped by also
adding something like a choreography spotlight. Confessions of a
Teenage Drama Queen is strictly for the tweens. Don’t bother if you’re not an
adolescent girl.
