Twins Jane
(Ashley Olsen) and Roxy Ryan (Mary-Kate Olsen) start a day in New
York City with different plans: Jane is to give a speech to win a
Fellowship, and Roxy is to ditch school yet again to go to a
band’s music video shoot to get her band’s demo to their manager.
Getting kicked off the train is only the start of their problems,
which end up involving a microchip belonging to a Chinese piracy
ring, evading a truant officer (Levy), and keeping tabs on a
Senator’s dog.
CRITIQUE
I’ll say it up
front: I am not a fan of the Olsen twins. Not even close. To me, they
are the top example of people who are famous just because, not
for any merit. This film did nothing to change my mind. New York
Minute is a bad film, an example of awful writing, mediocre
direction, and most of all lacking performances.
The film’s story
itself is just not good enough. The plot is a meandering series of
implausible situations designed to get broad laughs, but nothing
happens. Not only is there no emotional connection, some of the things
that happen would just never happen. Writers Emily Fox, Adam
Cooper, and Bill Collage fell into the clichés of an Olsen film, the
most blaring of which is the two-dimensional delineation of their
characters so they can say, “Oh, look how different they are even
though they look alike.”
The humor just
rarely works and the dialogue isn’t much better. At one point, Ashley
even says “My bad.” Talk about five years ago! Andy Richter as one of
the Chinese criminals does a fake accent that is clearly meant to be
fake, as pointed out in dialogue, but every time he speaks, it just
feels stupid.
The New York
created here may just as well be computer-generated. Running into the
same people everywhere, changing clothes, like, five times in one day,
the “everything’s okay” ending—none of this is realistic. There is
also a racially insensitive scene set in Harlem, and plenty of other
films are referenced throughout.
The direction here
is also underwhelming. Dennie Gordon does nothing to create a unifying
tone. She uses inset screens nicely but no standout camera work or
angles, the editing is not exceptional, and she crafts what feel like
a million pointless montages. There’s nothing that stands out more as
a way to fill up time, and the film is only an hour and a half long.
Oh wait, that must be a good thing.
The Olsen twins, as
I said, never struck me as talented in their older incarnations. They
mostly do comedy fine but that’s not enough. There’s even a dramatic
scene near the film’s end and it is conspicuous that they can’t call
up the tears. Respect for their business abilities only goes so far.
Their looks are also approaching artificial more and more. Eugene Levy
is the only true bright spot, a comedian so gifted even this material
can’t cover it.
New York Minute
as a film is strictly for those tweens who couldn’t care less about
quality and just want to see more of the Olsen twins.
THE VIDEO
This disc is in 16
by 9 widescreen format, preserving the theatrical images.
THE AUDIO
Dolby Surround 5.1
in English and French is available, as are English, French, and
Spanish subtitles.
THE EXTRAS
Blooper Reel—A
2-minute compilation of outtakes from the film which are only
sporadically funny, like the film itself.
Alternate Endings—The
two presented are essentially the same outcome as the one actually
used except that the setting for both is now the girls’ home. Neither
is exceptional or better than the one used in the film.
In a New York
Minute—The
typical studio featurette with interviews of the cast members and the
director and on-set footage. The 14 minutes is nothing exciting and
the best bit is with the dog that plays Reinaldo in the film. And
what’s with all this talk about this being their first feature film?
They were in 1995’s It Takes Two, weren’t they?
Mary-Kate and
Ashley’s Behind the Scenes Slideshow—A truly unnecessary feature as photos and production
stills flash onscreen to the tune of the Simple Plan song “Vacation”
heard in the film.
Trailer—Not
bad as far as trailers go. There are no other sneak peeks.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Olsen twins fans
will enjoy the film maybe, but filmgoers should stay away. You’re not
missing out on anything! A bad film is not helped by the okay extras.
