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FEATURE COLUMN
Movie Talk with Greg
Malmborg
An Entertainment
Column
Welcome to
Movie Talk, my new bi-weekly column. I want to
thank all of you again who took the time to e-mail me your
thoughts, comments, and ideas. It was very insightful. I also
want to encourage more of you to
e-mail me any comments on the topics I discuss or any ideas
for the column. And as I said before, I will post some reader
comments when I feel it is appropriate and I will run contests
from time to time (no prizes, just recognition).
Incoming Mail
I received a
lot of mail in regards to the way I approached my last edition
of the column. Everyone seemed to like the quick reviews of the
in-theater and currently in rental stores movies.
“Good column, I
really enjoyed your reviews. They were brief, they didn’t give
away any of the plot like most reviews, and they were right on.”
– Tim
“Keep up with
the reviews.” – T.J. in San Diego
“More reviews,
I love that it only takes me a second to breeze through them
instead of wasting 5 minutes on one.” – Kim in South Carolina
But I also
received a lot of mail in regards to my rating system. It seems
like everyone liked the way the last edition went and that I
gave my rating after each movie, but that they needed some
clarification. Like if I said I liked a movie, and then gave it
only 2 ½ stars (referred to as 2.5 throughout this edition, and
such). So here is a quick reference on how I rate movies:
Rating System
5 stars – This
is a masterpiece, pure and simple. There isn’t one negative
thing I could say about it. Not many films even come close (The
Godfather, Gladiator, Platoon are a few).
4 stars – This
would be a great film that just doesn’t quite reach the heights
of a masterpiece, but has universal appeal. Meaning there are
some negative aspects to it, but the positives completely
outweigh those negatives (like Gangs of New York or
The Matrix)
3 stars – This
is an above average film where the positive aspects do outweigh
the negatives, but the level of enjoyment and fulfillment
depends on how much the individual viewer enjoys that particular
genre, actor/actress, or director. Blade 2 would fall
into this category for me because I like vampire films as well
as action movies, but if you don’t like either of those two
genres you would probably hate Blade 2.
2 stars –
Basically the same logic that goes with three stars, except 2
star films have far more negatives than positives. But you can
still quite enjoy a 2 star film if you really love that
particular genre, actor/actress, director, etc. Maybe it’s
unfair to say because it hasn’t even come out yet, but I’m sure
Freddy vs. Jason would be a great example. Probably won’t
be any better than a 2 star film but, if you really love those
Friday the 13th films or the Nightmare on Elm Street
series, you may get some cheap enjoyment out of it.
1 star – This
rating goes to a film full of problems. Not really any reason to
waste your time with it. Maybe rent it or catch on TV if you are
really interested. A good example is The Truth About Charlie.
No stars –
Self-explanatory. Stay away from these films at all cost. There
are too many of these to mention.
So that’s my
rating system. Let me know if you need any more clarification.
I’m going to continue where I left off with the last edition,
more reviews.
Film Quickies
at the Movie Theater
28 Days Later
This is an
exciting, thought-provoking film on the madness in all of us.
But don’t believe the hype on it being some kind of horrifying
zombie film. 28 Days Later is an apocalyptic, survivor
film with a zombie spin to it. It has that same manic energy
that Trainspotting had, and is much more like that film
than any zombie film you’ve seen. It’s about the natural
violence infested in us, and what happens when our societal
niceties are stripped away. The acting, the dialogue, the
camerawork, and the story are all terrific. If you’re a Danny
Boyle fan, you’ll love it. Just don’t go into it expecting a
normal, zombies-on-the-loose, horror movie.
My rating –
3.5 stars out of 5
Hulk
You always hear
those stories on how the big studios meddle so badly with the
director on those big budget, tent-pole movies. Such as, how
they force the director to edit out tons of footage to make the
film move faster? Something like, less art, more action. Usually
this hurts those films and you wish they would have left in more
of the character development and secondary storylines.
Well, Ang Lee
must have had clear sailing with the studio. I’ve never seen a
film so badly in need of some editing since The Postman.
It is at least 40 minutes too long. There are numerous scenes
that should have been cut out. Unnecessary character
development, far too many scenes foreshadowing events to come,
too much explanation in the beginning and almost none at the
end, and too many characters staring longingly into the thin air
(including Hulk, “awe, Hulk is sensitive, how cute!”).
And it really
is too bad, because without the ridiculous length and the
dragging on of so many scenes, Hulk would have been a
great film. The acting is superb, the action scenes are truly
spectacular, and the story was perfectly dark and brooding. All
that talk on how the Hulk was going to look too cartoony was
thankfully wrong. The Hulk and all the action scenes involving
him are just breathtaking. Hulk could have been a great
one at about 100 minutes (not 138 minutes).
My rating –
2.5 stars out of 5
The Italian Job
Fun, breezy,
exciting heist film. There really isn’t much to this plot. It’s
your typical heist film; double-crossed thieves out for payback.
But the dialogue snaps, the action amazes, and the energy never
lets up. The performances are nothing great. Mark Walberg is his
typical one-note self, as is Charlize Theron, and Ed Norton is
kind of slumming it in this one. The supporting cast is
adequate, with Seth Green as the standout. But together, the
cast seems to have a certain chemistry or energy that adds to
the action and humor. If you like creative heist films, enjoy
action movies, and go to this with low expectations; you will
have a great time. You’ll leave with a smile on your face.
My rating –
2.5 stars out of 5
Hollywood
Homicide
Talk about a
film being just completely all over the place. Horribly dull,
action packed, hilarious, uncomfortably unfunny, blazingly
stupid dialogue, smart and witty dialogue, and completely
miscast. Yeah, exactly. It seems to fall right in line with
Harrison Ford’s performance. At times he is just right on. He
will nail the jokes and provide the right energy or lack
thereof, depending on the scene. This is when Hollywood
Homicide is a blast; it’s a great buddy cop movie. But then
Harrison Ford is just so damn awful in other scenes you feel
terrible for him; like watching his career ending right in front
of you. It’s so up and down like this, you feel tired after
sitting through it.
My rating – 2
stars out of 5
2 Fast 2
Furious
It’s goofy but
genuinely exciting and purely fun. I enjoyed this sequel much
more than I thought I would. It was a nice surprise to come out
of the theater with a smile on my face, because I went into it
thinking the worst. The best parts of it are obviously the
action scenes, which are exciting and full of energy. But the
most surprising part was the strong repertoire and comic energy
from Paul Walker and Tyrese. Now don’t get me wrong here, this
is no masterpiece. It is just a very enjoyable film for what it
is: popcorn-munching, action nonsense. The supporting cast is
horrible, the dialogue between everyone except Tyrese and Walker
is atrocious, and the story is just dumb. And if you didn’t
enjoy the first one, do not bother with this sequel. But if you
know what you’re about to watch and you enjoyed the first movie,
you will have a great time with this one.
My rating –
2.5 stars out of 5
Finding Nemo
I think this
movie is absolutely impossible not to like. I would love to hear
from anyone out there who didn’t completely enjoy every second
of this extremely clever, continuously funny, and heartwarming
animated film. The animation is not just flawless, it is utterly
spectacular. The characters just jump off the screen. It seems
like each and every scene was so perfectly written, animated,
and cast. They should just give it the Best Animated Film
Oscar right now because nothing will even come close. This film
is terrific the whole way through.
My rating – 4
stars out of 5
Wrong Turn
This one is a
deeply disturbing, creepy little slasher film. Let me say first
off, if you are not a fan of slasher films, do not (I repeat DO
NOT) see this. But if you enjoy the genre, you’ll enjoy it. The
acting is adequate, the dialogue is average, and the story is a
bit hazy. Nevertheless, Wrong Turn is a very creepy and
scary horror film; mostly due to the super human, deformed
creatures form the woods that have a nasty taste for human
flesh. There are some truly frightening scenes, like when the
main characters are trapped inside the creatures’ house while
they sleep. And there are some seriously disturbing scenes as
well. Like I said, if you like the slasher genre, check it out,
you’ll enjoy it. Otherwise, please don’t.
My rating –
2.5 stars out of 5
Film Quickies
at the Video Store
Below
– A
wasted opportunity. This could have been a taut, tense horror
film but, unfortunately, Below misses so many
opportunities to be truly scary it drags down the smart story.
The near-disaster sequences on board the submarine are very
intense and exciting, and the acting is all around superb
(especially Bruce Greenwood). The last twenty minutes of the
film are where the film really starts to fall apart.
My rating – 2
stars out of 5
They
–
This is one of the worst horror movies I ever sat through. I
almost turned it off five or six times but decided to stick it
out for my own morbid curiosity. It has an incomprehensible
story, horrid acting (I mean really horrid), ridiculous looking
CGI creatures that aren’t the least bit scary, and no nudity (I
mean give me something!). It’s as if a kid in middle school
made this. Oh wait—now I’m knocking on middle schoolers.
My rating – 0
stars out of 5
Invincible
– OK, I’ll admit it. I rented this horrible film
based on the critical acclaim on the DVD cover. Don’t ever do
that. This was one of the worst acted films I’ve seen in a long
time (save for Tim Roth’s very brief performance). The story was
actually interesting and it had the potential to be a decent
film. But the acting had me laughing hysterically at supposedly
serious parts. What a shame to waste such a talented actor like
Tim Roth on this garbage.
My rating – 1
star out of 5
Narc
–
Intense, gritty, disturbingly realistic undercover cop thriller.
It stars two of the most underrated actors around: Jason Patric
and Ray Liotta. And they both give ferociously great
performances. Liotta is amazing; he is like a lit firecracker
ready to explode at any second. And Patric is mesmerizing; you
can’t take your eyes of this great performance. They both should
have been nominated for Oscars. They are that good. The story
itself is a little familiar and the supporting cast is only
adequate, but the two leads make this film rise far above
average.
My rating –
3.5 stars out of 5
Pipe Dream
– A very funny and original independent film. The
first hour or so of Pipe Dream is so clever, so well
acted, and so funny that the final 30 minutes feel like a let
down. The story is so cleverly worked out that the implausible
elements of it seem possible. A plumber faking his way through
directing a movie is actually believable. The screenplay gets
all the details right and the actors are all great. If it
weren’t for the final act let down, this would be high on my
list of recommendations.
My rating –
2.5 stars out of 5
Just Married
– It’s a consistently unfunny sitcom-like farce
based solely around a bad honeymoon. And yet the honeymoon isn’t
even all that bad. The screenplay just didn’t take it as far as
it could. Also, the dialogue was just so atrociously bad—I was
feeling for the actors. Ashton Kutcher and Brittany Murphy have
a little chemistry, and if the screenplay was good I think they
could have pulled off the comedic parts well. There are maybe
two scenes were you see that potential. They just never get that
chance with this horrid film.
My rating – 2
stars out of 5
Deliver Us
From Eva
– Oh please, oh please deliver me from this
horrible piece of trash. Every single aspect (acting, directing,
screenplay, etc.) of this film is so bad I don’t even want to
get into it. Just do not waste your time with crap like this,
period.
My rating – 0
stars out of 5
I’ll leave off
every column with a movie recommendation (either currently in
theaters or on the video shelf).
My
recommendation for today:
The Good Thief
– Currently sitting in that black hole between theater release
and video, this is one of the best films of 2003. Rent it as
soon as it comes out. Of all the hundreds of movies out there
about thieves and heists, this is definitely in the top ten.
Nick Nolte is pitch perfect as the aging, drug addled, reluctant
thief who is pulled back into it for one more job. And the
supporting cast is spot on perfect. But as good as the acting
is, it’s the story itself and the witty, intelligent dialogue
that truly makes The Good Thief a great film. You leave
this movie on a high. It should be considered at awards time
next year.
Talk to you
again soon,
Greg
Malmborg
gregm99@hotmail.com
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