I, Robot
(Starring: Will Smith, Bridget Moynahan, Bruce Greenwood, James
Cromwell and Shia LeBeouf. Director: Alex Proyas)
Cheesy trailer
aside, there is one reason and one reason alone to see “I, Robot,” and
that is the presence of “Dark City” mastermind Proyas. Based on the writings of Isaac
Asimov, don’t expect the director’s vision to resemble anything close
to the jokey, self-mocking sci-fi mystery the early ads make it appear
to be. I mean, this is the man responsible for a surreal science
fiction masterpiece more groundbreaking and original than “The Matrix”
(which just so happened to be released later the same year) and I
count on him to make this something to remember. Of course, I could be
wrong – the presence of Smith doesn’t help ease my mind – but don’t
count on it, Proyas is one of the most iconoclastic and visionary
directors working today. (Nationwide July 16.)
King Arthur (Starring: Clive Owen, Keira Knightley, Stellan Skarsgård, Stephen
Dillan and Ray Winstone. Director: Antoine Fuqua)
For me,
nothing will ever quite compare to John Boorman’s classic “Excalibur,”
but I’m such an Arthurian junkie any new take on the tale gets me
excited. Heck, I was even sweating bullets for the Sean
Connery/Richard Gere groaner “First Knight,” and no, I’ll never admit
to anticipating that pile of cinematic drudgery ever again thank you
very much. Now comes producer Jerry Bruckheimer (“Pirates of the
Caribbean”) and director Fuqua’s (“Training Day”) version of the
time-honored tale, supposedly going to the story’s roots and bringing
the true tale of Arthur and his valiant knights to the big screen. And
while it all can’t help but look like a pale “Gladiator” variation,
with the supremely sexy Owen starring as the Excalibur-wielding title
character, I know I’ll still be first in line no matter what.
(Nationwide July 7.)
The Village (Starring: Joaquin Phoenix, Adrien Bordy, William Hurt and Sigourney
Weaver. Director: M. Night Shyamalan)
With a
combined gross of over $500 million, Shyamalan’s last three pictures
(“The Sixth Sense,” “Unbreakable,” “Signs”) have won over critics and
audiences alike with their combination of scares and smarts. Now the
directors journeys back to the tail-end of the 19th
Century, setting his story in a tiny Pennsylvania township who’s
residence have brokered an uneasy truce with the monstrous residents
of the ungainly woods that surround them. Like all his recent films,
“The Village” boasts one of the spookiest, most unnerving trailers
ever devised. If that doesn’t get audiences lining up, than that track
record sure as heck should.
(Nationwide July 30.)
AUGUST
Collateral
(Starring: Tom Cruise, Jamie Foxx, Jada Pinkett Smith and Javier
Bardem. Director: Michael Mann)
Cruise as a
full-out bad guy? Foxx ditching the comedic histrionics to play a
bedeviled everyman? Mann returning to crime? How could this NOT be a
must-see? Well, there is the little fact that the director has shot so
much film (a reported few hundred hours worth) that he’s having
difficulty editing it all together. Or that Cruise and Mann supposedly
feuded over just how dark the actor should take his contract killer
character. But in a summer filled with the usual and the ho-hum, I’ll
follow the director “Last of the Mohicans” and “Heat” anywhere, even
over the deep end. For me, this is my most anticipated film of the
summer, maybe the year, and I can hardly contain my glee waiting to
discover how it all turns out.
OTHER NOTABLES
The chiller “Open Water” (July) which has been making
people squirm since it’s debut at Sundance, Kevin Cline channeling
Cole Porter in “De-Lovely” (June), the unbelievably dank and
depressing sounding “We Don’t Live Here Anymore” (August) with Mark
Ruffalo and Naomi Watts, “Shrek 2” (May) and the return of Mike
Meyer’s jollygreen giant – err – ogre, ”Y Tu Mamá También” director
Alfonso Cuarón’s darker take on the Harry Potter universe with “The
Prisoner of Azkaban” (June), Matt Damon’s return to being Bourne in
“The Bourne Supremacy” (July), Ethan Hawke and Julie Deply’s reunion
in Richard Linklater’s “Before Sunset” (May), the World War II love
story “The Notebook” (June) with James Garner and Gena Rowlands,
Nicole Kidman trying to escape becoming one of “The Stepford Wives”
(June), Denzel Washington and Meryl Streep trying to re-ignite “The
Manchurian Candidate” (July).
ARE YOU KIDDING?
Do we really need Halle Berry prancing around as
“Catwoman” (July)? Or what about “Alien vs. Predator” (August), have
people really been clamoring for this supposed battle royal? Or what
about the Wayans brothers playing “White Chicks” (June)? Is seeing it
really necessary or can I just have my eyelashes plucked out one at a
time instead? I could also care less about Hugh Jackman and “Van
Helsing,” if only because it is written and directed by “The Mummy”
mastermind Stephen Sommers. It and it’s sequel rank as some of the
most rancid moviemaking I’ve seen in the last ten years, so this
monster mash will have to work really hard to get into my good graces.
Then there is
Richard Gere and Jennifer Lopez treading all over “Shall We Dance”
(August), two-stepping their way through this remake of the Japanese
charmer under the direction of Peter Chelsom. Making me endure
“Serendipity” was bad enough, but now Chelsom has his mitts on one of
my favorite imports of the ‘90’s. I just cringe at the thought of what
he, Gere and Lopez have done to it.
DEAD ON ARRIVAL
My thoughts are that the before-mentioned “Mindhunters”
(August) starring Val Kilmer and Christian Slater will be hard pressed
to find an audience. Even worse off is “Thunderbirds” (August), a
live-action interpretation of the cult favorite ‘60’s British
television series starring Bill Paxton and Ben Kinsley. I can imagine
spending $60 million on lots of interesting sounding projects, but
turning a puppet-filled show about outer-space soaring secret agents
isn’t one of them. My guess is audiences will feel the same.
IF ONLY BECAUSE…
it’s
the last time we’ll see him on something other than “Meet the Press”
for quite some time. California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger helps
Jackie Chan get “Around the World in 80 Days” (June), playing a sultan
with a harem larger than his state’s GDP. If this is indeed the last
time the Gübenator appears in a movie, at least he has the smarts to
poke fun at himself and his supposed womanizing. Granted, he might not
even get the joke, in which case we can throw “smarts” right out the
window and start praying the Earthquake State comes to their senses.
AT THE BOX OFFICE
Last year I proved to
be especially bad at this (who knew Johnny Depp doing a Keith Richards
impersonation would be so popular?), but that doesn’t mean I won’t try
my hand again anyhow. Here are the ten films I think will rule the box
office this summer, please keep the rotten tomato pelting to a
minimum.
1. SPIDER-MAN 2 - $320 million
2. SHREK 2 - $300 million
3. HARRY POTTER AND THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN - $280 million
4. VAN HELSING - $200 million
5. THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW - $180 million
6. TROY - $165 million
7. THE TERMINAL - $150 million
8. THE VILLAGE - $130 million
9. I, ROBOT - $125 million
10. THE CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK - $120 million
Top Potential Sleepers (in order of likely success)
1. COLLATERAL
2. ANCHORMAN
3. KING ARTHUR
4. THE BOURNE SUPREMACY
5. AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 DAYS
6. CATWOMAN
7. PRINCESS DIARIES 2: THE ROYAL ENGAGEMENT
8. GARFIELD: THE MOVIE
9. THE STEPFORD WIVES
10. NEW YORK MINUTE
11. ALIEN vs. PREDATOR
12. WHITE CHICKS
13. DODGEBALL: A TRUE UNDERDOG STORY
14. THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE
FINAL THOUGHTS
I admit I’m not
especially looking forward to this summer at the movies. Little gets
me excited or worked up. There are far too many sequels and remakes,
too many big budget behemoths made by directors with too little
talent. But there are bright spots and, like any year, there will be
surprises that make me giddy. What those surprises and bright spots
will be is anybody’s guess. Time, as well as audience appreciation,
will tell for sure. Until then, happy Summer Movie Season. Just make
sure and save some Diet Coke and popcorn for me.
