MOVIE REVIEW

Along Came Polly  (2004)

Starring: Ben Stiller, Jennifer Aniston

Director: John Hamburg

Rating: PG-13

Studio: Universal

Release Date: 01.16.04

Review Posted: 01.16.04

Spoilers: Minor

By Sara M. Fetters

"Polly" Not Worth Following

Reuben Feffer (Ben Stiller) is a risk assessor and, as such, lives his life taking the fewest chances possible. He knows how likely it is for a person to fall through a grate in the sidewalk and that only one in six men wash their hands after leaving the bathroom. So it’s rather a shock he’s taking the plunge into marriage with the quirky Lisa Kramer (Debra Messing). Marriage is one of the greatest leaps of faith a person can take, and for a guy used to minimizing risks saying, “I do,” is quite a feat.

Granted, after Reuben catches Lisa shagging a buff French scuba instructor (Hank Azaria) on the first night of their honeymoon, maybe living a life devoid of gamble isn’t such a bad thing after all. He doesn’t understand what happened. Reuben loves Lisa, so to be rebuffed so clearly on what was supposed to be one of the happiest nights of his life almost more than he can take. Yet, returning to New York and his job with his tail seemingly stuck firmly between his legs, the nebbish assessor isn’t completely ready to give up on love. After running into old Junior High classmate Polly Prince (Jennifer Aniston), Feffer decides to throw caution to the wind and ask the woman out on a date. She was in the chess club after all, what risk could there possible be?

Polly isn’t the same Model UN cadet he once idolized, though. Instead, she’s a wild woman prone to taking life as a giant game of chance, apt to completely reinvent her life on a whim. Maybe, just maybe, this unbridled female windstorm is exactly what Reuben needs to break out and start living life anew. But when love starts spreading its wings, will it be the stolid Feffer or the capricious Prince who attempts to fly the coup, scared silly as to what a life together could ultimately mean?

Thus is born “Along Came Polly,” the latest comedy from the mind of “Zoolander” and “Meet the Parents” scribe John Hamburg. Directing for the first time since the independent misfire “Safe Men,” the filmmaker combines elements of “Breakfast at Tiffany’s,” “There’s Something About Mary” and “Meet the Parents,” creating a stew that’s oddly under-whelming. This is a movie where the laughs seem like they should be there, goodness knows the cast is game, yet for the most part they never seem to come. It is a tired, rather rote motion picture that wastes some of the best comedic talent out there, mind-numbingly going through the motions towards a conclusion anticipated from the very first frame.

He does stage some rather inspired sight gags, though, chief of which taking place in a surreal art showing of giant baby bunny heads attached to plump toddler legs. I also liked a bit in a Salsa club, Stiller and Hamburg working in tandem to stage a rather loony tango. In fact, the whole visual look to “Along Came Polly” is great, the director and up and coming cinematographer Seamus McGarvey (“The Hours”) deserving kudos for their irreverent inventiveness behind the camera. If only it all served a greater purpose. For those who know what a blank slate is, here is a blank movie going nowhere fast but taking its time getting there all the same.

The actors do try, especially the great Philip Seymour Hoffman playing struggling actor Sandy Lyle. He lives in the shadow of a Brat Pack-ish film called Crocodile Tears in which, as a teen, he had a memorable scene involving bagpipes. It’s been downhill for the slovenly reprobate since. He’s even gone so far as to hire a team of cameramen to follow him around for a potential E-Hollywood True Story, even though there isn’t a chance the network would run the darn thing. Hoffman is wonderful, infusing things with humor and pathos all at once. Full of quirks, the actor makes Sandy the only fleshed-out human being in the picture, his character’s heart-of-gold readily apparent underneath the grubby façade.

I also liked veteran actor Bryan Brown, playing billionaire industrialist and extreme sport enthusiast Leland Van Lew. Making his first appearance in a Hollywood production in ten years, the star of “F/X” seems to be having a blast as the ribald corporate leader, making the most of his screen time. Too bad the same can’t be said for Alec Baldwin or (a surprisingly buff and almost sexy) Hank Azaria. I love both of these guys, but they’re saddled with such under-written characters there is almost nothing either can do about it. Both show up early on sporting some of the worst, oddly out-of-place accents I’ve ever heard throwing me completely out of the picture before it even had a chance to get going. Baldwin, in particular, is awful, and what with this and his dreadful turn in “The Cat and the Hat” I’m tempted to send a memo to the Academy to not nominate him for his spectacular work in “The Cooler” just out of spite.

As for Stiller and Aniston, I’m not really sure what to say. Both are nice, I guess, but not especially exceptional. I kept waiting for some spark, some genuinely endearing bit of chemistry to flash between the two but it never seemed to pass. Not that they don’t try, Stiller especially tweaking and twisting his nebbish every-man persona on its ear and honestly earning a laugh here and there. I’d like to say the same for Aniston, but really she’s just playing her “Friends” character Rachel out on her own and without Ross, Phoebe or Joey to pal around with. In fact, I got the feeling she was bored with the part wishing, much like me, “Along Came Polly” would just come to end.

Rating: êê  (out of 4)

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