Serviceable - yet play-by-play - remake of the '70s comedy classic

Remakes are such a tricky creature in the cinematic world. Why bother remaking something that has an audience that loves the original in the first place is the $64,000 question most average filmgoers would be saying aloud, and I'm hard-pressed to disagree. If it ain't broke, why fix it? But if you are going to do it, perhaps you should make it better, right?

In the latest Hollywood misgivings about damn-to-hell-what-the-audience-wants-let's simply-recycle-a-hit-from-the-past-and-worry-about-the-consequences-later offering the result is a practically serviceable yet play-by-play 'safe' remaking of the comedy classic that starred the lovably gruff, messed-bed persona of the beleaguered Walter Matthau in all his schlumpy glory as the grizzled, beer-drinking never-was of a big-league ballplayer reduced to cleaning swimming pools in sunny Southern California musing about his one time only appearance in the majors while managing a ragtag little league ball team of misfits, losers and foul-language spewing tykes which unearthed a new sports themed subgenre: the pathetic team of misfits, losers and foul-language spewing tykes which have been seen in everything from The Mighty Ducks to the recent Rebound with its pedestrian scripts and bathroom humor that has run stale since the original Bears’ first unworthy sequel!

Well now indie cum Hollywood darling Richard Linklater (School of Rock, Dazed and Confused) comes equipped with a faithful yet raunchy enough screenplay by Bad Santa scribes Glenn Ficarra and John Requa who manage to update the Bill Lancaster script and Michael Ritchie's direction with enough pallid political incorrectness (except for one glaring omission in one of the lines spoken by the most foul player, Tanner Boyle (which I'm going to do likewise in fear of rebuttal; yeah, that's the times we live in folks, but dammit the line is funny and it's a JOKE!) and sexual humor to make the most hardened go-figure curmudgeon chuckle.

Billy Bob Thornton fills Matthau's shoes as Morris Buttermaker, a drunken ex-ball player who is now an exterminator here but still a souse with a lousy demeanor, who is coerced by an attorney child-rights activist named Liz Whitehood (the sexy Marcia Gay Harden) and an undisclosed check to coach the Bears, the worst team ever assembled (thanks to the political correctness we now have an Indian nerd and a chubby kid in a wheelchair rounding out the token black kid, two Mexican brothers and the fat kid who is on Atkins and not a junk food junkie).

Buttermaker enlists the aid of Amanda Whurlitzer (Sammi Kraft), a tweener pitching sensation he knew from his ill-fated relationship with her mom, when he realizes the kids really deserve more than the shellacking they received in their debut to the much-hated rivals, the Yankees led by Roy Bullock (Greg Kinnear substituting yuppie weaseldom from Vic Morrow's gruff general bullying) who wants Buttermaker to take a hike.

Also tacked on is grungy trouble making Kelly Leak (Jeff Davies) who Bullock can't stomach but proves to be a true athlete in power-hitting and displaying a keen touch for the outfield to boot as Buttermaker suddenly realizes the Bears may actually have a shot at the championship title.

The film pretty much stays fast and loose but connect-the-dots similar to its original (even in an uncanny shot-by-shot of Leak's batting practice homer gliding into an actual game!) Not necessarily a bad thing but even though the screenwriters give Buttermaker a more active sexual life (sporting a bodacious babe here and there and even taking the kids to Hooters for a post-game celebration is inspired) it makes one wonder where it could've gone had they gone the R-rated route (which frankly the original came close to skirting as well).

Thornton's sardonic Southern fried delivery is priceless - he's more chicken-fried steak than Matthau's salisbury and elicits enough contempt to distill the easily found treacle bubbling below (making the kids into winners) and Linklater, a personal fave of mine, seems to have found a unique niche: making kid films adult friendly.

While it isn't an instant classic like the first flick - I blame that for the frankly carbon copies of the kids shown here - to wit, Tatum O'Neal actually emoted as Amanda in the '76 version! - (hell the Tanner kid looks and sounds just like the first one's it's scary!) but they seem to be having a ball. The Bad News Bears is not a homer but more like a ground rule double that had triple written all over it.

Film Rating: êê1/2  (out of 4)