R E V I E W S

 

Closet, The (2001)

 

Starring: Daniel Auteuil, Thierry Lhermitte, Gérard Depardieu, Michèle Laroque, Michel Aumont.
Director: 
Francis Veber

Rating: R

Studio: Miramax

Review Posted: 7.5.01

Rating: 1.5/4

 

By Sara M. Fetters.

 

"French Farce The Closet a Door Best Left Closed"

 

The famed French director Francis Veber has made his mark with some of the great French comedies of the past three-plus decades. The Tall Blonde Man with One Black Shoe, Les Compères, La Cage aux Folles and most recently the utterly hilarious The Dinner Game are all due to his comedic genius. In a way, he’s also responsible for a string of completely awful American films remade from his classics such as the Robin Williams/Billy Crystal turkey Father’s Day, Richard Pryor’s abysmal The Toy and – a film which he remade disastrously himself – the Martin Short/Nick Nolte comedy Three Fugitives. (Not included, Mike Nichols’ recent remake of La Cage aux Folles starring Robin Williams and Nathan Lane The Birdcage which actually improved upon the original.)

 

Now making its way across the Atlantic is Veber latest sex comedy – a smash in his home country – The Closet which attempts to satirize homophobia, corporate policy and individual ethics all while keeping the audience rolling in the aisles. While there are laughs to be had, on a whole Veber’s new film is an unfunny and offensive disaster, wasting a truckload of rich comedic talent in the process.

 

François Pignon (Daniel Auteuil in a rare comedic role) works as an accountant at a condom factory. He’s the type of dull, quiet fellow who gets pushed out of the company photo and nobody notices. In fact, Pignon’s about to be laid off for no other reason than he’s quiet and boring. Crushed when learning of this dismissal, he contemplates suicide when his new next door neighbor Belone (Michel Aumont) comes up with a solution: start a rumor at the factory that he’s gay. That way, for fear of being slapped with a lawsuit for discrimination, his employers won’t be able to fire him.

 

Of course, this simple ploy works beautifully. Co-workers who once thought of Pignon as a nobody are intrigued by their quiet co-worker’s “secret” lifestyle. His ex-wife (Alexandra Vandernoot) who left him for no particular reason other than he was boring finds herself rethinking that assessment. The accountant’s supervisor (Michèle Laroque) can’t believe it and begins to seductively tempt Pignon in hopes of revealing him as a fraud. Worst of all, bigoted sod Santini (Gerard Depardieu), who was instrumental in his layoff, now has to prove to his bosses that he’s willing to be friendly with Pignon in order to keep his own job. Suddenly, the shy and quiet accountant is the most talked about person at the factory and he’s not sure keeping his job is worth all of the attention.

 

There are some delicious comedic opportunities here and it is safe to say the Veber’s screenplay misses almost all of them. The entire film plays upon the basest of homosexual stereotypes but it doesn’t know what to do with almost any of them. In fact, when two factory mechanics break into Pignon’s apartment complex at the behest of a female office worker and beat him senseless The Closet stops being embarrassing and simply becomes insulting.

 

Give the cast credit, though, for they are more than game to go through the film’s comedic paces. Depardieu in particular has a glorious time playing up his own rough and ready image. His self possessed, preening Santini is wonderful and The Closet could really use more of him. The few scenes that really hum are due to the glorious interplay between himself and Auteuil. They really hint at what the film could have been had Veber let the movie ride on their coat tales instead of trying to mix so many other ingredients into one pot.

 

Aside from that, The Closet is a strong case of a missed opportunity. Veber has shown a knack for just this sort of satire in many of his other films but it just never comes off here. Let’s just hope there is no American remake of this one. If the prior track record of Veber remakes is any indication, it could only be worse.

 

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