I don't know what happened last night. I must've walked into The Twilight Zone or something. But, you see, what happened was I walked out of a movie starring David Arquette and I loved it. Weird, huh?

The movie in question was Eight Legged Freaks, the first highly anticipated giant spider movie since, I don't know, the beginning of time. The giant spider genre, which includes such, um, classics as Earth vs. The Spider and The Giant Spider Invasion (both of 'em) is just a small corner of a bigger genre known as THE GIANT THING GENRE. It's a well-known fact that most giant thing films turn out to be smelly crapfest. Movies such as The Beginning of the End (giant grasshoppers), Them! (Giant ants), and The Giant Gila Monster (self-explanatory) and the aforementioned big spider flicks are usually destined for MST3K-dom. And they're well deserving of that position. However, these fact don't bode well for the fate of Eight Legged Freaks.

The difference with this movie is that it KNOWS what it is. It knows that it's a giant spider movie, and it knows that no ones going to REALLY take a giant spider movie seriously, so it makes a point to do the same thing. And that's why it's so darn much fun.

The real success behind Eight Legged Freak isn't David Arquette (obviously) or his lovely former-MTV babe co-star Kari Wuhrer or the far-too-talented-for-this-kinda-thing Scarlett Johansson. The credit can't go to director Ellroy Elkayem (who's previously work was probably a McDonald's commercial), who brings little to no style to the movie. It can't go to Elkayem and his co-writer Jesse Alexander for their script because they forgot to include an actual story. Where the credit does go to, you guessed it, is the spiders.

The special effect crew has done a great job of making these giant spiders believable (something that's never happened in any giant thing movie), but somebody, somewhere decided that they'd also give these spiders a little personality.

If they'd been trying to actually make a scary spider movie, then they'd have just let us hear the click-itty pitter-patter of their little exoskeleton feet. That would've been creepy, but these guys weren't going for creepy. They were going for funny, so instead of just a little pitter-patter (which we still get), we also get a strange little screeching sound from these things. There are certain scenes where we hear a spider laugh, or cough, or do some other weird thing that no real spider would ever do (I'm assuming).

In this movie there is, of course, the little know-it-all kid who must always appear in these kinds of films. At one point he says, "You won't believe me 'coz I'm a kid. They never believe the kid." And he's right, and as much of a spider expert as he is, it also seems that he's seen a sci-fi blockbuster or two in his time (he's seen watching Them! at one point in the movie). And with that self-realization, this movie tells us that yeah, it knows it's cheesy. It knows it can't be any more than a goofy b-movie so it relishes in that and has a little fun with it.

Are there plot holes? Yeah, of course, and it's kind of to be expected in a movie like this. I don't think anyone's really going to care because they're just having way too much fun watching the spiders! And of course, as is always the case in these movies, the screenwriters do try to put various stupid sub-plots in the story that really have absolutely nothing to do with the real reason we saw this movie in the first place!

One scene that deserves to be noted is the dirt bike scene that's scene only briefly in any of the trailers that I've seen. It serves as a bit of a turning point in the movie. Before this scene (which is about a half hour into the movie), there was really no action and the only spiders we'd seen were of almost-normal size. But in this scene (which has the funniest use of a stun gun that I've ever seen), when we see the giant jumper spiders creep over the hill, we know what we're in for. It's probably the funniest scene in the movie (James noted that he'd never thought it'd be so much fun to see dirt bikers be eaten). It's an exciting and hilarious scene that's worth the price of admission alone.

All in all, if you're looking for a movie that's going to make you think, ponder the wonders of life and send you through an entire array of emotions, you should see Road to Perdition. But if you're into fun self-conscious cheesiness, and lots and lots of spider violence, then by all means go check out Eight Legged Freaks! It's really some of the most pure fun that I've had at the movies since Attack of the Clones. Now if only they'd make a great giant wasp movie, I'd be able to die happy.

HUH? (sort of spoilers: read at your own discretion) In the end when the spiders meet their inevitable end, are we really expected to assume that every spider in the town was killed that way? Or maybe the screenwriters knew what they were doing and were setting us up for the even more inevitable sequel? And does it really count as a victory when 75% of the town's population has become spider food? Ah well, it was still a hell of a good time!