MOVIE REVIEW

Freddy vs. Jason  (2003)

Starring: Robert Englund, Ken Kirzinger, Kelly Rowland
Director: Ronny Yu

Rating: R

Studio: New Line Cinema

Release Date: 8.15.03

Review Posted: 8.15.03

Spoilers: Minor

By Sara Michelle Fetters

When Freddy Met Jason – It’s Not a Love Story

Poor Freddy (Robert Englund). He hasn’t had a chance to mangle or kill anyone in over four years, his last dreamy moonlight attack used to dispatch young Lori Campbell’s (Monica Keena) mother back in the same house on Elm Street everything started 19 years past. Since then, the local authority have discovered a way to zap Freddy’s power, institutionalizing all those that dream about him and force feeding them strong psychotropic drugs to bring a cessation to their nightmares.

Soon, the entire town has forgotten the name “Freddy Krueger” even existed and this is really pissing the burn-scarred homicidal killer off. If no one remembers his name, then no one can be afraid of him; if their not afraid of him, then he has no power. What’s a poor hallucinatory phantasm to do except unleash a maniacal killer who’s not trapped by the power of the mind on the children of Elm Street, the Crystal Lake slaughterer Jason Vorhees (Ken Kirzinger).

At first, Freddy has no problems controlling Jason through his dreams, using the specter of his beloved dead mother Pamela (Paula Shaw) to keep him in check. In fact, the silently bloody executioner is unbelievably successful, the name of “Freddy” once more filtering through the town like a virus. But soon Freddy comes to the realization that Jason doesn’t take orders from anyone, and once set loose he won’t put down his machete for no one, no how. Now, in order to save the children of Elm Street so he can kill them, the unstoppable dream wraith will have to face the unkillable butchering machine mano a mano, and the battle will range all the way from Freddy’s dreamy domain to Jason’s dilapidated home at Crystal Lake.

I’m not quite sure what to say about “Freddy vs. Jason” other that it delivers exactly what the title promises. The final confrontation between the duo takes up a good third of the movie’s near 90-minute running time as they hack and slash their way from the dream world into the real world, decapitating and eviscerating any normal person unlucky enough to get in their way. Ronny Yu (director of the Hong Kong classic “The Bride with White Hair” as well as another horror franchise revival “Bride of Chucky”) stages this battle with maniacal aplomb, readily giving into the audience’s most base desires to see these two lacerate and rip away at one another with unmitigated glee.

Can I criticize “Freddy vs. Jason?” Sure, why not? I mean, the acting by most involved is relatively non-existent (note to Destiny’s Child singer Kelly Rowland: don’t quite your day job) and the human characters in Damian Shannon and Mark Swift’s screenplay have all the intelligence of a gnat. In fact, there is not one morally redeeming value to this god forsaken blood-splattered affair, with nary a moment that could even remotely be considered as being something that raises the art of cinema.

So what? Anyone going to see this movie isn’t going to care an iota about the acting or intelligence of the characters, and they really aren’t going to give a flying twat if the art of cinema is raised to any level outside of the bar lofting above the local sewer. No, all fans are going to want to know is whether or not the body count (and flow of blood) is high and if the two titan’s final fight is a showstopper.

No worries on that front. Yu knows what the audience wants and he delivers it in spades. If anything, “Freddy vs. Jason” is a triumph of stunt design and brutal action choreography. Staying true to the villain’s motis apperandi; Freddy is the Machiavellian manipulator who toys with his victims deepest fears before putting them under his knifed-fingers while Jason is the Great White Shark of serial killers, mindlessly dispatching each victim with a bloody proficiency that borders on maudlin; Yu takes this titanic slug fest to a level not seen since Godzilla whacked a scaly tail in King Kong’s direction. It’s mindlessly entertaining on a base level, and even if there isn’t a grain of substance to it I still couldn’t help but smile around the time Freddy started unleashing some vicious Kung Fu only to have Jason whap at him some more with his hemoglobin-smeared machete.

What else is there to say? If you’re interested in this sort of thing – and you all know who you are – than by all means go. There are one or two surprises along the way (someone does actually win – well, sort of – have to be ready for the obligatory sequel after all) and there is an unmitigated comic book abandon to it all that’s borderline infectious. Not a good movie by any means, but inherently watchable in a despicably and un-redeemingly awful B-movie sort of way. What more did you expect?

Rating: êê   (out of 4)

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