"Don’t Panic. Well…maybe just a little."

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book.  It’s a fantastic radio show. It’s a wonderfully entertaining, if somewhat cheesy, miniseries. But sadly, it is only a substandard movie.  Now, when I say that the film is substandard, I don’t mean to say that The Hitchhiker’s Guide is a bad movie. It’s just not a very good one. And it is especially not a film that lives up to its previous incarnations. 

The story of The Hitchhiker’s Guide is really the story of everyday man Arthur Dent (Martin Freeman.) Rescued mere moments before Earth is destroyed in order to make a hyperspace bypass, Arthur finds himself being lead from misadventure to misadventure by his friend Ford Prefect (Mos Def), a traveling researcher for the Guide, who found himself stranded on Earth for 15 years while doing research for the revised edition of the Guide.  After being thrown out of an airlock, the two run into Zaphod Beeblebrox (Sam Rockwell,) the President of the Galaxy and Trillian (Zooey Deschanel,) his human girlfriend.  Together, the four find themselves searching for the planet of Magrathea, where the secret to the question of the Life, the Universe, and Everything can be found.

While the radio, book, and television versions all differ from each other in many significant ways, the movie differs from the three previous versions in ways that make the other significant differences completely arbitrary. However, before getting into what was wrong with the film, it’s best to first say what worked well in the film, before going over what caused the film to falter.

First of all, the plot of the film is still close to the books. Granted, there are HUGE detours that are made, some of which work for the best and some do not.

All the actors are good in their roles.  Martin Freeman is a great Arthur Dent, Mos Def is wonderful as Ford, Sam Rockwell is absolutely wonderful as the egotistical Zaphod, Deschanel’s Trillian is a much more defined character here than in any of the previous versions, and Marvin, The Paranoid Android, is voice wonderfully by Alan Rickman and played most depressingly by Warwick Davis.

There are wonderful tributes to the TV miniseries, such as the cameo of the original Marvin on the Vogon home world and the inclusion of the opening of the miniseries as the introduction of the Hitchhiker’s Guide.

The Arthur/Trillian romance is well done and works within the context of the film.  The reveal of Magrathea’s factory floor is spectacular.  The subtle appearances of Douglas Adams’ face are wonderful treats.  The film stays in the spirit of the books. It is fun and has some very funny moments.

Now, that being said, here’s what’s wrong with the film:

All the wordplay humor is gone.  Granted, the film is nearly two hours long, but all the best comedic moments from the book have been removed. Without these, the film feels empty.

Again with the humor – What happened to “Mostly Harmless?” One of the greatest jokes in the book is that Ford spent 15 years on Earth and the best he could come up with to add to Earth’s entry in the guide (“Harmless”) is the word “Mostly.”

If you have never heard of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, it possible that you may end up leaving the theater more confused than when you came in.  The movie moves from misadventure to misadventure at a pace that might overwhelm and loose some viewers.

Even though all the actors are good, the chemistry between them doesn’t always work.

The two new characters are added, the messianic Humma Kavula (John Malkovich), and the Vice President of the Galaxy (or whatever she’s supposed to be,) and neither one seems to have any real purpose.  They barely move the plot along. In fact, Humma Kavula’s storyline is pretty much abandoned by the end of the film.

Just why do the mice want Arthur’s brain? If you’ve read the book, heard the radio show, or seen the miniseries, you’d know why.

There are more things about the film that do not work at all, as well as things that are wonderfully brilliant, however they never meet in a way that is fully satisfactory.  It’s a film that will, most likely, be either loved or hated by those who are familiar to the story.  For those who are unfamiliar, it’d be best to either start with the book, or possibly the miniseries. Then give the movie a shot.

Film Rating: êê  (out of 4)