MOVIE REVIEW

In-Laws, The  (2003)

Starring: Renee Zellweger, Ewan McGregor
Director: Andrew Fleming

Rating: PG-13

Studio: Warner Bros.

Release Date: 5.23.03

Review Posted: 5.22.03

Spoilers: Minor

By Sara Michelle Fetters

"In-Laws Stranded at the Altar"

There are things that simply just do not need to be done. Tofurkey comes to mind, as does bringing back Fame as a reality television show. Also not needing to be done, remaking Arthur Hiller’s 1979 Peter Falk/Alan Arkin minor classic comedy The In-Laws. But, in a world where someone can convince Jennifer Love Hewitt she’s the ideal choice to play Audrey Hepburn in a TV biography, maybe this isn’t the worst thing that can happen in Hollywood. And by casting the wonderful Albert Brooks (Mother) in the Arkin role, it could be downright inspired.

Could be, but it’s not, for director Andrew Fleming’s (Dick) remake never quite comes together despite the actor’s valiant efforts.

Brooks plays Jerry Peyser, a mild-mannered and conservative podiatrist putting the finishing touches on his daughter Melissa’s (Lindsay Sloane, Bring It On) wedding. Jerry has it planned to a “T,” and it’s much to his daughter’s chagrin for she just wants a small gathering on a beach to wed her long-time beau Mark Tobias (Ryan Reynolds, National Lampoon’s Van Wilder), with only their parents present to witness the event.

One problem: no one has even met Mark’s parents. His mother Judy (Candice Bergen, Miss Congeniality) is slightly on the unhinged side and it’s no guarantee that she’ll even show. But that’s better that his father Steve (Michael Douglas, It Runs in the Family). He’s scheduled multiple different dinners and drink dates with Jerry and his wife Katherine (Maria Ricossa, Harvard Man), only to mysteriously break them due to urgent business in his duties as a copier salesman.

Finally, Steven is able to make a meet with his daughter-in-law-to-be’s family, dragging them to an inner city Asian restaurant where giant boa constrictor tops the menu. It’s also where the timid Jerry starts to learn the truth about Steven while eavesdropping in the bistro’s restroom. It turns out Steve isn’t the jet-setting copier salesman he’s let on, owning more to the career path of James Bond than he does to Joe Citizen.

Soon, Jerry is running around the world with the erstwhile copier guy, meeting up with international arms dealers in France and parachuting from the top of a hotel back stateside. He even gets an alias, Steve putting him on the spot when he tells a particularly nasty killer named Thibodoux (David Suchet, A Perfect Murder) that he is the infamous Black Cobra, instantly earning the cutthroat’s affections.

What’s a father to do? Does he try to talk his daughter out of marrying the hyperactive lunatic’s son, or does he stay out of Melissa’s affairs and not pass the sins of the father on to the son. It’s almost too much for the neurotic foot doctor to bare, culminating in a wedding ceremony that even despite Jerry’s Martha Stewart-esque planning can’t help but be hit by a tidal wave of unexpected circumstances.

The In-Laws actually starts out well enough, recovering from a particularly silly opening featuring Douglas and assistant Robin Tunney (End of Days) escaping from an Eastern European country as soon as Brooks enters the picture. In fact, for a good thirty minutes or so I was under this movie’s silly spell. The duo play off each other extremely well, Brook’s paranoid observations fueling the film’s engine a great deal of the way.

Unfortunately, it just doesn’t last. Douglas, in particular, overplays his hand early on. The glory of Falk’s portrayal in the original was that his ultimate identity was as clueless to the audience as it was to Arkin. Here, Douglas goes so far over the top and tips his hand so evidently towards the side of good, that the only thing that’s clueless is how it takes Brook’s Jerry so long to realize it himself. Douglas is zany when he should be restrained, jubilant when he should be serious, tipping his hat so often that jokes that could almost pass for witty instead come across with all the subtlety of the proverbial bull in the china shop.

Granted, Nat Mauldin (Doctor Dolittle) and Ed Solomon’s (Levity) updating of Andrew Bergman’s (The Freshman) original screenplay doesn’t help. They’ve got Douglas spouting lines like, “We’ve got the FBI on us like trailer trash on Velveeta,” and it’s hard to imagine any actor trying to deliver zingers like that with anything approaching cleverness. It also doesn’t help that Suchet’s villain is so tiredly rote that he borders on boring and includes a homosexual streak that reeks of desperation. I couldn’t help but think that we’d abandoned – save for the occasional macho Jerry Brukheimer film – this type of homophobic comedy back in the 80’s. Yet, here are Maudlin and Solomon resurrecting just that type of characterization, effectively doing their best to erase any sort of good feelings I could have had towards their script.

Not that he’s the only supporting cast member let down by the duo. While Sloane and Reynolds do what they can with their overly-cute characters, Bergen is stranded with an under-written harpy of a role better left to a canceled television sitcom. A distinctively versatile comedic presence, she’s got nothing to do here but be shrill and unappealing. It’s a waste, and I for one think she deserves far better.

Luckily, Mauldin and Solomon do have Brooks around and he can do wonders with even the most rancid of screenplays. It’s a completely different viewing experience every time he’s on screen, and seeing a good 90 percent of The In-Laws revolves around him, that’s all to the film’s benefit. If only director Fleming could have reined in Douglas just a bit and sent the screenwriters back to the table for one more pass at the script. Even if I didn’t know anything about the sublime Falk/Arkin original, this movie still wouldn’t pass the mustard. The In-Laws is a showcase for the immensely talented Brooks, but as a comedy worthy of affection, it’s mysteriously stranded at the altar.

Rating: 2 out of 4

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